American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesPrincipal Lewis: Smith! What's the meaning of this?!
Steve Smith: Principal Lewis, I am taking your office. Pursuant to Pearl Bailey High Statuette 39-F, quote, "The Student Body President can acquisition any room on school premises for the purpose of conducting school business."
Principal Lewis: You can read! The school system works! [dejectedly] I'll be back for my stuff.
Steve Smith: Principal Lewis, I am taking your office. Pursuant to Pearl Bailey High Statuette 39-F, quote, "The Student Body President can acquisition any room on school premises for the purpose of conducting school business."
Principal Lewis: You can read! The school system works! [dejectedly] I'll be back for my stuff.
Roger Smith: By the way, Hayley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles, Hayley, oh my God, these Chocodiles!
Roger Smith: Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! And don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing because that's a giant load of crap!
Roger: Oh, and uh, what happens in Saudi Arabia, stays in Saudi Arabia. Ok, seriously.
Roger [after Klaus reveals Roger's secret to producing more milk]: Why, Klaus? Why?!
Klaus: Ja. Still German.
Klaus: Ja. Still German.
Roger: [after being thought dead and being thrown in a dumpster] Can't a guy go into a stress induced hibernation without getting thrown in the trash?
Roger: [after knocking out two girls with a frying pan] Did you see where they went?
Steve: Who?
Roger: The black guys who did this.
Steve: Who?
Roger: The black guys who did this.
Roger: [after spraying Mace in the face of an ugly girl screaming and falling down on the floor] I know, I know, bad for the ozone
Roger: [sarcastically as he goes on a delivery with Mitch] Oh, this is gonna be life changing.
[cut to Roger and Mitch exiting the house; this time]
Roger: [wide-eyed] That was totally life changing!
[cut to Roger and Mitch exiting the house; this time]
Roger: [wide-eyed] That was totally life changing!
Roger: [talking to his cookie] Shush...don't speak. I'll go get some milk for your bath
Roger: Does this furniture polish have alcohol in it? [drinks bottle] Hmm, tastes like I might die.
Roger: Hey, Hayley, got a minute?
Hayley: Roger? You're alive? Or is this like an episode of the Twilight Zone where I talk to you from beyond the grave but only with terrible ironic results?
Roger: Oh, right, it's after 12:00, you're already high. Let me talk to the fish.
Hayley: Roger? You're alive? Or is this like an episode of the Twilight Zone where I talk to you from beyond the grave but only with terrible ironic results?
Roger: Oh, right, it's after 12:00, you're already high. Let me talk to the fish.
Roger: Hey, with this mortar launcher, we can get back at the kid who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye!
Steve: Oh, I wish I could get back at him. I'm gonna dress up as a girl and get him to have sex with me and then say "Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy that hates you!"
Roger: Yes, let's leave that plan between you, me, and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.
Steve: Oh, I wish I could get back at him. I'm gonna dress up as a girl and get him to have sex with me and then say "Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy that hates you!"
Roger: Yes, let's leave that plan between you, me, and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.
Roger: Stan might be an insensitive feelings-hurter, but he'd never cheat on you.
Francine: It's not Stan I'm worried about. It's the female "entertainment" I don't trust. Men throw a little cash out 'em, they'll do anything. Then sometimes when you're on the floor with another girl, guys'll throw money, then pick it up and throw the same singles out there again. Like I'm an idiot. Like I don't have peripheral vision!
[awkward pause]
Francine: It's not Stan I'm worried about. It's the female "entertainment" I don't trust. Men throw a little cash out 'em, they'll do anything. Then sometimes when you're on the floor with another girl, guys'll throw money, then pick it up and throw the same singles out there again. Like I'm an idiot. Like I don't have peripheral vision!
[awkward pause]