A character in Abbott Elementary
Played by Tyler James Williams
Abbott Elementary · 136 quotes
5th most-quoted character in Abbott Elementary: in 30 of its 136 quotes
Most scenes with: Janine Teagues (19), Melissa Schemmenti (13), Ava Coleman (10)
I know. I was like, "Mm!"
You don't have to make a decision. Well?
GregoryWell, what?
What's with the hat?
GregoryOh, this? It's nothing.
It's the loudest nothing I ever saw.
Boy, you just can't mosey in here with a brand-new hat and act like you're not wearing brand-new hat.
Here it is. Item number seven of next week's school board meeting. "A proposal to transition Abbott Elementary into a Legendary Charter School for the 2023-24 school year."
Times New Roman, the most decisive of the fonts.
Well, I guess that's it. Draemond goes to the school board, we become a charter.
This is horrible. I can't be a charter teacher. I-I don't have the wardrobe for it.
GregorySchool district's gonna hang us out to dry yet again. Can't we call the teacher's union or something?
All they can do is help us find a job at another public.
Hey.
GregoryHey.
Ugh! Disgusting.
Alright. Wow, we're just not biting our tongues anymore? This is vintage.
Okay, no. There's a green bubble on the group chat.
GregoryI have an iPhone, but I left the group chat after Mr. Johnson started that soup thread.
Uh, it's me, okay? I-I got a new phone. A droid.
Wait, there's a group chat?
GregoryHuh?
Wait, wait, wait. So, for clarity, you don't think you were being selfish?
No.
Oh, so it's normal for you to invite a guy to his favorite barbecue restaurant just to break up with him in front of his friend who you kissed but didn't actually date?
I didn't think of it that way.
Yeah. It stung a little bit, but it's all good. I, too, become selfish sometimes. For example, I'm ghosting this girl right now. You know, she thinks I'm dead, but this convo, it inspired me to reach out to her, send her a text. I wouldn't want to hurt her.
They're not all bad.
I think they're cool.
Mnh.
GregoryI actually like them this year.
Shocking.
I don't know. I feel like they've been unequivocally and universally worse than they've ever been. From unhelpful to unbearable.
Good morning, Abbott Elementary!
Ava! Your needed in the gym!
Yeah, there's a bunch of teachers in there saying Princeton's better than Harvard.
OH HELL NO!
[Ava runs out of the office.]
Okay, we have like two minutes so can you please fill us in on the rest of this genius plan?
Ava said she stopped listening to the Town Women.
GregoryCity Girls.
But I know there's one song she cannot resist. Jacob, whip out the Walkman.
Phone.
Open up Napster.
Spotify.
Jesus, close your ears. Come on.
[Ava runs into the gym.]
Princeton is the Temple University of the Ivies!
Now Mr. Johnson!
Let go of your butts!
[The lights turn on and Juvenile's "Back That Azz Up" starts playing with Ava dancing]
Mm.
Melissa and Captain Robinson: Childhood.
Nah, but this is a real problem.
GregoryMm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Where did you even get a cigarette?
Yeah, what you, a French child?
The guy around the corner sold it to me for a dollar.
A dollar? Inflation is crazy. But you are in big trouble, because cigarettes are banned.
Not on any of the signs I saw.
What?
GregoryYou know, we make a really good team.
Yeah, we do.
The Deli across the street is being turned into a freaking smoothie shop.
GregoryWhich one. Smoothin' on up? Unblended knee. It's not fruit groups, is it?
He knows so many different smoothie shops.
Nope, It's gonna be a fruit, there it is.
I hate bosses. That’s why I became a principal, so I don’t have any.
GregoryYou have bosses.
Point to them.
Can we glue some jelly beans on it?
GregoryWell, how many times have you seen jelly beans on a volcano?
I've never seen a volcano.
Neither have I, but I'm pretty sure there's no jelly beans on them.
What's wrong, Gregory?
GregoryI'm not sure, but you're trying to kick at my guy.
I don't know. It's an ordinary day to me, Playboy.
GregoryWe're kidding.
Yeah. We know, it's Valentine's Day!
Didn't buy tickets. Don't want to see the show.
Alright, class, can anybody tell me what number we are celebrating tomorrow?
(together) 100.
That's right. We will be celebrating 100 days of school. The 100th day of school is a big to-do nowadays. In order to beat the "when is summer break" blues, the students dress up as 100-year-olds and have a parade.
GregoryIt's a less scary Halloween.
Now, 100 pennies is a...
(together) Dollar.
GregoryThe Please Touch Museum is for babies.
What?! No way.
It's like Disney World but for kids.
Mr. Johnson loves it. He's decided to come with us.
I don't wanna go there, it's for babies.
So, what are everybody's Halloween plans?
Just the usual.
Trick or treating?
GregoryWe're too old for that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Abbott Elementary pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
