Arthur Read quotes from Arthur

[Jane turns off the TV with the TV remote] MOM!!!

We were right in the middle!

5 more minutes?

It was just getting to the good part!

Oh, Mom! Why do I have to eat at the table?

Because you're not sick.

Ech! Spinach? How come Arthur doesn't have to eat spinach?

Because he's sick.

He's not. He's faking.

Hurry up. I'm next.

I don't feel so well.

Go on, faker.

AAAAAGGGHHH!!

What is it?

What's wrong?

Arthur has polka dots!

What is wrong with me?

It's chicken pox.

Do you get it from chickens?

No, it's just a normal childhood illness. I had it, your mom had it.

I'll call Grandma Thora and see if she can come over while we're at work. She knows all about chicken pox.

Does this mean Arthur can't go to the circus?

Well, we'll have to see.

WHAT?

Sorry, honey, but chicken pox is very contagious.

It looks like you're not going anywhere for a while. But, don't worry about it. I'll take care of you.

Want to hear a good joke? Knock-knock... [Pal grabs the hotdog and pulls her off her chair] Hey! The dog stole my wiener! The dog stole my wiener!

Arthur, tell Pal to let go!

Pal, let go! [Pal drags D.W. through the kitchen.]

It's mine It's mine!

Pal, sit! Heel! Stay! Lie down! Um... Roll over!! [Pal has got D.W.'s hot dog and as he runs around the kitchen, he pulls D.W. with him]

Give it back! I don't eat your dog food, do I?! [Pal pulls her under the table. Oof. They play tug-of-war.] Grr! I'll never let go! Never! Ow! [Pal pulls the hotdog out of the bun and she falls backwards, after Pal managed to get D.W.'s wiener and ate it] Someday, I'm gonna teach that dog a lesson he won't forget!

You're doing it all wrong!

I am not! I am not! I am not!

What's going on, you two?

Arthur's ruining the game! He's not playing right.

I am so! I roll the dice, I move around the board.

But you're supposed to be having fun. Look at the little boy on the box!

That little boy is not playing with you.

Arthur, is there another game you can play?

Yes. I'll go set it up.

Mom, Dad! I can't write a report that I played Confuse the Goose! Everyone will laugh at me.

Why don't you read a book to D.W.?

Yes, that should be quiet... eh, fun.

Mom and Dad said I don't have to play that. But I'll read to you.

Mom! Arthur said you said he didn't have to play with me!

Buster

I don't know what you can do, Arthur.

Everything around here is too boring to be in a report.

I'm ready! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! Hm-hm!

Just watch wrestling until the rain stops. How long can it rain for?

This system is very similar to a monsoon during which it rains nonstop for an entire month.

Arthur? Are you still here?

Like it would be so hard to play one game of Confuse the Goose with your adorable sister.

"Once upon a time..."

Let me guess. They lived happily ever after, right?

Right.

I knew it. Boring!

Everybody freeze!!

Arthur's trying to bite my nose.

Is that any way to treat a book?!

No. No, but she... She didn't want me reading to her!

Why don't you draw?

What did you draw?

A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?

A stick.

A stick?

A stick from the park where you [furiously shouts] promised to take me today!!

I never promised you anything!

Did too!

Did not!

We're never gonna get anything done.

Did too!

Did not!

Ahem! Have fun at Grandma's. [smiles and closes the door]

It's raining! We'll die out here!

Come on! [pulls her away] If you'd behaved, we'd still be dry.

Me?! I didn't do anything. I'm the cute one! You're annoying.

Oh great! Now I get to write a really exciting report about visiting my grandma. "I went to my grandma's. She's nice. The end." I'm doomed!

Francine

We weren't there when Arthur did it!

I didn't do it!

Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!

Buster

I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.

Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?

Buster

It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.

Francine

That's crazy!

One of you took my snowball!

Francine

Why don't you just confess, Buster?

Yeah!

Buster

Me? Why don't you?!

Francine

It was probably Arthur.

Me? How could you think I would do something like that?

Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.

I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!

You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.

Mr. Ratburn

The Great Wall of China is 1500 miles long. It was built over 2000 years ago and still stands today.

Wow.

Buster

[whispers] That's even older than the cafeteria hot dogs.

Mr. Ratburn

Ahem! He shows the next slide. The Appian Way was the chief highway from Rome to Greece. It was built in 312 B.C. It's still in use today. He switches the lights back on. We’re going to divide into teams to study and report on important ancient civilizations. The team to report on Rome: Arthur, Francine and Buster.

Great team!

Francine

Oh, boy!

Buster

Great!

You don't want them to think you're a little kid anymore.

Yeah... I mean, no offense.

Sometimes you feel like you're too old for certain things.

I just don't want people to make fun of me.

Real friends don't make fun of real friends. And your friends seem like real friends. They all seem to be concerned about you.

Cucumbers: yucky. Mushrooms: yucky. Onions: yucky and smelly. Wait a minute, this isn't lettuce. What kind of a salad is this?

Uh-oh. [singsong] She's going to pop.

This is spinach.

Is something wrong?

This is spinach, AND I...HATE... SPINACH!!! [everyone in the restaurant gasps and laughed] Uh-oh!

[fiercely] That's it, I quit.

No!

[sternly quietness] Dora Winifred Read. [cut to Arthur's house with Grandma Thora and Baby Kate]

Back so soon. Did you all have a good time?

D.W. just punched her salad and then exploded! [pauses, David and Jane disappointedly stared to him] All over the waiter. But everyone was looking at us.

THEY WERE NOT!!! Everybody was making this into such a big deal!?

[sulky] No restaurants for you, young lady, until you behave and learn to eat what's placed in front of you. Now go to your room.

Jane, please.

Well, what about Grandma Thora's birthday at the Once Upon a Restaurant next week?

D.W. will not be joining us and gonna kill me.

Oh. well, that's too bad. [sighs] Dinner without D.W. I guess we'll just have to suffer through it without her.

If D.W. couldn't come to the restaurant, I'd be just as happy coming over here for dinner.

What? And miss Once Upon a Restaurant?

It just wouldn't be a happy birthday, if D.W. isn't here.

[Jane and David is not maintaining and arguing in off-screen] But this was the best restaurant ever! This was unfair! But am I supposed to do everything with D.W., or what?

Francine

Baby Kate is such a big girl! She loves her spinach. Yes, she does. Don't you, Katie-watie?

[runs inside] Kate, stop! It's a trick! Don't eat it!

No, no. Kate is a big girl. It's not like some sisters who throw their food and have tantrums like babies.

BUT I'M NOT A BABY!

Am too!

Am not!

Am too!

Francine

*Quiet.* If you're not a baby, then prove it. [she hands D.W. a spoonful of spinach; D.W. is about to take a bite when Kate spits up her spinach and smiles]

Well, this looks like I'm not the only one with a good taste around here. But I didn't hate spinach.

Oh, Grandma! I'm so glad you changed your mind. I can't believe we're going to the restaurant after all.

Hey, what are you telling Grandma?!

Nope, it was nothing, D.W., now leave me alone! What's that, Grandma! Oh, yes, I think it'll be just as much fun without her.

Without who?! Let me talk to her! [tries to take the phone]

D.W., isn't there some dancing vegetable on T.V.?

Give me the phone!! I can go wherever I want!!

But you said you didn't want to go to restaurants, remember that? And this one might have spinach. And... [holds the phone out of D.W.'s reach]

Grandma, I'm coming to your party, and it's gonna be lots of fun! Ha, so there! You're not the boss of me, Arthur Read!

Well, Grandma, I guess there's nothing that I could do. We're just going to have to take D.W. with us.

Yeah, that's right. Mom, Dad. I wanna go to the restaurant. And I'll try new food, and eat it all! [runs to find her parents]

Well, this works, but, thanks!

Buster

[at the other end, impersonating Grandma Thora] I'm glad I can help you, sonny!

Buster

[To Francine after Slink whisper to him just one last dare.] Uh, Francine, I need advice!

Francine

What does he need advice for? He just has to run home as fast as he can.

Where's he going now?

He's running home as fast as he can.

Francine

Buster Baxter, I'm gonna get you!!!!!

Buster

And then, the evil genius escapes in his supersonic jet to his other space station shaped which is shaped like a giant clam and...

Buster, snap out of it!

Francine

Buster, there's no way we could do something that complicated.

Buster

Huh?! Oh, you're right. Why even bother?

Well, we could do a supersonic jet.

Buster

Really?

Paper. Marker. Spray-paint. Tah-da!

Buster

Wow! It's just like I imagined! Better!

Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it was nothing like the James Hound movie...

Well, yeah. I mean, we've tried it but...

It's much better!

Really?

Muffy

And the next one's going to be even better! Oops! [ejects the videotape]

(plays with dolls on the living room floor) This is Tiffany and this is her servant. And this is their lifeboat and these are the angry sharks... (Kate grabs Tiffany and D.W. gasps) No! I'll do the playing! You just watch me! (Both Kate and D.W. pull at the doll. The head falls off and D.W. gasps.) Aaugh!! Look what you did!

Play nicely, D.W.

But she killed Tiffany! [Kate giggles]

Here. Give that to me. This looks easy to fix. Don't worry. (She gives D.W. the fixed doll back.) Oh, there we go! Good as new! No need to get excited.

How come you're always on her side?

I'm not on anyone's side. But Kate's a baby, and you're a big girl.

[angrily] I am not a big girl, I'm a little girl! (Kate chuckles) Be quiet, you!

D.W.

You sweet, little baby-wayby! (She sees Jane leaves the room) This was mine! You can only touch it when I say so.

[concerned] D.W.?

[to Jane] No!!!

Give it back, or I'll pinch you!!!

Mama? [Jane grabs her]

I'll SMASHED alarm clock!

UAaRGh!! [drops the Tiffany doll]

[sternly] Dora Winifred Read, go to your room, and Arthur we're not smashing alarm clock in DW's room ever again!

But what did I do?