Angel · Season 2
Okay, we are clear on the fact that Harmony's a vampire, right?
Ohhh! Harmony's a vampire! That's why she- Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. All this time I thought she was a great big lesbo. [Pauses, most likely listening to Willow's news that she is in a relationship with a girl] Oh... good for you then.
Come on, Harm.
Such a fitting nickname.
Time and space. Those are the only solutions in a situation like this. And as long as we understand that, the healing process...
[Cordelia screams in the next room. She comes in holding clothes, ecstatically happy.]
Oh my God! These are gorgeous! You have the most amazing taste, like a gay man's taste and thats saying a lot. I love them so much! [hugs and kisses Angel] Thank you, thank you, you're the best. I have to go try these on. La la la! [Jumping with happiness] New clothes. I have new clothes.
[To an annoyed Wesley] I got her new clothes.
Keep the change.
Wow, a whole dollar just for me. I'm the luckiest delivery man ever.
Could you stab me in the back a little deeper? I still have feeling in my legs.
What are you doing here?
Gee, I don't know, saving your life.
I don't need you to save my life.
Gee, a little gratitude, Lindsey, goes a long way.
You got no business. Why? Why aren't you trying to kill me?
Excuse me, I'm on a case here, Lindsey. Does everything have to be about killing you all the time?
I can see that you guys got issues. I'll just- [Angel chokes him]
That is my lead. You are choking my lead.
He's my lead, he's my lead. What are we, in the schoolyard here? Look, if you want to get to the bottom of this, you gotta learn how to play with others. [to P.O.] Okay look, I'm gonna loosen the rope and you're gonna tell me all about your parolee Bradley Scott.
Who?
The guy whose hand you're wearing. You might want to listen up.
You don't tell me what to do.
He's so immature.
Shut up!
[to P.O.] We're waiting.
I'm not telling you zip. You can kill me but Wolfram and Hart will do a lot worse.
Kill you? Why would I kill you...[morphs into vamp-face]...when I could live off you for a month?
[The guy looks back at Angel and yells as he sees his changed face; Angel pats his face as Lindsey grimaces]
Hmm, can't you just taste that butter fat? [Grins at Lindsey]
You are really gross, you know that?
These re-evaluations are always a bit of a mixed blessing. Sad as we lose one of our own, but also hopeful as we turn towards the future and promote one of our own. Lilah, you have made a lot of great contributions and I know you have tried your very, very best...
No! [she scrabbles for her purse, but Lindsey puts his hands over hers]
Lilah. Please. [she stops and looks at him] They chose me. I'm clearly the guy.
Yes, you are.
You could've had it. But you didn't have what it takes...
[Lindsey raises his right hand up and Lilah jumps, letting out a little scream as he wriggles his fingers]
...an evil hand. I mean, come on. Who here does, huh? Leon doesn't. Charlie doesn't. You do know you gave me an evil hand, right? I've been writing "kill, kill, kill" on everything. It's crazy. It's crazy! Anything could happen!
[signaling security guard] Allen?
Allen, how are you? [punches him and steals his gun] Uh-oh! [shoots Allen in the foot] Oh, that's gonna hurt in the morning. Stop it, evil hand, stop it! I just can't control my evil hand. Nathan, I'm so proud that you chose me. [rubs a co-worker's hair] Charlie! If I'd been in your shoes, I would've chosen Lilah. Let me tell you why. Do you have any idea of the hours this chick has logged in? Huh? The files she has on you guys? Deep stuff. Ronnie, your stock manipulations; Nathan's little offshore accounts. Can you imagine if something were to happen to this girl, and those files got back to the Senior Partners? They'd eat you alive! She's been working overtime, boys. She's everything you ever dreamed of. Lilah is your guy. Me, I'm unreliable; I've got these evil hand issues. And I'm bored with this crap. And besides, I'm leaving, so if you wanna chase me, be my guest. But remember- [holds up his hand] evil. Good luck. [gooses Lilah passing her and holds up his hand] Evil!
I'm just here to say bon voyage and don't come back.
To L.A.? Nah, you can have this place.
Good, I'm glad I didn't have to do something immature here.
The key to Wolfram & Hart- don't let them make you play their game. You gotta make them play yours.
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Don't drive too fast. Lot of cops out there. [Lindsey drives away with a "Cops Suck" sign on the back of his truck]
We're at a dead end.
I thought we had more than that.
There's only one thing we can do now.
Oh, God. Oh no.
The karaoke bar.
Angel's gonna sing?
Isn't there some other way?
There has to be. Think, dammit!
Hey! Wha ...
What is that? Rock? Country? Ballad? Pick a style, pal.
Shh.
Angel cakes! Don't make me ask you to leave.
Look, I need help.
I'll say. You might want to start with his singing. [Laughs.]
[Cordelia slaps the back of her hand against Angel's chest and steps up to Lindsey.]
Hi. You probably don't remember me. Cordelia. I know you're evil - and everything, but that was just so amazing.
That was kind of tight.
Terrific, really.
Is everyone drunk?
[Lorne startles a woman in the library.]
You.. You're.. here for the children's reading program.
Yes. Yes I am.
It's not until tomorrow morning.
I know. I never perform without checking out the space first. Get a feel for the room.
Oh. Well. The kids will flip over your costume. It looks so authentic.
Thank you.
Except for the horns. But those are probably hard to fake.
If you only knew.
[Wesley and Angel just came back from fighting a Haklar.]
How was the big fight? All big and fighty?
We managed to kill the Haklar just as it was about to devour a group of power walkers.
It was horrible.
I know. I saw it in my stupid vision, remember?
No, not the Haklar, the power walkers. I mean, walking I get, but power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time?
[Cordelia looks at Angel strangely.]
Weird. Plus, one of them hit him. (Points to Wesley, whose forehead is injured.)
(gasps) A power walker did that?
Apparently, she felt I'd disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it.
This town sucks.
I 'm not cheap, I-I'm just old. (Slipping into a slight Irish accent) I-I remember when a few bob got you a good meal, a bottle *and* a tavern wench. - You were saying?"
Just remember, keep your head down. Xenophobia, kind of a watchword where I'm from.
I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kinda fly.
Xenophobia. Fear of foreigners.
Oh. Can we forget I just said that?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
