Willie, big news, the Alfer's won a contest.
Yeah, oh, let's see. You won a copy of Cat Lovers Monthly?
Yeah, kinda a let down, no recipes.
I entered that publisher's sweepstakes thing. I licked all those magazine stamps, and stuck them on my entry.
You sent in all those stamps?
Well, all except redbook. It's still stuck to the roof of my mouth.
Just how many magazines did you win?
Check the front porch. [Willie opens the door] Oops.
ALF! You didn't win a contest, you subscribed to hundreds of magazines!
Oh, well, that explains this personal thank-you note from Ed McMahon.
Well here's your cappuccino.
Where's the grated cheese?
[while seeing Willie and Kate come home with groceries] Willie, Kate, I have something to tell you. This time the old ALFers really want something.
What now? 11 records for a penny?
No, this time the ALFer's one stuff for everybody. Pony rides for Bryan. Tennis lessons for Lynn. Dinner and dancing for you two and best of all for the old ALFer a toaster. I guess you didn't hear me. A TOASTER!
Did I mention that the toaster talks.
Oh, ALF, this is just a real estate promotion a free toaster for listening to a sales pitch about to vacation homes.
There may be a pony ride, but there's also a 7-hour car ride to get to this place. I'm not driving 7 hours. Sorry, ALF.
[the doorbell rings]
[the Tanners arrive at their hotel room]
Willie, this place is really nice. I'm kind of surprised.
Me, too. The hotel is great. I keep looking for the catch.
B Bill
[comes in the room] Hello, you must be the Tanners, I'm Bill Lowman, sales manager for Rancho Estates.
B Bill
No, no, Mr. Tanner. You were expecting the hard sell. And there is no need to worry about that.
B Bill
Because after you see this slideshow, you will be begging me to sell you a home. [opens the cabinet and plays the video on TV]
Would it be okay if we look at this later?
B Bill
Oh, absolutely. No problem. You know you folks should first enjoy some tennis some swimming and some fishing. And if you need me, I'll be following you in a golf cart. [he leaves]
You know, we expected a sales pitch. That's no reason why we still can't enjoy ourselves. [opens the door and gets shocked when he sees ALF] ALF!
[the Tanner family gets very shocked of seeing ALF being in the trip]
Let's clear this off. Are you or are you not happy to see me?
I stood away, in Kate's suitcase.
Oh, no. Now, I'll have my hair all over your clothes.
Take it easy, your clothes are hair free and hanging neatly in the closet back home.
What am I suppose to wear here?
Well, I love what you've got on now. Perfect for every occasion.
ALF, we trusted you to stay out of trouble.
I trusted you to get my toaster but I don't see it anywhere let alone hear it but the fact is I felt neglected. I'm a member of this family too you know. I just wanted to be with the people I love. And get that toaster.
[knocking on the door] Hey Tanner, guess what! We have adjoining rooms! Open up!
Brian, quick, you better hide ALF in the bedroom.
Alright, but don't start that slideshow without me.
Hey, Tanner, you didn't eat a thing. You still worried about your room?
[ALF walks outside]
[ALF gets a fire extinguisher]
Yes, it was! [leaves the restaurant and stops ALF]
I warned him about that Mexican food.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's ALF pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
