Easter quotes from American Gods

Easter

Come here, sweet Shadow. Allow me to impart some wisdom. There's far too many secret societies out there. They have no loyalty and no love. They range from barely competent to deeply dangerous.

You don't sound like one of us.

Easter

I'm not one of you.

Oh, yes you are. You're as forgotten and as unloved and unremembered as any of us.

Easter

I'm doing just fine. Happy Easter. Christ is Risen. Hello, boys!

Well, you were before these assholes were born. Until the day that Jesus Christ crawled out of his stinky old grave, folks would paint eggs with dandelions and paprika for her. To exchange as gifts at the first sign of Spring in her name: Ostara.

Easter

Oh, they still do. They still do! On my festival days they still feast on eggs and rabbit and candy and they do it in my name.

Serious question, my dear, I have no doubt that millions upon millions exchange tokens and observe the rituals of your festival all down to the hunting of hidden eggs, but does anybody pray in your name? Do they say it in worship? Well, they mouth your name but they have no idea what it means. None whatsoever. Same every Spring: you do all the work, he gets all the prayers.

Easter

What has gotten into you?!

I feel terrible about this...

Easter

[comforting him] No! No!

It's her day! You took it. You crucified her day! When they started following you, everybody else got burned, in your name! Happy fucking Easter!

Easter

You shut your mouth before I slap it off your goddamn face! [looks shocked at her own words] How dare you? How dare you? How dare you come into my home and uncork all over Jesus of Nazareth, and all the other Jesuses who died on the cross, and even the ones who didn't, how dare you?! These are kind, generous men and they've come to celebrate their day... my day.... goddammit, our day! And you come in here and disrespect them?! They are gods, for God's sake!

They're sons of. They're men who walk the streets. They shake hands, they take shits! What I'm doing here is of no concern to them. This is your day, love. Always has been, always will be.

Media

You feel you've been treated unfairly?

Easter

I feel misrepresented in the media.

Media

Put a pillow over that feeling and bear down until it stops kicking. St. Nick took the same deal you did. The only reason why you're relevant today is because Easter is a Christian holiday.