Ava Allswell quotes from All That

[a reporter for KNCK; played by Green] "A serious crime took place here and we need answers. Um, now…police say the statue was defaced between the hours of 4 and 5 AM. You were awake?"

"Oh, I don’t follow a traditional sleep schedule. I take thousands of 1-second-long naps all throughout the day. In fact, I’ve already taken 14 naps since we started this interview…15!"

"Tammy…you were the only person who saw what happened here today, and you’re giving us nothing but useless information about yourself!"

"Oh, I’m happy to tell you whatever information you want about myself. A witch cursed my uncle, and now he’s my goldfish."

"Tammy…"

"I once sneezed so hard, milkshake came out of my ears!
"

"Mmmm, strawberry. Or peanut butter. I can’t tell. I lost my taste buds in a bowling accident."

"Tammy!"

(a reporter, played by Gabrielle Nevaeh Green, who is interviewing a girl named Tammy TMI, regarding the vandalization of the statue of W. D. Ford, the founder of the city; Tammy has a tendency to overshare information about herself) "Can you tell us your name?"

"My name is Tammy, but most people call me by my middle name."

"And what's that?"

"Tammy..."

"Police say the statue was defaced between the hours of 4 and 5 AM. You were awake?"

"Oh, I don't follow a traditional sleep schedule. I take thousands of one-second-long naps all throughout the day. In fact, I've already taken 14 naps since we started this interview...15!"

"Can you please just tell us what the vandal looked like?"

"Wish I could. I have this condition called short-term facial memory loss; I forget a face almost immediately after I see it. Have we met? I'm Tammy."