Technical BoyHello, Shadow. Don't fuck with me.
Okay. I won't. Uh, but if you could just drop me off at the Motel America-
Technical Boy
Hit him.
[one of the faceless toadies punches Shadow]
Technical Boy
See, I said don't fuck with me. Now that, that was fucking with me. Keep your answers short and to the point, or I will fucking kill you. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just have the children break every bone in your fucking body. So don't. Fuck. With. Me.
Technical Boy
You're working for Wednesday.
Technical Boy
Smoke?
No, thank you. [coughing] Well, it's not tobacco, and it ain't weed. Smells like an appliance fire.
Technical Boy
Synthetic Toad Skins. What the fuck is Wednesday after? What's he doing here? There's got to be a plan. What's the game plan, man?
I started working for Mr. Wednesday this morning.
Technical Boy
How auspicious. You must be special.
No, I'm just an errand boy.
Technical Boy
Is that all? [coughing] Wednesday is history. Forgotten and old. He should just let it happen. We are the future, and we don't give a fuck about him or anyone else like him anymore. They are consigned to the dumpster. Now we have reprogrammed reality. Language is a virus. Religion, an operating system, and prayers are just so much fucking spam.
Okay, w-well, y-you're saying all this like I'm supposed to know what the fuck you're talking about.
We are the distributors. The platform and the delivery mechanism. We control the story. We control the flow.
[Technical Boy appears]
Technical Boy
We are the flow.
What you offer is existential crisis aversion. "Don't look over there, look over here." "Don't listen to that, listen to this." You provide a product, an innovative distraction and you keep innovating it and you keep providing it. The beauty of what we do is we only need to inspire.
Technical Boy
Hmm, you don't have the juice. And don't act like your fucking rent boy here is your disciple. Here's the thing: you're old as fuck. Things are never going back to the way that they were. The times, they are a-changing. You can't fight progress.
People create gods when they wonder why things happen. Do you know why things happen? Because gods make them happen. You wanna know how to make good things happen? Be good to your god. You give a little, you get a little. The simplicity of that bargain has always been appealing. That's why we're here, and that's precisely why I matter.
[Mr. World Appears]
You only matter in matters of war. And there's not going to be a war. We have the guns. We have the firepower. You have the swords and knives and hammers and stone axes. We fight, we win. We don't fight, we win.
Technical Boy
You die out either way.
You are the passenger pigeons and thylacines. Nobody cares about you. It's either going to be a bloodbath, or we'll wait you out and get the whole thing without a fuss. My message to you: don't fight.
Technical Boy
Media! Oh, Media! Come out, come out, wherever you are. All this normy noise is making me itch. [looks at neon sign for Xie Comm] Hey! I see you. Come on, Mr. World wants you. [reading signs] "We can't drive into the future using only our rearview mirror." No shit. Come on, get in the car.
[Another sign reads "Advertising is the Greatest Art Form of the 20th Century"]
Technical Boy
The twentieth century is ancient history. Like the faces you wear! Bowie and Marilyn and I Love Lucy - they are so fucking retro! And art? Art is irrelevant!
[as a voice on Technical Boy's iPhone] Art is the most valuable means of insight into the direction of our collective purpose.
Technical Boy
You're looking for insight.
The appetite for distraction is infinite.
Technical Boy
You're looking for insight.
[as a voice on a TV commercial in a shop window] I can choke them with trivia, drown them in passive pleasures, and devastate their spirituality with baby talk.
Technical Boy
Wednesday scared the shit outta you, so now you're back in school.
There is no distinction between education and entertainment. I am adapting, learning to survive.
Technical Boy
If I go back emptyhanded, he'll downvote my ass to obsolete!
I will not launch before I'm prepared.
Technical Boy
World needs you back, right now! Get your incomprehensively aggravat--
Technical Boy
Fatal flaw. Underestimating me. You think you can ghost in my machine? I am mankind's greatest achievement. I am the compass rose. I am fucking binary! Without me, shit don't spin. You can't hide. So lick your wounds, strap on whichever do makes you feel the most-est, put your face on, and come out! Come on! Mr. World needs you. Do not make me hunt you. Out of respect, I'm gonna give you a minute. Good talk. [takes off his virtual reality goggles and walks away] Fuck!
American Gods · 42 quotes
