Cordelia Chase quotes from Angel

S2 Are You Now or Have You Ever Been

[looking at the dark liquid in his glass] I, um, I think it's gone bad. It's starting to coagulate.

Cordelia

Huh? No - that's cinnamon. [off Angel's look] What, I can't try something?

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S2 Are You Now or Have You Ever Been

I can sense it. There is a pattern here... Some force was residing at the Hyperion over the last decades, affecting staff and residents. I just fear there is no real way to...

Cordelia

A Thesulac paranoia demon. Whispers to its victims, feeds on their innate insecurities.

[Wesley stares]

Cordelia [holding out phone]: Angel wants to talk to you.

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[Wesley holds out a hand to where Gunn is fiddling with a backpack and snaps his fingers.]

Orb of Ramjerin.

"Orb of Ramjerin, please" makes it happen.

Please! And do be careful. Ancient conjuring orbs are notoriously fragile.

[Gunn tosses the orb to Wesley and Wesley has to drop the book and crouch down to catch it.]

Angel!

Guys, don't listen to it, alright? What ever it's whispering to you, just ignore it.

Cordelia

They were like this all the way over here in the car.

S2 Are You Now or Have You Ever Been

Oh.

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[Cordelia and Wesley try to clean up the long-deserted Hyperion Hotel.]

Cordelia

Oh, this place is never gonna get clean.

Buck up. It's just a little dust.

Cordelia

Oh, this isn't mere dust. This is "Son of Dust". This is the kind of dust that spawns countless generations of little baby dust. I give up.

I suppose will just have to move our offices back into your apartment, then.

Cordelia

And, I'm dusting.

S2 First Impressions

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I'll say please.

Cordelia

Oh I forgot, you'll use your famous charm like you did this afternoon with that pigeon stool.

It's stool pigeon.

S2 First Impressions

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I am not a sheep!

Cordelia

You are such a sheep. You've never had a single opinion you didn't read in a book.

At least I've opened a book.

Cordelia

Oh don't even try with the snooty, Wooly Boy. I was top 10 percent of my class!

What class? Advanced bosoms?

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Cordelia

Gunn's been working hard for us. He should be pulling in a check.

I'll think about asking him.

Cordelia

No think, pay. That's an order.

Let's pretend for a minute that you work for me.

Cordelia

Man, you are really unpleasant...

Okay, then let's pretend you don't.

Cordelia

You can't fire me. I'm vision girl [Sticks her tongue out]

Okay, I'll ask him. On a job to job basis.

Cordelia

My hero.

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Cordelia

I can't get this bandage to - stop moving!

I'm not.

Cordelia

Well, then stop breathing.

I don't breathe.

Cordelia

Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.

That's an ugly looking wound.

It doesn't feel pretty either.

We should definitely approach this girl with caution - I guess you already figured that out.

She's very powerful. We got to find out everything we can about her.

Cordelia

Like, oh, say, her name?

I was impaled at the time!

Cordelia

Of course. Perfectly understandable.

Do you know how hard it is to think straight with a rebar through your torso?

Cordelia

Actually, I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education. No address or anything?

She said she was staying with a friend.

Cordelia

Well, that narrows it down to people with friends. (to Wesley) Where do we keep that list?

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Cordelia

He's been doing for us. He should pull in a check.

I'll think about asking him, all right?

Cordelia

No think, pay. That's an order.

Hey! How about we pretend that you work for me.

Cordelia

You are really unpleasant-

Then why don't we pretend that you don't.

Cordelia

You can't fire me. I'm vision girl. [Sticks her tongue out.]

[Pause.]

All right, I'll think about asking him, okay? Maybe. On a case by case.

Cordelia

My hero.

I was going to suggest that.

Cordelia

Mm-hm.

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Cordelia

You shouldn't worry, Angel does this kind of thing all the time.

BBethany

Makes tea?

Cordelia

Helps people. You know, he helps people with problems.

BBethany

So what's wrong with you?

Where to begin?

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What about my salary? That's fixed too.

Cordelia

What if every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books, we gave you ten bucks? Or a chicken pot pie?

Wait, I have another idea -- no. Get a vision!

Cordelia

Well, it's not like you can hit me in the head and wham, it happens!

What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?

Children, stop bickering.

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The table seems far.

Cordelia

Aw, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days! [to Wesley] It's like living with the world's oldest teenager. He can't be having a growth spurt at two-hundred and forty-eight, could he?

Two forty-seven!

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[Shot of some manacles and a gun on a table.]

This is all just precautionary. When push comes to shove, Angel's our - we trust him.

[picks up gun] I see.

Cordelia

It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky.

He turns evil?!

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Cordelia

Okay, okay. Let's not get off track here. We wanna find Angel as much as you do.

Kate Lockley

No you don't. You wanna protect him, even though he's lost it. He stalked that woman because he thought she was this Darla from his past. She begged him to stay out, and he knocked down the door and killed her husband. I've read about him too, I know what he is, and I know he hasn't changed.

No. He hasn't. He's still a vampire.

Cordelia

Gunn! Not helping.

So how'd he get in the house? She invite him in?

Kate Lockley

Course she didn't in...

Cordelia

The only way Angel could have gotten into that house uninvited would be if the real owners were dead. It's what he was saying all along, she isn't DeEtta Kramer!

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[The team is at Caritas, a karaoke bar favored by demons.]