Scenes with Francine Frensky 51
Arthur and Francine ride their bikes to Muffy's House. When they get there, they see duck workers rolling out new lawn. A man with a hedge trimmer walks past them.
FAFrancine and Arthur
(gasp)
FrancineYou think you can do it, Arthur?
I've got to, Francine! [surreptitiously walks over to the mailbox and puts in an envelope]
Are you sure this is going to be done in time?
CMrs. Crosswire
Muffy, why don't you go check the mail?
Okay. Maybe there's something for me!
Francine
Muffy's coming!
Muffy comes running
[hides behind a tree] Oh no! If Muffy catches me, my entire birthday will be ruined!
[catches up with Buster outside Lakewood Elementary] Buster, can you come to my party?
Are you kidding?! Of course!
[give Binky and invitation at his locker] Binky Barnes.
Yeah, and Francine. [gives an invitation to Francine as she passes]
Francine
Oh boy! We can play spin the bottle!
Arthur and Buster look embarrassed
[whispers] It's not too late to uninvite her.
No, I'll just do the recycling that morning so that there'll be no bottles in the house. [meets Muffy who is also holding invitations] Will you come to my party?
Saturday afternoon! I can't wait!
PSPrunella, Sue Ellen and Fern
[gasp]
This Saturday afternoon?! But that's when I'm having my party! [hands out invitations to Arthur’s friends] I would've handed out my invitations two days ago, but they came back late from the printer.
[hands out invitations to the girls] Can't you change your party to another day?
Are you kidding?! The rock band and Pickles the clown have been booked for months!
You got Pickles?! He did my cousin's wedding! He's a genius!
SStudents
Ooooh, Pickles!
But I can't change my party either! All my relatives are coming from Ohio!
Well then, everybody will just have to choose which party to attend.
Everyone looks at their invitations.
What are you thinking about?
Francine
About whose party to go to. Why? What are you thinking about?
Arthur, Buster, Binky and Brain are playing with a basketball during recess
As boys, we have to stick together! [passes the ball to Binky]
The rabbit's right as rain!
I agree! We all go to Arthur's party! [he, Buster and Binky join hands]
Muffy, Francine, Prunella, Sue Ellen and Fern are nearby at the jungle gym
Who needs boys? Anyone who doesn't come to my party can't be my friend anymore!
Francine
But a party won't be fun without the boys!
Are you my friend or not!
A teacher calls the kids with a whistle. There’s a rope lying on the ground
CGCoach Grimslid
Come here kids! Let's choose sides for a tug of war! Muffy, you be one captain! Buster, you be the other! Muffy, choose your first player!
This team looks good to me!
CGCoach Grimslid
Okay then, the team that pulls the other team over this line wins! [blows her whistle]
KKids
[starts pulling and strains]
Who needs boys?! Pull! Who needs boys?! Pull!
Who needs girls?! Pull! Who needs girls?! Pull!
Come on guys, pull! [ties the rope to his waist and leans back. Prunella ties the other end to the jungle gym. Suddenly the rope breaks and all kids fall down]
Boys and girls sit at separate tables in the Powers’ ice-cream shop.
Francine and Arthur both walk to the counter.
Everybody's really starting to hate each other.
Francine
This is just terrible Arthur!
BMBuster, Muffy, Sue Ellen and Fern
[angrily blows raspberry]
I wish you could come to my party.
Francine
I promised Muffy. How can I go to both? What's a party without boys?!
Wait a minute! I have an idea! [whispers in her ear]
Francine
That's a great idea, Arthur!!
[covers Francine's mouth] Shhh! But we have to keep it secret!
Arthur and Francine sit in the treehouse.
Francine
Let me write them. It has to look like Muffy's handwriting.
Okay, but be sure that there's one for all the girls. I'll write the note to Muffy myself. [begins writing]
Arthur and Francine ride through town on their bikes and put invitations in several mailboxes.
Francine
Okay, it's in!
[checks a clipboard] All that's left is....
AFArthur and Francine
Muffy!
The opening scene at the Crosswires’ gate is shown again
Francine
You think you can do it, Arthur?
I've got to, Francine! [walks to the mailbox]
Francine
(gasps) Duck!
Arthur ducks and an anthropomorphic duck worker walks by.
Arthur hides until the worker has gone back through the gate. Then he runs to the mailbox and is about to put his note in when he hears Muffy.
Are you sure this is going to be done in time for my big party?
CMrs. Crosswire
Muffy, why don't you go check the mail?
Okay. Maybe I got more presents!
Arthur quickly puts in the note.
Francine
Muffy's coming!
Muffy runs towards the mailbox and Arthur hides behind a tree. Francine covers her eyes.
[gets the invitation and runs back through the gate] Mommy! I got a note from Arthur!
Arthur is not to be seen. Francine scratches her head. Arthur peeps out of some rolls of lawn.
Francine
(giggles)
[comes out covered in mud] Let's go!
[runs into the kitchen looking relieved] Mission accomplished!
[holds a plate of pancakes] Just in time for your favorite!
BAunt Bonnie
With maple syrup all the way from Ohio!
CGCousin George
[brings a present] Happy birthday, Arthur! Guess what it is?
CGCousin George
It's a chemistry set!
Mrs. Read, Grandma Thora and George hang up decorations in the hallway
Time for birthday kisses! [kisses Arthur on the head]
And eight birthday hugs! [hugs Arthur]
And a pinch to grow an inch! [laughs and annoyingly chases Arthur]
The doorbell rings. Mr. Read opens to Buster and Brain.
Prunella walks up to the house.
Hey, what's she doing here?
And here comes Francine too.
Francine
(comes running and giggles)
Binky, Fern and Sue Ellen come in.
Arthur: Yeah, come in!
Francine
It's a surprise for Muffy!
It's a surprise for all of us!
The kids follow Arthur and Mr. Read closes the door.
The living room grandfather clock strikes noon
Everyone find a place to hide! Muffy will be here any minute!
What did you say in your note to Muffy?
I said, "I have a special present for you. It's so big that I can't carry it by myself. Please come to my house today at noon to get it!"
The doorbell rings.
Arthur opens the door to Muffy.
The kids leap out of hiding.
I told you your present was too big to carry.
Francine
What's a birthday party without all of your friends?
The kids put on party hats. They play limbo. Binky falls on his back while Kate easily crawls under the stick. Mr. Read lifts her up in victory. Buster tries to smash a clown-shaped piñata. So does Francine, but the piñata merely swings
Maybe I better help you out. [hits the piñata to no avail]
Mr. Read hits the piñata with a hammer. The kids continue to party.
The kids gather around a birthday cake.
This is great! We should do this every year! Thank you everybody!
Next year we'll do it at your house.
Francine
Time to open your presents! I picked this out especially for you! [gives the present to Arthur]. You have to promise me you'll use it right away!
Arthur: Sure, I can't wait! [unpacks a box in a bottle]
Francine
It's a spin the bottle game.
Francine
Let me show you how it works. [spins the bottle. It points to Pal and he licks her face].
Francine looks annoyed but then pets Pal.
Outside, Mr. Read tries to open the piñata with a chainsaw.
[At the Frensky's apartment, Francine starts flickering with the lights, but Catherine gets irritated by this]
Francine! I'm trying to read Shakespeare.
Francine
Srry, Catherine. But if I'm to play Edison convincingly, I need experience with electric lights.
[Francine continues flickering with the light switch, but Catherine is still annoyed]
Why didn't you just study a phonograph or a movie camera? He invented these.
Francine
Great idea, I would. [pause] As soon as I'm done here. [Francine flickers with the light switches once again]
(At the mall, Arthur and Buster see some babies in strollers, which gets him confused.)
What's the big deal with babies? They didn't even do anything.
Maybe you can teach your baby to do something useful, like earn money for you.
(In Arthur's imagination, he imagines he is a magician.)
Presenting the Amazing Baby.
(The audience is thrilled by the Amazing Baby, and they give their money to Arthur the magician.)
(In the second imagination, Arthur pretends he has a smart baby who does his homework for him.)
BBuster (V.O.)
Or do your homework.
And when you're done with math, don't forget to write my report on Magellan!
(Now Arthur and Buster are in the treehouse while the imagination fades out.)
*sighs* If only life were like it.
BBuster (V.O.)
Pretty soon, you can forget about playing after school; you'll have to babysit! (laughs)
(in disappointmently) Yes.
Francine
And you'll start talking baby talk. All the time.
(Arthur and his friends are playing football and he trips to other side of the team and falls.)
CCoach
Good catch, Read! You all right?
(in baby talk) Got a stinky diaper..
(Everyone on the football team, including their coach, hold their noses in disgust. They all start laughing out loud.)
Francine
(holding her nose) Oh, Arthur still uses diapers like a baby..
(Arthur let’s put a long groan before sighing in relief)
(holding his nose) And you stink real bad, too.
(At school, Francine doesn't understand why Kate cries when Arthur accidentally gets near her.)
Francine
What do you mean, she hates you?
She cries every time I get near her.
Francine
She's a baby. Babies cry.
AArthur (V.O.)
D.W. doesn't make her cry. Just me.
(Then on Wednesday afternoon, his mother wants him to babysit Kate while she is gone.)
ASArthur's Mom
Arthur, can you watch Kate while I go upstairs?
ASArthur's Mom
Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine.
AArthur (V.O.)
Here, you dropped this.
(angrilyerish) ARTHUR!!! WAS THAT ON THE FLOOR? IT HAS TO BE "STERILIZED"!!
(Kate cries, and D.W. asks Arthur to hold the pacifier while she gets something from her nurse bag.)
Hold this. (opens the bag, but things fall on the floor) Dang it. (grabs the tissue) Don't worry about it, I will take care of everything. (wipes the pacifier with her tissue, blows on it, rubs it on her nurse outfit, and puts it back in Kate's mouth. Then Kate stops crying and falls asleep when the pacifier is in her mouth. Afterwards, the doorbell rings.) I'll get it.
(Buster and Francine are at the front door and D.W. answers it.)
No, he was babysitting. Would you like to come in and see the baby?
BFBuster and Francine
Yeah. Sure.
(When Buster and Francine are in the house, they awe at the way Kate is when she's sleeping.)
Do not get too close, because you have germs!
Francine
What a cute baby. She looks just like me when I was a baby.
(Kate squirms, spits out her pacifier, and starts crying again.)
Everyone stand back. I know what she needs. (She then grabs the baby bottle out of her nurse bag and tries giving it to Kate. She jolts her head back and forth, then cries again. D.W. then gives the bottle to Francine.) Everyone remain calm!
Francine
Arthur, aren't you going to help?
No, I'll only make it worse!
I know what to do. Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper.
Come on, Kate. (makes mouth noises, but Kate continues crying)
(holding Kate and patting her) I wonder what she's trying to tell us! (Kate then poops and sighs. She then falls asleep right on Arthur's shoulders)
FBFrancine and Buster
Ew!
ASArthur's Mom
Oh what is this smell!? Is everything all right? (D.W. is shocked to see that Arthur calmed Kate down.)
Arthur got the baby to poop right when she was about to explode! (Kate then kisses Arthur, but Buster thinks she's spitting on him) Oh, gross. She's spitting on him.
Francine
She's not. She's kissing him.
(Arthur's Mom, Francine and Buster are all in awe. Then D.W. enters the living room, proud of what Arthur has done.)
RRattles
You big liar! You lie! You're just a lie-y liar! You big lying lie-face!
Well, I hope you've learned your lesson, Arthur, which is, namely, never to lie because when you lie, you... well, you're doing a very, very bad thing.
Francine
Hi, Arthur. I wanted to tell you, I'm glad you told the truth.
Hey, anybody wanna play kickball?
RRattles
Yeah, sure! Come on, Binky!
Francine
Come on, Arthur. I'm not mad at you anymore.
Francine
We weren't there when Arthur did it!
Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!
I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.
Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?
It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.
Francine
That's crazy!
One of you took my snowball!
Francine
Why don't you just confess, Buster?
Francine
It was probably Arthur.
Me? How could you think I would do something like that?
Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.
I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!
You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.
Arthur · 265 quotes
