Joey Wheeler quotes from Yu-Gi-Oh!

Tristan

Yeah, brilliant, putting the rod in the hole and pulling really hard.

Joey

Say what!?

Tristan

Say nothing! [he and Joey argue]

Knock it off, guys, or I won't share my hospital food with you.

Joey

We'll be good.

Tristan Taylor

Joey, we're on mop duty. What are you so happy about anyway?

Joey Wheeler

Well, my sister Serenity's finally getting an eye operation, and it's all thanks to the 3 million bucks that Yugi won at Duelist Kingdom. She's gonna get her sight back again!

Tristan Taylor

That's sweet! So when do we visit?

Joey Wheeler

It's not that easy. My mom's gonna be there. And every since Serenity and I were separated as kids, my mom and I haven't seen eye to eye.

Tristan Taylor

[yanks Joey by the neck with his arm] She won't go without you. My only concern is whether or not Serenity likes me.

Joey Wheeler

Don't get any funny ideas.

Tristan Taylor

Tell me which hospital she's in and I'll go visit sweet Serenity alone. You'd be a third wheel.

Joey Wheeler

[frustrated] Tristan! I'll send you to the hospital! [puts Tristan in a leg-lock]

Joey Wheeler

Speakin' of brains, I almost let that Duel Disk distract me from checking on my little sister. [dials the phone and the phone picks up the signal]

Tristan Taylor

[picks up the phone] Hello. Serenity Wheeler's room.

Joey Wheeler

[stunned] WHAT?! Tristan, is that you?!

Tristan Taylor

Joey, what a coincidence! Serenity and I were just talking about you.

Joey Wheeler

You were? What do you think you're doin' in my sister's room?

Tristan Taylor

Well, I knew how busy you are getting ready for the Battle City tournament, so I thought I should keep Serenity company. Right, pal?

Joey Wheeler

[angrily shouts] YOU'RE THE LAST THING SHE NEEDS, ROMEO!

Hi there, Joey. Why didn't you ever tell me that Tristan taught you everything you know about Duel Monsters...

Joey Wheeler

What?!

...or you finished second at Duelist Kingdom thanks to his training?

Joey Wheeler

WHAT?!

And you never mentioned that if it weren't for Tristan, you wouldn't have won the $3 million dollars to pay for my surgery. [Joey gives a smirking grin on the phone] You're so lucky to have such a sweet, caring guy as your friend.

Tristan Taylor

[chuckles nervously and comes back on the line] Best of luck in Battle City, and don't forget about that super three-card combo I taught you. Bye. [hangs up the phone, leaving Joey speechless]

Joey Wheeler

[turns furious and vehemently screams in the phone] TRISTAN! GRR! I'LL KICK YOUR LYIN' BUTT!

[appearing out of nowhere] Looking for someone?

Joey

I thought I smelled a dung beetle!

That's my greeting after all this time? [laughs sinisterly]

Joey

You stole that little kid's cards, didn't you, worm-breath?!

I don't remember stealing any cards.

Tristan

[cracking his knuckles] Well then, maybe I can help refresh your memory.

Joey

Tristan, wait. We'll settle this fair and square with a duel!

Be really careful, Joey. Remember when Weevil threw Yugi's Exodia cards off the boat to Duelist Island? This guy's a major cheater!

[laughing sinisterly] Careful where you point that finger, Téa. It might get bitten by one of my pets.

[disgusted] Gross!

Joey

Alright, let's do this!

That's fine with me, but we'll duel for two locator cards!

Joey

Two of them?

But if you lose both locator cards, you'll have no way of getting to the finals!

Tristan

It's way too risky, Joey.

That's if even have two!

Joey

That's it!

Be careful, Joey!

Joey

Yugi squashed this creepy little bug the first time they squared off at Duelist Kingdom. Now I guess it's my turn to do the same! How many locator cards do you have?

Two!

Joey

Then once I step on you and take them both, plus your rarest card, I'll be personally responsible for your ugly mug out of the tournament! Just like Yugi did last time! [He and Weevil activate their duel disks] Let's do this!

It's time to duel!

Joey

First, I'll play… my Swordsman of Landstar in attack mode! Then I'll leave this little number facedown for later. Take your best shot!

Your "Swordsman" looks like he popped out of a toybox!

Joey

This toy's gonna slice and dice your hive!

Well, is that so? Not if I play a much more powerful Flying Kamakiri #1! Now my flying friend, attack! Crush his mini-monster!

Joey

Uh-uh. Watch this. It's my Shield and Sword magic card! It swaps the attack and defense points of both our monsters, making my Swordsman's attack strength a cut above your bug's!

[groans then laughs] Nice try! But when Flying Kamakiri #1 is sent to the graveyard, it automatically summons an even more powerful warrior to take its place! The dreaded Flying Kamakiri #2!

Okay, Wheeler, enough playing around! Up until this point, I've been going easy on you. But you're starting to bug me, so the time has come to unleash the fury of my ultimate monster! I summon the Larvae Moth!

Joey

It's…the bug that Weevil used against Yugi!

[snickers] I see your memory's better than your dueling, Wheeler. Then you probably know that you're about to get demolished! Once I wrap my terrifying Larvae in the all-powerful Cocoon of Evolution!

Joey

[exclaims] This isn't good!

[laughs] Over the next five turns, the Cocoon of Evolution will transform my mere Larvae Moth into a huge beast known as the Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth!

My Moth! My precious, precious Great Moth! You've squashed it like a common fly! YOU'LL PAY! This duel isn't over yet, Wheeler, not by a mile!

Joey

Ha! Bring it on, Weevil! I'll exterminate all your little critters.

You won that round. But my next surprise will win me the duel and send you packing.

Joey

We'll just see about that, Weevil.

Yes, we will. First, I'll play this! Ta-da! My Insect Soldiers of the Sky! Next comes a magic card! Eradicating Aerosol! This card has the power to destroy any insect card in the field, and since all of your parasite-infected monsters are still insects, I could take one of them out, but I've got bigger plans. So I play Pinch Hopper! And now I can destroy my own insect!

Tristan

What gives?

Solomon

Once Pinch Hopper goes to the graveyard, Weevil can summon any monster from his hand!

Joey

Any monster?!

Yes! Eradicating Aerosol, now! Destroy my Pinch Hopper! Now I can summon a creature whose attack power is virtually limitless! Ha, ha! Insect Queen! She's my rarest card, and if played the right way, is totally unstoppable! Prepare to lose it all, Wheeler! You may have defeated my Great Moth, but my queen will trounce your puny defense and wipe out your Life Points! Now you will face a power like no other! Say goodbye to Battle City! If you think my Insect Queen is powerful now, just wait until you see her special function! She absorbs the attack points of every insect on the field!

Joey

It's still got less than your Moth, and I creamed that thing.

You weren't listening. She absorbs the points of every insect, yours included!

Joey

Mine? That's right! My monsters are still considered insects because of that stinking parasite!

Exactly! Now absorb their power, my queen!

Joey

That's a thousand more attack points!

Flying Fish, attack my opponent's Life Points directly!

Go, Joey!

And now I'll place one card facedown and complete my turn. Feel the power of my sea deck! Mako Tsunami will show no mercy!

Joey

Fine. Who's asking you to?

For years, I have searched for my lost father in the open seas and I've used nothing but a small wooden fishing boat. Every time I battles the mighty ocean waters, I become stronger! And no matter how difficult I struggled, I have vowed to stop searching until I find him! I face my dueling opponents with the same determination and I fight every duel in honor of my father. I know in my heart we'll be reunited someday, but until that time… even though he's not right here, he continues to inspire me and give me strength!

Joey

Guess what? I got someone who inspires me like that also. My little sister, Serenity. And guess what else? I don't show any mercy, either, pal.

Then on with the duel, my friend!

Joey

[under Marik's control; in distorted voice] Welcome.

Joey!

Not exactly. Joey is not present. He's gone away.

It's Marik!

That's correct. And if you want your friends back, you will listen to me.

Mokuba

What's going on? That sure doesn't sound like Joey.

It must be one of Marik's tricks.

Listen, Joey, you've got to be in there!

It's pointless. Now, you listen, Yugi. We are playing by my regulations. I'll release your pathetic friends as soon as I get what I want. Of course, since I want your Puzzle and Egyptian Gods card, there's only one way to do this. You and I are going to duel!

You're insane!

Refuse, and your friends are mine forever!

Release Joey from your control, Marik!

Mokuba

What's going on, bro?

Well, Mokuba, it appears that this Marik was somehow able to turn Joey Wheeler against Yugi. Now Wheeler wants to duel. This should be interesting to say the very least.

Mokuba

Interesting? But why?

Well, if Wheeler is fighting on the side of Marik and the Rare Hunters now, he may be holding the third Egyptian God card. [thinking] And I want that card in my deck, so if it's played, I want to be there.

It's time to seize the power that should have been mine all along!

[trying to get Joey to come to his senses] Joey, I know you can hear me! Your mind is under the control of Marik, and you must break free, understand?! The same Marik you vowed to help me crush! Think, Joey! You've got to remember your promise to me, when you gave me your Red-Eyes! Marik couldn't defeat me in a duel. So he decided to turn you against me, in order to win my Puzzle and my Egyptian God card. Joey, I know you're in there, and I'm going to set you free! Marik's power is feeble compared to the strength of our friendship. Please say something, Joey. Joey!

You'll never set him free, unless you follow me, Yugi.

[angrily calling out to Marik in determination] MARIK! You hide like a coward, but wherever you are, I know you can hear me, and I've got news for you! There will be a loser in this duel, but it's not who you're thinking! It's not me, and it's not Joey, either! It's you! Marik, you will lose this duel!

WHAT?!

You may have thought you could force Joey to destroy me by taking over his mind, but it looks like there's something you didn't take into account when you made your plan! The strength of Joey's bond with his friends! Time may be running out, but Joey's back, and we're in control of this duel now! Your power over Joey has been removed! And I'd say that means... you LOSE!

Joey

Yuge...

That timer may run out, but since Joey is free, you can't be considered the winner of this duel! Get it?! Since you're not dueling anymore, how can you possibly win this duel!?

[groans lividly] YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!

What does Yugi think he's doing?! That fool!

Joey

Yugi… Help me, PLEASE! [screams and finally breaks free from Marik's control]

You did it!

[shocked in horror] What?! No! Yugi was right! Wheeler's will was too powerful to overcome! NO!

Joey

Hey, Yuge, I bet that Millennium Puzzle is back where it belongs.

That reminds me. I owe a big thanks to you too, Yami. You trusted me to handle this on my own. I could never have broken through to Joey if you didn't believe in me. You and I make a great team, but it's nice to know that I have the strength to hold my own if I have to. And you helped me find that strength inside myself.

Mai

Will you get a grip, please?!

Yami Bakura

I hold a card in my hand with dark powers beyond your wildest imagination. But first, before I could play this all-powerful card, I needed a bit of assistance. Thanks for helping me destroy you. Three of my monsters needed to be destroyed before I could bring forth my Dark Destructor. You made that possible. Now I summon the beast that will cause your demise, Dark Necrofear! [summons Dark Necrofear] You have no idea what you are about to experience!

I knew you planning something!

Yami Bakura

It doesn't matter. You still fell into my trap, and now you're about to pay the ultimate price! [laughs] This is it. You're finished, Yugi!

Tristan

What is it? That monster's creeping me out.

Joey

Me too, Tristan. And if he was willing to lose all those life points to bring it out, it must be powerful.

Yami Bakura

Dark Necrofear is one of the most destructive cards in my deck. You'll never stop it.

I know a card in Yugi's deck that can-- his Egyptian God card, the mighty Slifer the Sky Dragon. It all depends on whether or not Yugi has the courage to use it.

Yami Bakura

Stare into the face of defeat! You see, not only is my monster strong… possessing more attack points than either of your monsters… but it also possess a dark magic hidden within, waiting to activate and destroy you!

Your monster may be powerful, but it's not unbeatable!

[thinking] This Dark Necrofear must possess incredible powers if Bakura risked losing the finals just to summon it. He led Yugi through this duel like a dog on a leash, and now Bakura has him exactly where he wants him. So, what will you do now, Yugi?

Bakura

[gasps and groans in pain] Oh, my arm... It hurts...

Bakura!

Joey

Bakura!

Are you okay?

Bakura

Yugi, help me. I-I don't know where I am. What am I doing here in this duel? What happened to my arm?

It is him.

He's in pain. Without the spirit of the ring, he is weak. Therefore, you may wish to reconsider your attack. The devastation caused by Slifer the Sky Dragon could make your friend's condition even worse.

What?!

Would you risk the health of your friend?

Only a coward would do something like this to win a duel!

Joey

[growls] That's a cheap trick, Marik!

Tristan

Bakura, hang in there!

Yugi!

[smirks] Well done, Odion. He'll never attack his pathetic, defenseless friend now.

[leaves] Master Marik always knows what's best. I must obey his commands.

Bakura

I don't feel very well, Yugi.

Joey

[thinking] I'll make this wacko wish he never tried to control my noggin'! [speaking] Yo! Listen up, you bald-headed freak! According to my math, you're gonna be all washed up in nine turns! That's if you can count!

Duke

Where'd he come up with nine?

Tristan

Look, with Joey, you don't ask.

My brother's so awesome, he's got this whole duel calculated in his head already.

Mai

That's right, Serenity. You just keep believing everything he says.

Joey

[as Odion pulls out a replica of the Millennium Rod and holds it in front of him; shocked] That must be what he used to control me!

[thinking] The Millennium Rod! I knew Marik would use it to win this duel! That coward can't win on his own!

Joey

Point that thing somewhere else and duel like a man!

Very well.

Joey

Look, Marik… Did you say, "very well?"

[thinking] That's a relief. Marik must have realized that Joey's mind is too strong to be controlled. That's why the Millennium Rod didn't work last time.

[thinking] Little do they know that Odion's Millennium Rod is merely a replica of the original item held by me. These fools will never suspect that I am the one they fear and despise so greatly! And while I hide safely in the shadows, Odion will fight my battles for me. But something else concerns me. It's Seto Kaiba and his role in this struggle. Little Yugi isn't the only one standing between me and the power of the Pharaoh, for the ancient tablets also depict a sorcerer, who bears a striking resemblance to Kaiba. And what concerns me even more is what appears to be my Millennium Rod in the hands of this sorcerer! So I'll keep an eye on him as well. And before the finals are over, Kaiba's Egyptian God card, Obelisk the Tormentor, will belong to me! Kaiba could never comprehend that card's power! And as long as Odion continues to deceive everyone into believing he is me, my plan to obtain the two remaining Egyptian God cards and Yugi's Millennium Puzzle should be simple. I'll show Seto Kaiba what true power is all about.

Mokuba

Hey, Seto. If Marik really is the leader of the rare hunters, he must have, like, a ton of rare cards in his deck.

There's only one card in his deck I care about and that's his Egyptian God card, the Winged Dragon of Ra. And hopefully that hack, Joey Wheeler will last long enough in this duel for me to see how Marik's card works so I can win it for myself.

[thinking] Listen to me, Odion. If you can't defeat this pathetic fool, Joey Wheeler, then you don't stand a chance against the Pharaoh! So unless you'd like to take an unexpected journey to the Shadow Realm, I'd suggest you refrain from disappointing me.

[thinking] Yes, Master Marik. I pledge my word that I shall defeat this worthless opponent.

Joey

Let's do this, Marik!

It's time to duel, and destroy you!

Gentlemen, let the duel begin!

Prepare for defeat!

Joey

Don't count on it, Marik! I'm not scared of you!

I'll play Temple of the Kings-- a card like none you've ever seen!

Joey

What's going on? What's the deal with that building, Marik?

The structure behind me is the ancient temple of the Kings. Within this 5,000-year-old sanctuary lie the greatest treasures of the Kings of Egypt.

Joey

And what does that big shack do?

To protect the Kings' treasure, it limits the number of magic and trap cards you can play in one turn.

Joey

Aw, man.

And in front of the temple, I'll lay two cards facedown as an extra boundary of protection. And with this move, I end my turn. So try to attack me if you dare. You have no idea what danger lurks within these temple walls.

Marik hasn't even summoned one monster!