I don't think I'm going to like him looking at me with them big, sad eyes.
They aren't real eyes, Edith, them there are glass eyes.
That wasn't fair of Barney Hefner shooting a blind animal!
S4Mike's Graduation
MMike
(to Gloria, about Archie) And he keeps saying the same thing to me every time I knock on the door. He says, "Don't knock, give it a Polack ring. So I say, "What's a Polack ring?" He says, "A dumb bell."
S5The Bunkers and Inflation (Part 1)
The country's got to produce more goods. Then we've got to have a little more unemployment. So when we have more goods to buy, and less people who can afford to buy the goods, then the prices will come down.
Mike: That is the stupidest damn thing you've ever said.
Swearing's just the sign of a small mind.
Archie: Aw, shut the hell up.
Respect is for the dead. The living need dough.
MMunson
(to Edith) Twenty-six years with Archie. You sure did some woman a big favor.
Mike, would you please pass these sandwiches around?
Archie: No, no, no. That's like asking the elephant to pass the peanuts.
(to Archie) I'm talking about your unions asking for higher wages. It's bad for the country.
Lionel: If it's bad for the country, how come you raised the prices in the cleaning store?
Archie: He done that?
Lionel: He did on the white clothes.
George: You know something, Lionel? You're the reason we never had a second child.
When a guy asks a girl to get married, that's the highest compliment he can pay.
Louise: And it's usually the last one, too.
S5The Bunkers and Inflation (Part 2)
(to Irene on the phone) Remember that song that had you in it?... That's right, good night, Irene!
If you were to come in here, fresh off of the street, applying for the job of my son-in-law, I wouldn't hire you.
Mike: And if I knew you came with the job, I wouldn't take it.
Edith, you done good! Your heart was in the right place. But your brain was out to lunch.
S5Edith the Job Hunter
You don't think this dress looks too revealing? I don't think I should look too sexy.
Mike: Don't worry Ma, you never do.
If a woman don't have no experience, then she should stick to unskilled labor, like being a wife.
Edith: But that don't pay nothing.
Archie: But it ain't supposed to pay nothing, Edith. You're supposed to be satisfied with the, what do you call it, unseen rewards.
Edith: How would you like an unseen dinner?
Edith, with you, a "surprise" could be anything from a runaway horse to a Puerto Rican.
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