Cordelia Chase quotes from Angel

Cordelia

[walks up to angel] So, we've heard from the socially handi-capable. What's your story?

Angel

Mad [stands] You're all mad. These clothes. Your speech. This place. What land is this?

Gunn

What land is it supposed to be?

Wesley

Yes, where do you hail from, friend?

Angel

I'm not your friend, you English pig. We never wanted you in Ireland. We don't want you now.

Wesley

Well, what's your name?

Angel

Liam [concerned, holds his throat again]

Cordelia

Great. We've all got names. [walks toward the door] Bye, now.

Lorne

In the meanwhile, guess what I'm doing for fun.

Gunn

I say we cut his head off.

Wesley

He may have information we need. When he wakes up—

Gunn

When he wakes up, we don't even know if this tape is gonna hold him. I say we cut his damn head off.

Wesley

Thank you very much, Marie Antionette.

Gunn

What'd you call me?

Cordelia

Hey! Hey, you two want to stop the homo-erotic buddy cop session long enough to explain this?

Angel

[hears the radio, and goes in the room to investigate] Minstrels.

Angel

How did—? You stopped the tiny men from singing.

Cordelia

You really are far from home, aren't you?

Angel

I'm invisible.

Cordelia

No you're not.

Cordelia

I'm just glad that everyone's safe and together again.

Angel

Me too. Now take your new boyfriend and get the hell out of here.

Cordelia

(whispers) Oh God!

Angel

Easy. . . Easy. . .

Cordelia

What are those? Holiday decorations left over from some. . . S&M bondage party?

Angel

(re: Angel sets off a bell and wooden spikes close together) Wood. Why did it have to be wood.

Wesley

We have to pass through the corridor without ringing any of the bells.

Cordelia

(sigh) (looks down at her chest) I knew you two would get me in trouble some day.

Cordelia

We just gotta find a way to bring back the sun.

Working on it. Failing miserably, but working on it.

[on monitor] Come on, Wes. Not like your schoolgirl crush is a secret.

Charles, remember, we can't believe anything Angelus says.

Gunn

How 'bout the stuff that's true? Can we believe that?

Cordelia

He distorts everything. He lies with the truth. It's part of what makes him so dangerous.

Lorne

Yeah, don't let him get to you, kiwi.

Gunn

He's not the only one that's gettin'.

Charles...

Gunn

I know. I know.

It's just words.

Wesley

[on monitor] You've found a vulnerability, exploited it. Well done. Can we move on now?

I'm just getting started.

Cordelia

You and I are gonna make a deal.

Tough. Did you practice that in front of the mirror a few times? Lemme guess. You want to know about the Beast.

Cordelia

Everything you know.

Oh. And in return, I get what? (paces) Wouldn't mind a car. I hear the new Mustang is nice.

Cordelia

Something better.

What's a better ride than a Mustang?

Cordelia

Me.

You?

Cordelia

That's the offer. No more stalling, no more games. You tell us what you know, you get me.

Must be some confusion. You took out the soul. Still have the brain.

Cordelia

Then use it. The Beast, the darkness,the world is falling apart. We're out of time, we're out of ideas. You're the end of the line.

Wes was better at buttering me up.

Cordelia

You know what it means to be a champion.

I'm trying so hard to forget.

Cordelia

Sometimes a sacrifice needs to be made.

And you're the little lamb. Not that there aren't a few things I wouldn't mind doing to that body. Other than the obvious.

Cordelia

Tell us about the Beast, and you can do whatever you want.

You're lying.

Cordelia

Look in my eyes. Angel knows me. You know me. Better than anyone. So, when you look at me, you know I'm not lying.

Here I thought you'd be halfway to Georgia by now.

Cordelia

I told you I'd be back. I'm back.

How'd the little field trip turn out? Priestesses still feisty?

Cordelia

We found a little boy, his sister, mom, dad, grandma. All dead.

Oh, God! I'm always missing the fun stuff.

Cordelia

The Beast butchered them.

So? Did you bring me back a souvenir? Maybe a stray baby toe? (chuckles, stands) Come on, Cordy. Where's your sense of humor?

Cordelia

Guess I lost it.

Well, don't blame me for our little debacle. I told you everything I know.

Cordelia

Too late.

And who's fault is that? Doesn't matter. I showed you mine. Now it's time to show me yours.

Cordelia

The deal was: you give us information, we save the world, you get me. Well, world not saved.

You're not thinking I'm just gonna let this go?

Cordelia

Not seeing a whole lot of other options. With the big steel cage and all.

Won't be in here forever.

Cordelia

'Bout another hour. Forgot to tell you the best part. We're putting your soul back.

Not gonna happen.

Cordelia

Oh, but it is. Just in time for the primo apocalypse that's coming. Too bad. I know how you love those.

Been looking forward to it all day. Still am.

Cordelia

Thing is, you're never coming back. Angel's going to make sure of that.

We'll see.

Cordelia

What you don't get, Angelus, is that you're nobody. Just a disease. And Angel can't wait to be rid of you.

I think I'll start with the twins. I just love a woman with nice ripe thighs.

Cordelia

Not even close.

The more you piss me off, the longer I'll keep you alive. Oh, something tells me she's a screamer.

Cordelia

OK, let's...

Cordelia

What?

Angel's soul. It's gone.

Lilah

You wanna kill the Beast and give his boss a run for his evil? The answer is downstairs in a cage. Set Angelus on it.

Cordelia

Do you know what Angelus would do if we let him out?

Lilah

Kill you all in a bloody shower of violence, but hey! Greater good!

Lilah

He's gonna kill us.

Cordelia

I know. (stabs Lilah to death) Why'd you think I let him out, you stupid bitch?

Angel

All this time it was you, wasn't it?

Cordelia

Took you long enough to figure it out. But nice turn with the Lorne bait. You know, there was a time I would've seen that one coming eons before it ever crossed your tiny little mind.

Angel

Because you're so clever.

Cordelia

On the scale of you to me? Pretty damn.