Joey Wheeler quotes from Yu-Gi-Oh!

Joey

I was knocked out of the tournament by a guy with pink hair!?

Tristan

A guy with pink hair who's an EXCERPT DUELIST.

Joey

I wanna be Number One!

Oh, will you grow up!? Trust me, there'll be other Duels!

Joey

You're not runner up every year! That honor belongs to me!

Just as I thought. I knew you couldn't resist my charm! All right, if you defeat me, then your Grandpa walks. If you lose, we go on a date.

[infuriated]: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT! I'VE HEARD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OUT OF YOU, TOOTS! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! YUGI DOESN'T LIKE YOU AND HE NEVER WILL!

Joey

All right. Just breathe.

Joey

He summoned three monsters at once!

And Kaiba's Life Points are defenseless! So if Zigfried attacks with all three Valkyries, the duel's done!

Mokuba

Come on, bro!

Looks like we've reached the finale before we even begun. Auf Wiederssen! Valkyrie Zweite, attack his Life Points directly with Galloping Gash!

I activate my facedown card! Go, Negate Attack! Looks like you're out of luck, and you're Valkyrie's out of steam.

Awesome! Thanks to Kaiba's card, Zigfried's turn is over! So his three Valkyries go back to his deck!

Well, what are you waiting for, Zigfried? Call off your ponies! Their moment in the spotlight is over!

[snickers sinisterly, revealing he activated a magic card] Thanks to this card, they've added a second performance!

Oh, no!

Oh, yes! Time for an encore! So why don't you just sit back and enjoy the show! Valkyrie Zweite, attack him directly!

He's cheating!

Mokuba

Yeah, those Valkyries should've returned to Zigfried's deck!

Hey, watch out!

What do you think you're doing?!

Winning, of course! You see, Mischief of the Time Goddess allows me to skip your turn, then I can pick up where I left off! Wiping out the remainder of your Life Points! So let's try this again.

Mokuba

Seto! No!

Not so fast! I reveal my Magical Trick Mirror! Here's the deal: it activates a magic card from your graveyard! And I choose Mischief of the Time Goddess!

Not that!

Let's see how you like it! Now your turn is skipped!

Joey

He just bought himself a second chance. Don't screw this up, rich boy.

And now, to kick off the festivities, please welcome a very special individual!

Joey

[seeing the camera, asuming it's focusing on him] I thought you'd never ask!

Mokuba

He's talking about my brother, not you, you nimrod!

Joey

I knew that.

I can't even control my own monsters.

We'll be fine. [draws] Now… Since three turns have passed since you played Spinning Wheel Spindle, my Queen's Knight returns! For my next move, I'll place these two cards facedown on the field. And then I'll activate this! It's my Card of Sanctity! This magic card allows both players to draw until we're holding six cards in our hands. Now I summon my King's Knight in attack mode. And since King's Knight and Queen's Knight are both on the field, I'm able to summon Jack's Knight from my deck to join them!

If you're through wasting everyone's time, may I remind you, your three knights are useless against my Golden Castle!

I wouldn't be so sure. Now I activate… my Royal Straight! This magic card allows me to summon an extremely powerful monster from either my deck, my hand, or my graveyard. So behold! Royal Straight Slasher! And next I'll activate my Royal Straight Slasher's special ability! Now, when I send one monster from each of the first five levels to the graveyard, Slasher destroys every card on my opponent's side of the field!

Joey

Nice thinking, Yugi! Trap and magic cards don't work, but monster abilities do!

[sends every first five level monsters to the graveyard, one-by-one] Level one-- Kuriboh! Level two-- my Old Vindictive Magician! Level three-- Giant Soldier of Stone! Level four-- my Big Shield Gardna! Level five-- my Curse of Dragon! Now… destroy all his cards, including his Golden Castle!

Joey

Whoa! Check it out!

That must be the Pharaoh's name.

Yeah, but what's it say?

Joey

It says… bird, rock, lambchop, bird, and a bigger bird. So what's that mean?

Just memorize the symbols. Now let's go. We have to find Tristan and get out of here.

Joey

We're doomed.

Yugi, were you able to locate my name?

Uh, yeah.

Well, then… What is it?

[chuckles evilly] These humans may have found the location of your real name, Pharaoh, however, they were unable to read it!

But why?

It's simple. The word in question is written in a language unfamiliar to them.

Is that true?

[sighs] It's true. We made it through your tomb, and there it was on the back wall. There was only one problem. Your name was carved in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics! I know what it looked like. I just don't know how to say it.

Yes! It's working! Concentrate!

Joey

[thinking] We won't let you down!

Tristan

[thinking] I gotta remember those symbols!

[thinking] Almost there!

[thinking] Pharaoh's name, appear!

I'm afraid once again, you're too late, humans! [strikes a blast at the gang, but is blocked out by Kaiba's Ring of Defense magic card] How dare you interfere! [strikes a blast again, knocking them off aside] It's over! [As the smoke clears, the Pharaoh's name is fully revealed on the cartouche] NO!

[looks at the cartouche] Yugi, it worked! It's my name!

Pharaoh? Can you read the symbols?

Yeah, do you know what your name is?

Yes. My ancient name has been revealed! I am King… ATEM!

You now possess the power to defeat the dark one, my son.

How, Father?

By calling forth the light of the three Egyptian Gods to swallow the darkness.

And now… Mighty gods of Egypt… I REVIVE THEE! [revives Slifer, Obelisk and the Winged Dragon of Ra]

You think they'll win this time?

Tristan

Of course!

Yeah, the Pharaoh knows what to do.

The Egyptian Gods are powerless against me! You already tried this and failed!

Yes, but there's something I didn't do last time… Merge them together! Now I give you, the Creator of Light!

What?! Impossible!

Darkness, BE GONE!

[as the Creator of Light vanishes him forever; last words] NO! I SHALL TAKE YOU WITH ME!!!

Guess again, Zorc!

Bakura

Hello. Where are we?

Joey

Wait a second, guys. I have a hunch this is the good Bakura.

Bakura

Now…let me see. The last thing I remember was hearing a strange voice and then… [falls into Joey's arms, about to pass out]

Joey

Whoa. Take it easy, pal.

What's wrong?

Bakura

I need some food.

Joey

So do I. You don't see me passing out.

Joey!

Tristan

Look, we could all use a bite. It has been 5,000 years.

Joey

Huh? [takes the Millennium Ring off Bakura's neck] I think he's got something that belongs to you, Yuge.

Right. [thinking] Now that Zorc has vanished, so has the evil spirit of the Ring. So Bakura is finally free.

Joey

Hey, guys! A little help here?! Thanks, Téa. Grab a leg, will you?

[picks up the Millennium Key and Scale; thinking] Shadi… Please know that your items will finally be laid to rest. And thank you, my friend. [looks up at the tablet] Seto, according to the inscription on this tablet, you became a great pharaoh in your own right. You kept my father's dream alive by maintaining peace in Egypt. And knowing this, my spirit can finally go to its resting place.

Wait! What are you saying?

I think you know, Yugi.

Ishizu

My Pharaoh, were you able to recover your lost memories?

Yes.

Then after 5,000 years, our family's task is finally complete.

Ishizu

You're right. And the Millennium items are gathered together at last. My King...

I know. Now I must seal them away forever so I can enter the spirit world.

You're leaving us?

This is the final task of my mission, Téa.

I guess I always knew. I mean, you came back here after all this time so you could save the world. And now that you've done that, you can finally rest.

Ishizu

Pharaoh, if you and your friends would like us to, Marik and I can lead you to the final resting place of the seven Millennium items.

You mean the Millennium Stone?

Ishizu

And the inscription above this ancient stone reads as follows: "To the spirit world thou may proceed, but first thou must complete this deed. Return the items whence they came and speak aloud the Pharaoh's name." Are you ready for your final task?

Yes.

Ishizu

Then allow me to be your guide to the shrine of the next world.

Yugi, before we go any further, there's something else you should know about all this. There's another ancient passage inscribed above the Millennium Stone. It mentions a battle ritual.

Did you say "battle?!"

In order for the Pharaoh to enter the spirit world, he must first face off against a worthy opponent in battle and lose.

Joey

What kind of battle do you mean?

In ancient times, this referred to a duel with swords. But, luckily for us, today we duel one another with cards.

A duel?

Exactly, Yugi. I must lose in a game of Duel Monsters.

I don't mean to be disrespectful, Marik, but I don't get what the challenge is in losing a duel.

Duke

Think about it, guys. Winning is easy for the Pharaoh, but being able to accept defeat is probably the greatest test of his character there is.

You may have a point there, Duke. But where are we gonna find a duelist who's good enough to beat the Pharaoh?

Tristan

Dude, this duel is gonna be awesome!

Joey

Yeah, Yugi vs. the Pharaoh? That's as good as it gets.

Tristan

What's up, Téa?

Joey

You gotta use the little girl's room?

Not quite. I was just wondering why we had to rush into all this so soon. This could be our final chance to hang out with the Pharaoh before he leaves us for good.

Tristan

That's true. I was so pumped up for this duel, I forgot this might be his last one.

Yeah, me too.

Ishizu

My friends… I know how difficult this must be, however, Yugi and the Pharaoh must carry out this battle ritual as quickly as possible. If too much time should pass, our window of opportunity will close.

We all know how you feel, Téa, but this is what's best for the Pharaoh. He doesn't belong in our world, and now his spirit finally has a chance to go home.

[sighs, then lightens up] You're right. Let's do this.

Joey

I probably don't say this as often as I should, Téa, but you know, you're one of the bravest people I ever met. I know this is tough for you, and I just want to say I'm proud.

If you dorks start holding each other's hands, then I'm out of here. I didn't come here to listen to your lame friendship speeches.

Joey

Maybe if you had some friends, you wouldn't feel that way!

Tristan

That was harsh, man.

Joey

Oh, like he didn't deserve it?

[joins his three gadgets to his Moving Fortress] Whenever these three gadget monsters are on the field at the same time, they're able to raise the attack strength of my Moving Fortress to 3,000 points!

Joey

I taught that kid everything he knows, folks!

Stronghold the Moving Fortress, attack! Steel Gear Crush! [his monster then gets trapped in the Swords of Revealing Light] What happened to my Stronghold?!

He's trapped, thanks to my Bounce Spell! This magic card allowed me to transfer the effect of your Swords of Revealing Light to your monster! Now it can't attack for three more turns.

[thinking] Whoa! Now what am I gonna do? I wasn't expecting that. I guess the Pharaoh really is trying his hardest to defeat me. [speaking] I switch my Green Gadget into defense mode and end my turn.

[thinking] Yugi, in my heart, I hope you win. But that doesn't mean I plan to go easy on you. [speaking] It's my move. [draws] And I'll start by sending my monster to the graveyard in order to activate the magic card, Tricky Spell 4! This allows me to summon as many Tricky tokens as you have monsters on the field. That gives me four monsters as well!

Mokuba

Whoa, the taller Yugi just evened it all up!

Not exactly. If he's about to do what I think he is, then he's way ahead of the game.

I'm not finished yet. Not even close! I'm taking this duel to the next level!

No way!

I knew it.

Joey

This is Yugi's shot to finally prove himself. He usually takes a backseat during duels. But this time, Yugi's in control of his own deck! So, now instead of standing behind the Pharaoh, the two of 'em are standing face-to-face for one last duel!

Yeah, but can Yugi win?

Joey

[thinking] It's gonna be tough. But if anyone can do it, Yugi can.

This isn't exactly brain surgery here, folks. It's pretty obvious that only one of the two Yugi twins inherited the dueling skills, so why even watch? Looks like his little secret is out. Yugi can't duel his way out of a paper bag, so he got his look-alike to duel for him. [starts to walk away]

Joey

Get back here, rich boy! This duel ain't over till it's over!

Tristan

Joey's right!

Yeah, how 'bout showing a little respect?!

Do you losers honestly believe that Yugi can still win?

Joey

You bet!

Then answer me this: What possible combination of cards would you use to defeat all three Egyptian Gods?

Joey

What's your point?

I rest my case. You're as clueless as Yugi is.

Joey

Look, pal, I may not have the answer, but there is one! Come on, Marik, you're the expert here. What's their weakness?

Well, individually, they have drawbacks, but when all three are together, they're practically indestructible.

Ishizu

Only fate can decide the outcome of this ritual. If Yugi is unable to defeat his alter ego, then the two are not yet meant to separate from one another. If this occurs, the Pharaoh will be trapped here for another 5,000 years.

That's not fair. [thinking] I'm so confused. I want the Pharaoh to stay, but not if it means trapping him against his will.

Mokuba

[surprised after Yugi defeated the three Egyptian Gods] Whoa! No way!

I guess Yugi really did have a plan, after all.

Joey

Did you see that?!

He beat the Egyptian Gods?

Duke

In one move?!

Joey

And I never expected any less from you, Yuge.

[holding hands and dancing in a circle; singing happily] He did it, he did it! He's better than the Pharaoh!

No offense, of course.