[voice-over, speaking on her radio show] My daughter has faith. That her father will come home in one piece, that tomorrow will be better than today, that she can be brave, that she can be Saint Joan. I guess what I'm saying is, let's not forget to believe, let your imagination roll again. Or something like that.
S2 E3The Messenger
S2 E4Leaving The Tribe
[trying her best to hide her nausea] Deployment papers ready for your signature sir.
Which unit is leaving next?
3rd Brigade Combat Team.
All right. Thank you, Joan.
Yes, sir. [turns to leave]
Oh, wait. [Joan stops in her tracks] I'd like you to pull their files for me.
All of them, sir? There's almost 500. [Michael looks up at her] I'll have them on your desk by this afternoon–– [dashes to the trash can and vomits in it]
[stoically] I'm guessing that's either bad sushi or you decided to keep the baby.
[regains composure] The baby.
[about to tell her staff that she is pregnant] Some of you have probably noticed a few changes in me lately, and I thank you for not bringing them to my attention.
Roland, I like logic, discipline, control. It makes me feel safe. That's why I love the Army. But now, I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel logical or in control
It's normal. And it's also temporary.
So it is my hormones.
Yes it is.
And you can tell the difference when it's me and when it's...
The 'mones? Yeah, I can tell the difference.
[sighs in relief] Good. 'Cause I can't, I really can't. This morning, I threw up on General Holden.
Ouch. [both laugh]
[...]
I just had a thought.
What?
Since my hormones are up and about anyway...
[grins] Might as well put them to good use.
Exactly. [they start kissing]
S2 E5The Hero Returns
[Joan has fallen asleep at her desk]
LELTC Evan Connor
[knocks at the door] Joan?
[Joan is startled awake]
CConnor
I'm sorry, sometimes, when my wife was pregnant, she wouldn't just nod off at her desk but in the middle of conversations. Of course I think that was my fault. I tend to run on.
[Roxy and Trevor arrive home from the hospital]
Listen.
What?
It's quiet. I never thought I'd miss that.
[walks in from kitchen] Welcome home, superhero.
Hello, Betty.
[deadpan] Where's the cake?
Would you give him a minute before you start with the wisecracks?!
It's fine. I like that someone has a sense of humor about this whole thing. [Betty turns on the TV] Ugh...goodbye quiet.
So when did Pamela drop off the kids?
Last night. It was their idea. They wanted to be here when you got home. Didn't want to miss a minute.
[amused] You left them alone with Betty? Are you crazy?
[laughs] What! They're survivors. I'm sure they found a great place to hide.
S2 E6Thicker Than Water
[Joan notices the large stack of baby books on the coffee table in front of Roland.]
Whoa! Will there be a quiz?
Every day until college!
How's the shoulder?
It's ok. How's the cancer?
Sucks. [deadpan] Wanna trade?
[shakes head] No.
Well, at least you got to take out your enemy. Damn cancer's a sneaky bastard. [points fingers at a mock target] I wish I could just line it up in the crosshairs and drop the son of a bitch. [pretends to shoot]
[sighs] Yeah, don't be so sure.
[pauses] Must be tough to actually shoot somebody.
I know what I did was right but all the attention...I don't know, it just feels wrong somehow. I killed a man. Why would I celebrate that?
S2 E7Uncharted Territory
[Chase has just told Pamela that one of his team members is having a family cookout this afternoon.]
Uh, I sort of promised that you'd make potato salad.
But what you really meant was 'I'll BUY potato salad.'
Absolutely! You think I want to wipe out my entire squad!
Evan, hey I wanted to thank you for reminding me of the pregnancy limits yesterday.
LELTC Evan Connor
Glad I could help
Yeah, I had a discussion with General Holden and we agreed that I need to restrict myself to eight hours a day until my maternity leave.
CConnor
Well, every regulation has its purpose.
Yeah. Hey Evan, check it out. [shows her pregnancy ACU pants]
CConnor
Nice.
Feels good to be loose.
CConnor
Is there anything else I can help you with?
I just wanted you to know that I told the General that I'm happy that you're here. And there's no one more competent to pick up the slack.
CConnor
You said that to him?
[nods] I did. And while I'm home resting I'm gonna feel a lot more at ease knowing that you're here filling in for me. [calls out] Corporal, just put them on the Lieutenant Colonel's desk.
[Corporal brings in a box and a stack of files and papers and sets them on Connor's desk]
CConnor
[opens a file] What's this?
It's the bids for all outside vendors who supply goods to the post. They need to be checked for any irregularities and then altered if noted. [pats Connor on the back and turns to leave] Oh. And, uh, General Holden wants them on his desk at 0800 tomorrow.
CConnor
But this could take all night!
Yeah, wish I could help. [walks out] Later, Evan!
Hey, so, this guy here is from our motorpool. He can fix anything. Right Charlie?
I'll admit that.
Thank you, it's right through those doors.
IInspector
And I'm here to make sure he works on it till it passes. Got your COO right here.
[in amazement] How did you do that???
It's the Army, babe. We take care of our own.
Yeah, but the inspector??
Former paratrooper.
[heaves a huge sigh of relief] Thank you Army. I will never doubt you again!
S2 E8Loyalties
I wish there was a waitress box that I could just check and be done with.
You know, sometimes I think that whoever writes these things does it with the sole intention of just turning my brain to mush.
Well, well. Didn't know you were a maitre d' too.
I figured that as long as I'm here I might as well help out a bit.
That's too bad. We could use some eye candy around here.
[to Roxy] Hey babe, that new waitress of yours, she's pretty flirty.
She's not flirty. She's being smart. With what this job pays you, you gotta use what God gave you to get the big tips.
[Trevor is in the pantry looking for something when Sandy walks in and deliberately bumps into him]
It's kinda cozy in here, dontcha think?
[looks at Sandy in disbelief] Are you serious?
I'm just sayin'. A person can get in a lot of trouble here ya know. If they wanted to.
[backs away from Sandy] All right. [seriously] As weird as this sounds, I'm actually in love with my wife so...just...watch it.
[Unknown to them, Roxy is at the door listening]
[chuckles] Nothing is gonna happen. [goes up to Trevor] Unless you want it to.
Hey! I think he just said he doesn't want it to. 'Cause I got that department covered just fine, thank you.
Roxy, I...I was just––
[deadpan] Leaving. That's what you were just doing. You're fired. [Trevor looks on in bemusement] And unless you want this jar of mayo on your head, I'd leave right now.
[Sandy leaves]
[laughs] Babe! That was so hot!
Thank you! [Trevor kisses her]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Army Wives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.