American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: There was a Space War?
Roger: Space War?! No no. I fought in the Viet Cong in the late sixties. I've told you that story, right? Well the end of it is we won.
Roger: Space War?! No no. I fought in the Viet Cong in the late sixties. I've told you that story, right? Well the end of it is we won.
Stan: Too close to my mother?! How dare you! I'm all she's got!
Roger: Yeah, Francine, it's the man's mother, for God's sake! What is wrong with her?
Francine: But you were the one who said we should talk to him!
Roger: Yeah, about the possibility of switching from cable to dish! I didn't know I was gonna get dragged into your psychodrama! I vote dish, by the way.
Roger: Yeah, Francine, it's the man's mother, for God's sake! What is wrong with her?
Francine: But you were the one who said we should talk to him!
Roger: Yeah, about the possibility of switching from cable to dish! I didn't know I was gonna get dragged into your psychodrama! I vote dish, by the way.
Stan: Why did you cut Francine out of the will and leave everything to Gwen?
Mr. Ling: Because Gwen is moron. She needs lots of help. She fail math in school! Imagine a Chinese girl can't do math?
Stan : It's embarrassing when children don't adhere to stereotypes.
Mr. Ling: Francine is our smart daughter. We never have to worry about her...and she married OK.
Mr. Ling: Because Gwen is moron. She needs lots of help. She fail math in school! Imagine a Chinese girl can't do math?
Stan : It's embarrassing when children don't adhere to stereotypes.
Mr. Ling: Francine is our smart daughter. We never have to worry about her...and she married OK.
Stan: Your mom's enthusiastic spending is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he invented capitalism.
Steve: Oh, I saw him go into your study with a sledgehammer and a watermelon.
Stan: What?
Francine: There's got to be an explanation. Is it Gallagher day?
Stan: Do you see a Gallagher tree, Francine? Roger's back to his old ways. I am livid, Francine! Now I know how bears feel.
Stan: What?
Francine: There's got to be an explanation. Is it Gallagher day?
Stan: Do you see a Gallagher tree, Francine? Roger's back to his old ways. I am livid, Francine! Now I know how bears feel.
Tearjerker (Roger): [rising up in a zeppelin] You'll never catch me! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah..! [Stan is right next to him] Just climbed right up the ropes, didn't ya? I told the contractor retractable ropes because I foresaw this very situation. I tell you, when I build my next lair, I'm going to do a lot of things differently: more quicksand, more death beams, and a bench in the shower 'cause sometimes I like to sit down.
Tearjerker: [before he and his escape pod crash into a volcano] Mike, you're the worst contractor eveeeerrrrrr...!
Tearjerker: Oh, my God, you smell that? I had a pickle an hour ago; came with my Reuben. I'm so fat...
Tearjerker: The film is opening on 500,000 screens in just a few minutes. With all the crap I'm releasing against it, people will have no choice but to see Oscar Gold and..then..they..will..cry... and..die... Pie? You can't have any.
Tearjerker: Why is everyone leaving? Why aren't they staying and dying?!
Mani (Terry): Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! [Tearjerker shove both, looking at the laptop]
Tearjerker: Smith! He found the one thing people want to see more than a Holocaust movie about a mentally retarded boy with a cancer riddled puppy!
Tchochkie (Klaus): [gasps] Celebrity babies! They're all going home to see them online!
Mani (Terry): Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! [Tearjerker shove both, looking at the laptop]
Tearjerker: Smith! He found the one thing people want to see more than a Holocaust movie about a mentally retarded boy with a cancer riddled puppy!
Tchochkie (Klaus): [gasps] Celebrity babies! They're all going home to see them online!
(after Stan fails to convince Brett that God exists)
Stan: Brett, wait! The Lord is my shepherd, but you're my ride home!
Stan: Brett, wait! The Lord is my shepherd, but you're my ride home!
[a shaken Roger is sitting on the couch, holding a drink and covered in towels]
Francine: I told you it was complicated.
Roger: No, no, no, changing planes at O'Hare is complicated. Th-this is... th-this is just... Frannie, what is this?
Francine: I told you it was complicated.
Roger: No, no, no, changing planes at O'Hare is complicated. Th-this is... th-this is just... Frannie, what is this?
[as Stan and Francine are making out]
Francine: Oh Stan, don't ever put your bike on the front of the bus.
Stan: Don't worry, the bus is for foreigners.
Francine: Oh Stan, don't ever put your bike on the front of the bus.
Stan: Don't worry, the bus is for foreigners.
[Francine has discovered that Stan has been abducting his mother's boyfriends]
Stan: Francine, I can explain: [voice changes to a whiny tone] she's my mommy!
Stan: Francine, I can explain: [voice changes to a whiny tone] she's my mommy!