Honey, would you like some breakfast?
No, I'll just have this cinnamon roll.
Sorry, we're out. [he takes the cinnamon roll away but Willie grabs it off his hand]
“Movin' Out” · Season 2, Episode 21
In this episode: ALF (5), Willie Tanner (4), Kate Tanner (3), Lynn Tanner (1), Brian Tanner (1)
[ALF is in Kate and Willie's bed eating crackers]
I don't believe you're eating crackers in bed.
I know. It's such a clich? Could you "hoover" the crumbs out of my fur?
I want every single crumb out of this bed. Including you.
I know you're upset about Willie, but he'll be home soon. I won't leave this bed, until he is.
[comes in] Hi.
Rats!
Just what I wanted to see in my bed.
Thanks. Cracker?
It's 11pm. What happened?
I'm sorry, Kate. I got in a big tie-up on the on the,
Freeway.
Freeway. I suppose you've discussed the crackers in bed.
We were just discussing that, when you came in.
Yes, your arrival was most fortuitous.
Not that it matters, I'm so tired that I could sleep on broken glass.
Then you might want to sleep by the China cabinet.
[picks up the phone] Hi, Brian?
Hi, daddy!
I'm very busy.
What are you doing?
I'm assigning parking spaces.
I thought you were a social worker.
I'm very busy ALF. I can't talk now.
Put me on hold. I'll listen to the Muzak.
Goodbye, ALF.
Oh, ALF.
[pops up] Could you get those two back in here? They didn't even check the bathroom. I loosened every third tile.
This is not the worst thing you've ever done. This is the 15th worst thing you've ever done.
What was number 9?
What possible reason could you have had for this?
Nobody wants to move, including you.
How do you know that?
Because you're a social worker.
What's that got to do with anything-
Follow me, Willie. I'm trying to be linear. Well, one could define social worker as a person who performs work for the social good, couldn't one?
Yes.
Well, then how come all you're doing is playing musical parking spaces and firing guys?
You know, I also have to find a shortstop for the office softball team.
Just tell me this. Why are we moving out of a house we do like so you can keep a job you don't like?
I don't know.
I win.
[comes in her and Willie's room] ALF, how could you-
No, no, hold-hold on, Kate. Before we give ALF the 15th worst scolding he's ever had I think there's something you ought to know. [Brian and Lynn come in Willie and Kate's room] Brian, Lynn, Kate, how would you all feel if I asked for my old job back and we just stayed in this house?
Yay!
Oh, do you mean it, dad?
Of course, umm, I-I'm not gonna have that raise, you know?
Forget it, we'll move. Sorry. A momentary attack of shallowness. I'm over it.
Well, honey, y-you worked so hard for this promotion. What made you change your mind?
Actually, it was ALF who convinced me we'd all be happier if we stayed right here.
Oh! Although, instead of destroying the house, why didn't we just talk about it? That was plan B.
[pops his head out from the basement] Hey, great. Now we've got a furnished basement. Whoa, I am outta here! [he heads down to the basement as Kate and Willie are shocked as the episode ends]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's ALF pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.