Batman: The Brave and the Bold quotes

Batman

What is this now, the fifth or sixth deathtrap I've been tied up to because of you over the years? Ridiculous!

Green Arrow

Hey, I said I was sorry. Up and to the right. Who knew his wristwatch was equipped with knockout gas? What, like you've never made a mistake, Bats?

Batman

Apparently I made one when I thought you could help me stop the Clock King.

Green Arrow

You keep complaining. It gives me more time to show you up.

Okay, okay, here's one. Poison Ivy has used her mind-control spores on Superman to pit him against Batman. Oh, oh! And Batman has no kryptonite. Who wins?

Easy. Superman.

Wrong. Batman, by using his kryptonite.

You just said he has no kryptonite.

Trick question. Batman always has kryptonite.

Plastic Man

Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Because I'm seeing gorillas riding pterodactyls, with harpoon guns, stealing a boat.

Batman

It's Gorilla Grodd.

Plastic Man

It's messed up is what it is.

Plastic Man

Those chemicals turned me into the freak I am today. The only reason you ever help me is because you feel guilty.

Batman

There are no happy endings to a life of crime, O'Brien. You made your choice. It's up to you to make the best of it.

You amuse me, Batman. You dress as an animal. You battle against the worst of humanity, the vile underbelly that only wishes to destroy. You should join my noble cause.

Batman

My only cause is to send you back to the zoo.

Pandora's Box, Batman. And once I've freed the evils from their ancient prison, you will be the first to suffer my wrath!

Batman

Toying with forces you can't possibly understand, Faust – you know how that ends, right?

And that's how I recovered the stolen statue. I call that "The Mystery of the Stolen Statue". "The Secret of the Mechanical Sea Monster". "Coral Reef Rescue". And the time I wore an eye patch to infiltrate a crew if pirates, I call that…

Batman

"Aquaman's Undercover Adventure".

No. "The Time I Wore an Eye Patch to Infiltrate a Crew of Pirates". What you said is good, too.

Outrageous! I knew you had a hero inside you looking for a way out.

It was easy. Every time I smashed the machine, I just imagined it was your face.

Oh. Well. Good job.

Green Arrow

Okay, Doc, where are we?

Better to ask, "When are we?" It is the fifth century A.D., the place is Britain, and I… am Merlin Ambrosius.

Green Arrow

No, really, where are we?

Green Arrow

That's fourteen for me, Bats.

Batman

We're fighting for our lives against a horde of supernatural creatures. This isn't the time for infantile games. [takes down a monster] Fifteen.

Red Tornado

Merry Christmas, Batman.

Batman

Now's not the time, Red Tornado.

Red Tornado

But isn't Christmas tomorrow?

Batman

Not what I mean. Tornado, behind you!

I was just playing around with my new toys, Batman. Is that so wrong?

Red Tornado

Based on criminal records, most of your actions are wrong. Felony robbery, parole violation, felony assault, jaywalking--

Batman

Not now, Tornado. [to Fun Haus] If you think we're going to let you continue your deranged rampage, you're wrong.

Yes, yes. "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas!" Unfortunately, the games have only just begun tonight.

Merry, Christmas, son. Let's see what Santa brought you.

Based on the dimensions, and weight of the package, and the sound of what's inside, I think I've deduced exactly what it is!

Our little detective.

Gee, that won't give kids nightmares, will it?

Wildcat

You and your gizmos. Come on, we should be on the chase, not playing mad scientist.

Batman

You know, nowadays, there's more to fighting crime than a thick skull and fists. And I wouldn't need to track them with gizmos if I didn't have to bail you out while they got away - twice!

Wildcat

And who says I needed you to bail me out?! You know, I've been doing this since you were in Bat-diapers, and I've gotten along just fine!

Batman

You're right - you have been doing this a long time. Maybe too long.