Scenes with DW Read 85
DWD.W.
Forget calling him Puddles. How about Lake?
[holding a pooper-scooper in one hand and Kate in the other] Then, you'll need this.
DWD.W.
[holding a shovel] No, you'll need this!
Pal was in the living room too!
[Arthur gulps]
My catering schedules! [walks over]
[holding up a bar of soap covered in dog fur] What's this?! It's the soap from the bathroom!
DWD.W.
You still think he's so smart?
[Pal hiccups bubbles]
He ate the whole living room?
He didn't eat it. Just chewed on it.
My puppy was so much trouble that my mother gave it away while I was at school.
[Arthur gasps and Pal burps up a soap bubble]
[writes invitations on the table]
DWD.W.
What are you playing?
I'm not playing. I'm writing invitations to my birthday party.
DWD.W.
[walks to Arthur] How do you spell "party"?
DWD.W.
I'm making invitations to my birthday party.
Your birthday is not for six months!
DWD.W.
Yeah, but I'm gonna invite everyone. And I write slow.
[picks up the invitations]
[takes the laundry out of the washing machine, but tugs on a towel] Give me that, you little scamp!
[comes with his invitations] Mom, my invitations are all written!
DWD.W.
Look at that dog! He's eating a towel! Arthur, your dog can't tell towels from food!
[put the invitations on the washing machine, picks up Pal and takes him to a calendar on the wall] Come on, boy! I can't wait! How many days left? One, two, three... four more days until my birthday.
DWD.W.
I think it would be easier to teach him to use a calculator than to count.
Arthur? Are you ready to go buy party supplies?
Arthur and D.W. enter a party supply store with their mom and explore the store
DWD.W.
Double whoa! [notices some square balloons] Huh? How do you get square balloons?
SEStore Employee
Blow square breaths!
Arthur and Mrs. Read blow noisemakers at each other
Arthur looks at balloons, one of which is the shape of Mr. Haney’s head. Arthur scratches his head
DWD.W.
[comes with a unicorn plate] Get these pretty plates, Arthur!
No way D.W.! I'm getting these! [shows her a Bionic Bunny plate]
The Read parents, Kate and D.W. sit at the dining table. D.W. has a unicorn plate.
[eats messily, coos, laughs]
What kind of birthday cake should I bake?
DWD.W.
See, Arthur? Even Kate agrees with me about the plates.
Have a good day at school, honey!
DWD.W.
And don't forget to hand out your invitations! [hands them to Arthur]
I hope everybody can come to my party!
[runs into the kitchen looking relieved] Mission accomplished!
[holds a plate of pancakes] Just in time for your favorite!
BAunt Bonnie
With maple syrup all the way from Ohio!
CGCousin George
[brings a present] Happy birthday, Arthur! Guess what it is?
CGCousin George
It's a chemistry set!
Mrs. Read, Grandma Thora and George hang up decorations in the hallway
Time for birthday kisses! [kisses Arthur on the head]
And eight birthday hugs! [hugs Arthur]
DWD.W.
And a pinch to grow an inch! [laughs and annoyingly chases Arthur]
The doorbell rings. Mr. Read opens to Buster and Brain.
Prunella walks up to the house.
Hey, what's she doing here?
And here comes Francine too.
(comes running and giggles)
Binky, Fern and Sue Ellen come in.
Arthur: Yeah, come in!
It's a surprise for Muffy!
It's a surprise for all of us!
The kids follow Arthur and Mr. Read closes the door.
The living room grandfather clock strikes noon
Everyone find a place to hide! Muffy will be here any minute!
What did you say in your note to Muffy?
I said, "I have a special present for you. It's so big that I can't carry it by myself. Please come to my house today at noon to get it!"
The doorbell rings.
ASArthur's Mom
Happy first birthday, Kate!
ADArthur and D.W.
Happy birthday, Kate!
(Kate giggles and stuffs the cake in her mouth)
Babies do some dopey things, but I guess we were all babies once, like my friend Buster.
(Baby Buster eats food placed in the shopping cart at the grocery store)
No, sweetie. Don't do it.
(Bitzi throws the apple away. Buster eats the celery)
(Bitzi takes the celery away from him)
(Baby Mr. Ratburn is drawing math problems on the walls while his mother is vacuuming)
RSMr. Ratburn's Mother
Emil, what are you doing?
ASArthur's Mom as a baby
Clean my diaper!
Even my little sister Kate is growing up.
(Arthur's Mom wipes Kate's mouth with a napkin.)
I already miss the days when she was a cute little baby.
DWD.W.
(gets into a heated argument with Arthur) No, you don't!
DWD.W.
You didn't even like Kate when she was a little baby!
DWD.W.
(annoyed) Uh-huh, sure. I remember exactly what happened...
(Arthur and D.W. are having a grape-eating contest to see which one will eat the last grape.)
You already ate more than me!
DWD.W.
I needed more than you. You're only bigger than me because you're full of so much poop!
(The last grape lands into D.W.'s mouth.)
(annoyed) You know how the world could be perfect? Remove all little sisters! That's my idea of perfect!
DWD.W.
(swallows the grape) Delicious!
ASArthur's Dad
Arthur! D.W.! We have a surprise for you.
DWD.W.
Is Arthur moving out?
ADArthur and D.W.
What is it? What is it?
ASArthur's Mom
We're going to have a baby!
DWD.W.
(making a disgusted face) Gross! All babies do was poop and stink up the whole house!
(Arthur’s Mom contorts her face and grunts. A smell fills the room.)
DWD.W.
(holding her nose) Eww! Mom!
ASArthur's Dad
It will be about six months before the baby comes. Plenty of time to get ready.
(In Arthur's imagination, he dreams that he has more than one baby, which makes him scream. Meanwhile, at home, Doctor D.W. asks him if he wants to pretend to change a baby's diaper.)
DWD.W.
Arthur. Come over here and I'll show you how to diaper a baby.
(D.W. bends over revealing that she is wearing a diaper. D.W. loudly grunts as she fills the diaper.)
(Holding his nose) Oh, gross! Mom!
(Arthur’s mom is laying on the couch wearing a diaper. She proceeds to fill it and the smell grows worse)
DWD.W.
(holds her nose) Ew! Mom!
ASArthur's Mom
Forget the diapers, come over here. I need to show you two something. You were a baby once, too, you know! (turns on the TV and plays a video of when Arthur was a baby.)
AArthur (V.O.)
Is this me?
ASArthur's Mom
(on TV) Come on, dear. Oh.
ASArthur's Mom
Yes, you're such a cute baby.
DWD.W.
Yeah, what went wrong?
(Arthur's Mom now puts on a video of when D.W. was a baby with lots of crying.)
DWD.W.
Is this me? Didn't I look adorable? And I bet the new baby's going to be just like me.
(cringes) This is what I'm afraid of.
(Now, Arthur's mom is now preparing her trip to the hospital to have a baby, and she is gathering all her stuff.)
(confused) What are you doing now?
ASArthur's Mom
I have to be ready to go to the hospital at anytime now.
DWD.W. (V.O.)
Here's something to look at while you're in the hospital to help you make another perfect kid.
ASArthur's Mom
(giggles) I'll pack it with my other things.
(The next morning, Arthur and D.W. are riding down the stairs and D.W. thought she won and she laughs.)
*grunts in frustration* Huh??
(Arthur is really surprised to see that Grandma Thora is in the house making pancakes, which makes him confused.)
Who wants blueberry pancakes?
DWD.W.
Grandma Thora, you're in the wrong house.
Where are Mom and Dad, Grandma?
They're at the hospital. You both have a new baby sister.
DWD.W.
A sister! My sister! She'll be just like me! Yahoo!
(At the hospital, D.W. and Arthur's dad look and see which baby is theirs. Arthur's dad finds her.)
DWD.W. (V.O.)
Which one was my sister?
ASArthur's Dad
This is her, and her name was Kate.
(Kate starts crying. This makes Arthur confused.)
DWD.W. (V.O.)
She's got your nose, Arthur.
(That afternoon, Arthur's dad decides to record a video of Kate.)
ASArthur's Mom
Arthur, would you like to hold Kate?
(When Arthur holds Kate, she starts crying.)
(holding his nose) MOM!!! MOM!!!!
DWD.W.
Can I hold her? Can I hold her? She doesn't cry when I hold her.
(Then on Wednesday afternoon, his mother wants him to babysit Kate while she is gone.)
ASArthur's Mom
Arthur, can you watch Kate while I go upstairs?
ASArthur's Mom
Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine.
AArthur (V.O.)
Here, you dropped this.
DWD.W.
(angrilyerish) ARTHUR!!! WAS THAT ON THE FLOOR? IT HAS TO BE "STERILIZED"!!
(Kate cries, and D.W. asks Arthur to hold the pacifier while she gets something from her nurse bag.)
DWD.W.
Hold this. (opens the bag, but things fall on the floor) Dang it. (grabs the tissue) Don't worry about it, I will take care of everything. (wipes the pacifier with her tissue, blows on it, rubs it on her nurse outfit, and puts it back in Kate's mouth. Then Kate stops crying and falls asleep when the pacifier is in her mouth. Afterwards, the doorbell rings.) I'll get it.
(Buster and Francine are at the front door and D.W. answers it.)
DWD.W.
No, he was babysitting. Would you like to come in and see the baby?
BFBuster and Francine
Yeah. Sure.
(When Buster and Francine are in the house, they awe at the way Kate is when she's sleeping.)
DWD.W.
Do not get too close, because you have germs!
What a cute baby. She looks just like me when I was a baby.
(Kate squirms, spits out her pacifier, and starts crying again.)
DWD.W.
Everyone stand back. I know what she needs. (She then grabs the baby bottle out of her nurse bag and tries giving it to Kate. She jolts her head back and forth, then cries again. D.W. then gives the bottle to Francine.) Everyone remain calm!
Arthur, aren't you going to help?
No, I'll only make it worse!
DWD.W.
I know what to do. Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper.
Come on, Kate. (makes mouth noises, but Kate continues crying)
(holding Kate and patting her) I wonder what she's trying to tell us! (Kate then poops and sighs. She then falls asleep right on Arthur's shoulders)
FBFrancine and Buster
Ew!
ASArthur's Mom
Oh what is this smell!? Is everything all right? (D.W. is shocked to see that Arthur calmed Kate down.)
Arthur got the baby to poop right when she was about to explode! (Kate then kisses Arthur, but Buster thinks she's spitting on him) Oh, gross. She's spitting on him.
She's not. She's kissing him.
(Arthur's Mom, Francine and Buster are all in awe. Then D.W. enters the living room, proud of what Arthur has done.)
(D.W. is having a tea party in her room. She notices a funny smell)
DWD.W.
P.U.! What is this smell!'
(D.W. notices Jane and Kate in the corner of the room. She’s goes to investigate. As she gets closer the smell gets worse. D.W. realizes what is happening. Baby Kate is being changed.)
DWD.W.
(holding her nose) P.U.! It smells like a zoo in here!
(D.W. runs to the window to open it and let in some fresh air)”
(noticing a pressure in her stomach) D.W., close this. I have to make a pushy.
(Jane squats down and grunts. A muffled sound is heard, as Jane’s diaper begins to sag.)”
DWD.W.
(holding her nose) Yuck! Mom, you smell worse than Kate..
(D.W. looks down and notices her doll is making a face.)
(The smell immediately grows worse.)
DWD.W.
(holding her nose) Ew! My doll has a stinky diaper!
Arthur · 265 quotes
