Arthur Read quotes from Arthur

(grieves) And how about when Cousin Lucy got married? I had to stay at home and cook and clean while everyone else went to the wedding. (Imaginary flashback: D.W., in rags again, which are now completely tattered, cleans the fireplace and sneezes)

[indignantly in shouts] AREN'T YOU DONE YET?! YOU STILL HAVE THE BEDS TO MAKE AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE BREAKFAST DISHES!!

[to Jane; Shouts] NEVER!!!

[in tears] Can't I go to the wedding, please?!

Weddings are *NOT* for little girls!

But what about Kate? She's going!

(insanely) Kate is a baby! Besides, we like her better than you. Ready, everyone? [these leaves in the house]

Don't forget to brush the dog. (D.W. brushes away her tears. She watches from the window as the family gets in the car and leaves with Arthur tells "Never, Mom! NEVER!!". The flashback ends. D.W. sniffs on her pillow.)

[moans] It was so sad being me.

But you went to the wedding, D.W.

Whose side are you on, anyways?

Mom?

[concerned] What was it, now?

Well, are you sure my clock was working? Because I've really been in here for hours.

Your clock was workin' perfectlys. Go back to your room.

That's it. Well, I think I'll call Grandma's. But at least she loves me though. (In her imagination, David picks up the phone in the kitchen. Grandma Thora is phoning from her kitchen with D.W. sitting next to her eating cookies.)

Hello?

Son, this is your mother. What do you mean by punishing poor little D.W.?! (looks at D.W.) Eat up, lovey. You can have all the cookies you want. (returns to call) How can you do that. Look at this little angel. This child is perfect. (A halo appears over D.W.'s head) Punish Arthur. He's the real troublemaker.

Absolutely. Yes, of course, Mom. Arthur, go to your room and never come out!!!

[gulps]

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, MOM, I'LL NEVER TELL GO TO YOUR--

*SILENCE!!!* Arthur, can I ask you question?

Oh, I'm sorry about yelling. Will you forgive us?

[?] Hold it! This is not gonna be movie.

Buster Baxter

It could be?

No way!

Buster Baxter

Coming to theater near you!

It is NOT!

Buster Baxter

[?] ???

D.W., I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as busalooey. If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck the CD!

Mom!

I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.

Found it!

Great.

Mom! Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!

Turn it off! I can't hear you!

Arthur?

Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV.

D.W., wash up for dinner.

What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea!

D.W., are you OK?

What's the matter?

CRAZY BUS IS GONE! I LEFT IT ON THE THING AND IT'S GONE! GONE!

Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.

I know! Arthur took it!

I didn't!

Honestly, Arthur?

I didn't take it, Dad, really!

Yeah, like you didn't take my snowball out of the freezer!

Let's not start that again.

[starts to cries] Life is so unfair!

Francine

She's giving me the creeps, Arthur. Why don't you give her the CD back?

I don't have it. Don't you believe me?

Francine

Mm-mmm.

Buster

I bet an ancient race of squid people took it to their hidden grotto far beneath the sea!

While we're out, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Catherine.

I know you have it!

Okay?

Yes.

Good, they're gone!

Aah!

I caught you! Give it back!!

D.W.!!

Catherine

Time out! I'm trying to do my vocabulary homework. What's causing this vexation?

Huh?

We're not on vacation. We live here.

Catherine

Vexation, it means "trouble". What's the trouble?

The trouble is that's mine!

Is not! It's a game I borrowed from The Brain.

Catherine

Phenomenal!

[mumbling] I know he took it!

I caught you! A criminal always returns to the scene of the crime!

You left your possum outside. I was putting it away.

You're gonna make a mistake! And when you do, I'll catch you! Just you wait!

D.W.'s haunting me!

Maybe it's your guilty conscience that's bothering you!

Catherine

D.W., why don't you sit with me?

Aah! D.W. tore my room apart!! [wiggling angrily] She touched all my stuff!! Tell her to stop touching my stuff!!

I was looking for my Crazy Bus.

Catherine

This calls for some Solomon-like wisdom. [hums] D.W., you stay on that side. And Arthur, you stay on that side. No more bothering each other! Boy, I'm good.

Give me my jacket!!

It was on my side! Why do you want it so bad unless my Crazy Bus is in it?!

I don't have your Stupid Bus!!

It's not Stupid Bus, it's Crazy Bus! Stupid Bus is a lame puppet show!!

Pal, stop it!

Catherine

D.W., telephone!

Hello? I can't hear you!

We found your CD! Your father accidentally took it!

What are you doing?

Unlike you, I realized that the only way for two people to stop fighting is for one of them to say, "Stop". I'm forgiving you.

This is a trick! I know that this is a trick!!

Catherine

Aren't you happy that your Mom found your CD?

Buster

My mom's here. See you later.

Close that raincoat, you'll get double pneumonia!

Francine

Mom, yahoo!

Maybe your parents forgot about you.

No, they're coming from my Aunt Lucy's house. It's pretty far.

If they don't come, you'll be alone in an empty school all night.

Uh-uh.

Uh-huh. [a car horn sounds] That's my mom! Too bad. I guess you'll be here all alone.

Mrs. Barnes

Arthur, your mom called me. Your family has to spend the night at your aunt's because they had car trouble. So you'll be spending the night at our house. You can share Binky's room.

[his gloating smile disappears] He... uh-ah-ah! What?!

Binky's pajamas don't exactly fit you, but they'll do.

My teeth are all brushed. I'm ready for bed!

Mrs. Barnes

Arthur's already in your room.

What?! [grunts] Um, good night!

Hey, what's that?

What?

In your hand.

There's nothing in my hand. [grunts] See?

The other hand. Behind your back.

What, this? It's a... my reading lamp. [plugs it in]

Hm. How do you read down there?

Like this. [puts a book on the floor and leans out of the bed]

Doesn't look very comfortable.

Hey, I don't read a lot, okay? Good night. [lies down]

Hey, you forgot to turn off the light.

Oh, yeah. [giggles]

Kind of scary.

Will you go to sleep?

Nooo!

What's happening?

Mrs. Barnes

[comes in] Oh, honey... You forgot to turn on your night-light. [plugs it in and leaves] There. Now you won't have any more nightmares.

I have nightmares if I don't turn the night-light on. Okay?

[yawns] Huh? [falls asleep]

So go to sleep.