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S3 E11

ALF · Season 3, Episode 11

“Do You Believe in Magic?” quotes from ALF

5 quotes

“Do You Believe in Magic?” · Season 3, Episode 11

In this episode: ALF (4), Brian Tanner (4), Willie Tanner (3), Kate Tanner (2), Lynn Tanner (1)

[ALF and Brian are preparing to do a magic trick using Kate's hat]

What are you guys doing?

It's a magic trick we just saw on TV.

It's called "The Two-Layer Pineapple Surprise Cake in a Sun Hat" trick.

With mom's sun hat?

We couldn't find Willie's. And now, without further ado, a pinch of yeast and 2 eggs. [puts the eggs inside Kate's hat] 1, 2.

Does mom know you're using her sun hat?

Silence, please! Will the young man with the freckles and the overbite please mix the ingredients.

She doesn't know, does she?

I'm running this trick on a need-to-know basis.

Is it done?

Perfect! Now cover the hat with the plate as I say the magic words. [Brian covers Kate's hat with a plate] Hacus pacus. Betty Crock-us. [Kate comes in the kitchen] Ta-da! Ladies and gentlemen. ALF's magical 2-layer pineapple surprise, [Brian wants to show the ALF's trick but fails to work leaving Kate's hat ruined and messy] soup.

[Willie and ALF fight over the saw]

You are not going to saw our son!

Yes, I am!

You are not!

[Willie takes the saw away]

But I'm ready for big time. How long does a guy have to toil in kiddie tricks?

Maybe until he completes 1 or 2 of them successfully.

Maybe he doesn't stand a chance. When all the diagrams favored 5 flavored magicians.

Maybe he's gotten into something a little over his head.

Maybe at 3 foot 2, everything he gets into is over his head.

[ALF comes up with a trick to make Brian disappear as Brian sits inside the box]

Okay, remember how we saw it on TV? You close the curtain and you spin the box around 3 times.

Ixnay on the spinning. If you puke in that box it can't be returned. [closes the curtain] You alright in there?

It's alright!

Thank you, Junior Wences. I'll say the magic words. Alakazoo, alakazam. I'll show you what a hack I am. [he makes Brian disappear] Brian? Yo, B, you in there? Yes! Yes! I came, I saw I demolecularized. I can do magic! Uh-oh, now I'll make you reappear, B. Um. Uh, abracadabra, alakazam, I'm a better magician than I thought I am! [he thinks a rabbit appear in the box] Uh-oh. A glitch in the finale. Uh, alakazam. Oh, no. Uh, I vaporized the boy. Kate and Willie will not be pleased. Especially since Willie told me not to do any more tricks. Oh, wait a minute. I smell a conspiracy here. I also smell 8 rabbits cooped up in a garage. [he gets grossed out by 8 rabbits]

[returns back home after hiding in the car by ALF] Hi, ALF.

How did you do that? You didn't even move your little rabbit lips.

Rabbit lips?

Brian, you're not a rabbit!

[as he and Kate found him] Oh, Brian!

Hi, dad.

Where have you been?

I was hiding in the car. But I got hungry.

Why were you hiding in the car?

I wanted ALF to think he made me disappear so he wouldn't think he's a bad magician.

Oh! Oh, honey. It was nice of you not to want ALF to feel bad but we were very, very worried about you.

Yeah! I thought I turned you into a rabbit.

Sorry, mom, dad. Sorry, ALF. I guess I messed up the trick.

That's okay, Bri. Now you can clean up your own pellets.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's ALF pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.