You fool! Why? What were you thinking, Yusuke? No one gave you permission to die! You got hit by a car, strong people live through that! Were you mad at me, Yusuke, were you mad? Didn't I raise you good enough?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I just had the strangest dream about Yusuke. Yusuke was living in some other world full of ogres and he kept knocking them down until he became their leader. Sounds like him, doesn't it?
This dream your mother had seems to give her comfort, and Keiko doesn't want to take that from her.
Well, while she's being comforted, I'm gonna be a barbecue!
[yelling at Botan and pointing at Kuwabara] You can forget it, Botan! There is no way I'm taking control of that lamebrain!
Here's my impression of Yusuke: 'Look at me, I'm burning!'
[after beating up some thugs while possessing Kuwabara's body] Darn, I'm giving Kuwabara a good name.
[while possessing Kuwabara's body] Pull it together, Yusuke! You found her, but now you've gotta convince her quick that you're not just some ugly weird guy with bruises on his face! No time, no time...okay, I've known her all my life. There's got to be something between us that only I would do! [realizes what needs to be done] Yeah!
[Yusuke, still in possession of Kuwabara's body, sneaks up behind Keiko]
Keiko! Nice uniform! [grabs her breasts from behind] They're so squishy!
Yusuke you jerk! [slaps Yusuke]
Whether or not I believe isn't the question. I knew it was you from the first time you spoke! I know! And it's not just your stupid gags or how you laugh. There's ways you move and speak that in a hundred years I wouldn't forget!
[while possessing Kuwabara's body] I know I've been a bum to you at times, but please wait for me!
I will! I'd wait forever, Yusuke!
Atsuko! Please, open the door!
[Yusuke's mother opens the door, dressed in a black kimono]
Atsuko! I have to tell you about Yusuke! He...he might be coming back!
He already has.
Huh?
I opened his coffin again because, well, I was going to smack him one more time for leaving me, but then I saw...Yusuke's cheeks have some color! His skin is slightly warm! His heart is beating. It's slow, but...my boy's alive!
[addressing Kuwabara and his gang] Mm-hmm! As far as causing trouble's concerned, you boys keep topping yourselves! Attacking a trio of older boys from Kazenaga Junior High who, according to their mothers, were quite harmless! [slamming his hand down on the desk] Unacceptable! Here at Sarayashiki Junior High we have a thing called accountability!
[after Akashi tells them that they cannot fight for one full week or Okubo will lose his part-time job] Can you make it shorter? How about two hours? [is pushed back by Kuwabara] That seems fair, right?
If you want one week, then you got it!
KKirishima
But can you do that, Kuwabara?
Three hours! Ask for three!
I don't know which boost to the school's reputation I like best: kicking out Kuwabara or having Yusuke die on his own!
I always said those teachers were out to get me! I'm surprised they didn't run me over themselves!
Kuwabara's so loyal to his friends; I'll have to make a note.
[mocking Botan] Oh yes, he's so brave. [normally] You just wait, Botan. This little promise of his won't last for long.
You don't think that Kuwabara--
Huh?
[the pair see Akashi trailing Kuwabara on his way home]
Those boys should be arriving any minute now.
Mr. Akashi? Gee, doesn't this guy have a life besides tormenting kids?
[the three punks from Kazenaga accost Kuwabara]
KPKazenaga Punk 1
Kuwabara, we've been waiting!
Now's really not the time! [starts running away]
KPKazenaga Punk 1
What is this, Kuwabara? Are you actually running away like a sissy?
[stopping and turning to face them] Oh, no. I'm not goin' anywhere!
KPKazenaga Punk 2
He does have the guts to face us without his slave boys!
KPKazenaga Punk 1
Especially with the ass-kicking we're about to give him!
[running back over to them] Talk all you want! Let's see what you can do!
See? What'd I tell ya?
Hmm...
[laughing] It couldn't be more perfect!
But I'm not gonna fight back, so you just hit me as much as you're gonna and let me get out of here!
YAYusuke and Akashi
What did he say?!
[admiringly] He's so cool!
[the three thugs from Kazenaga clobber Kuwabara without resistance]
Kuwabara! Are those new bruises today?
I got piled on by those guys you said were harmless, but I didn't touch 'em!
I'm so impressed. But I talked to some of the other teachers yesterday about our arrangement, and they said I was too easy on you.
KKKuwabara, Komada, Kirishima and Okubo
What?!
I was just as surprised as you are, but they were convinced! So, in addition to not fighting, you must all score fifty percent or higher on the Physical Science test!
Hey! You can't just keep adding conditions!
I'm afraid I just did...and if one of you fails, Okubo's job goes out the window. [walks away]
KKirishima
[scoffing] Please! We can pass that test easy if we study a little! I got, like, a forty-five on my last Physical Science test!
No worries here; I scored a fifty-seven. How 'bout you, Okubo?
Yeah, I got a thirty-nine, so if I try a little harder I'll be good. We're gonna be okay, right Kuwabara? What did you get?
I got a...A SEVEN!
[the other boys fall over in shock]
Well what do you know, Kuwabara is stupider than I am!
What did you make on your last test?
[proudly] I got a twelve.
[perched on the back of Kuwabara's chair] It's a good thing I came over to check on him; he's fallen asleep in the final inning! [gently shaking him] Hey, Kuwabara! Kuwabara! Wake up and study, doofus! Your test is tomorrow! Ah, seems he's out for good...guess I'll have to show up in his dream.
[inside Kuwabara's dream]
[seeing Yusuke] Urameshi! You've come back for a fight, huh? Well, I'm gonna make cat food out of you!
Hey, whoa whoa whoa whoa! [picking up Kuwabara's textbook] You've gotta pass this test first!
[yanking the book out of Yusuke's hands] Gimme! I was just studying this before you showed up.
[time passes, and Yusuke is holding the book now, quizzing Kuwabara]
Why is the color of blood red?
Because of all the red blood cells! They color it. That's easy.
But what's the pigment?
Hemoglobin! I forgot!
[outside Kuwabara's dream]
And what causes your blood to clot?
[mumbling in his sleep] Plate...lets...
[nodding] Yes...good, good.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's YuYu Hakusho pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.