[ALF is reading a magazine as Kate and Brian come home]
Hey, Kate, guess what I am?
Is it something that begins with "couch", and ends with "potato"?
Cheap shot, Kate-man-du. I'm a type T personality.
Okay ALF, what is a type T personality?
According to this article, a type T is a thrill-seeker. Someone who looks for danger, who laughs in the face of death. [laughs]
This from the same person who watched the movie Aliens from under the couch?
Hey, I thought I owed one of those guys money.
Well, do you enjoy hang gliding off cliffs into rock-filled gorges?
Well let's find out. What do you say we jump off the roof. You land feet-first, you're a wimp.
No one is jumping off the roof.
Hey Kate, let me know when you let your son act like a man. Ah! Paper cut! Paper cut!
[Willie comes to the garage while ALF is looking at a train model]
Hey Willie? Is this the kind of train you used to hop?
Well, the others were bigger, of course, and they didn't run around in circles. But basically, Yeah.
Well, here's what I'd do, you see. I'd case the yard, I'd hide in a bush and wait until dark and when I saw my train was pulling out, I'd just go make a run for it.
Wow. Well did it ever get so dark, you jumped on the wrong thing? Like a bus or parade?
Ask sensible questions, ALF.
Okay. Which one is the kitchen car?
There wasn't any kitchen car. I sat in a box car. I ate beans out of a can. That's how I got my traveling name.
Wow. What a cool name! Hey can I have your autograph?
[Kate and Brian come to the garage]
Willie, are you sure you don't want to go to my mother's with us?
If dad doesn't have to go, why do I?
Because you're my son, and I can tell you what to do.
Oh, it's my autograph. ALF wanted it.
Well we'll be back in a couple hours. Now don't get into any trouble.
Don't worry about Willie. I'll keep an eye on him.
I know. I was being playful.
Now's our chance. Let's go down to the train yard.
No, we're not hopping any train.
I'm not talking about riding the rails. I just want to see them. Please, Willie. Pleeeease?
No, we can't. Really ALF, we can't.
Alright, tell me when this gets annoying. Yeah, yeah, you hopped a freight train, sure. Oh right. Yeah, yeah. I almost believed that. Uh huh, yeah, yeah. Look at Mr. Excitement.
Forget it, ALF. It's not working.
Okay, I'll try something else. Willie, please take me to see the trains. I haven't had an adventure in a long time. All right, maybe this will work. Willie, I'm dying. [coughs] I've only got twenty four hours to live. Twenty five, tops.
I bought the second thing you said.
Oh. Well what was it? I might want to use it again sometime.
Come on. Bring a sweater.
[ALF and Willie are at a train yard]
Boy, there's nothing like a train yard at night.
Yeah, it is peaceful. [a train whistle blows] Aaaah! What's that thing?
It makes the one you have look like a toy.
That's really something, isn't it? You know that engine alone weighs over seventy-five tons? Do you know what would happen if I put a penny on that track?
The train would de-rail and all the bums would spill their beans.
Willie, pennies are already flat.
YGYard Guard
Hey, who's out there?
You mean that guy with the seeing-eye dog? Huh, big deal!
That's no seeing-eye dog. That's a doberman pincher.
Yikes! Don't let him pinch me!
YGYard Guard
Hey, get away from that train!
Run, boxcar, run! [Willie jumps into the boxcar] All aboard! Hey, I always wanted to say that.
And you got yours, too. We're riding the rails, Willie. Ain't it grand!
No, it ain't! Now the train's going too fast! We can't get off!
You're acting like this is all my fault.
I was hoping we could share.
