Zigfried quotes from Yu-Gi-Oh!

All right, herr Joseph, since you're clearly at a disadvantage in so many ways, why don't you make the first move?

Tristan

[calling out] He's just messing with your head, man!

Duke

Yeah, don't freak out. Remember, stay focused.

Joey

Try to keep up! All right, let's see here. [becomes shocked when he has four spell cards and two high level monsters in his hand]

Tristan

Gee, I wonder if he's got a bad hand.

I'm gonna say "yes."

Joey

[thinking] I can't play a single monster!

You're beginning to sweat. Is the molten lava getting to you or is it something else?

I'm in shock.

Joey

And why's that?

[chuckles] Beating you is more fun than I thought.

Joey

Just go.

Fine. I'll begin by activating this magic card… Nibelung's Treasure! This affords me the ability to extract another magic card from my deck and place it on your side of the field. So I present… Nibelung's Ring! And I also draw five cards.

Joey

[as the ring is equipped to his monster] So what's the deal with the ring?

There's no need to thank me, just consider it a gift. But we'll talk more about my generosity a bit later. Now, I must call upon the three divine sisters! The Goddess Urd, the Goddess Verdande, and the Goddess Skuld! Now it's one underdog against three divas.

Joey

You mean four divas.

Now, let the fun begin with the Goddess Skuld! Activate your Scepter of Revelation, and foresee the future! Each turn from now on, I'm able to see the top three cards in your deck, and rearrange them any which way I please.

Joey

Huh? That's not fair!

Tristan

Joey's future isn't looking too bright, guys.

Interesting cards. Let's start by placing the middle one on the top. Then the first card, and then the third.

Joey

Huh? I don't see what that's gonna do, but it's your call.

You'll understand once I call upon Goddess Verdande! Her Scepter of Guidance gives me the opportunity to guess what type of card rests on top of your deck. If I happen to guess correctly, then you're forced to play that card facedown on the field!

Joey

No way!

Now I will go out on a limb here and say...your top card's a monster!

Joey

Since you're the one that put it there, I'm not too impressed.

Well, either way, you have to summon it facedown, so let's have it.

Joey

Whatever.

Finally, I call upon Goddess Urd! Each turn, she gives me the opportunity to guess the identity of one of your facedown cards! If I'm right, it's removed from play.

Joey

Say what?!

Let me take a wild guess. It's Panther Warrior. Looks like I'm right! Awww, parting is such sweet sorrow, isn't it? [chuckles]

First he took out Jinzo, and now it's Panther Warrior?

But those are Joey's best monsters!

Tristan

Not anymore.

I think I've done enough damage. So go. And if you could, step it up a bit. I'm getting bored.

Joey

It's official. He is the most annoying opponent I've ever faced.

Joey

He summoned three monsters at once!

And Kaiba's Life Points are defenseless! So if Zigfried attacks with all three Valkyries, the duel's done!

Mokuba

Come on, bro!

Looks like we've reached the finale before we even begun. Auf Wiederssen! Valkyrie Zweite, attack his Life Points directly with Galloping Gash!

I activate my facedown card! Go, Negate Attack! Looks like you're out of luck, and you're Valkyrie's out of steam.

Awesome! Thanks to Kaiba's card, Zigfried's turn is over! So his three Valkyries go back to his deck!

Well, what are you waiting for, Zigfried? Call off your ponies! Their moment in the spotlight is over!

[snickers sinisterly, revealing he activated a magic card] Thanks to this card, they've added a second performance!

Oh, no!

Oh, yes! Time for an encore! So why don't you just sit back and enjoy the show! Valkyrie Zweite, attack him directly!

He's cheating!

Mokuba

Yeah, those Valkyries should've returned to Zigfried's deck!

Hey, watch out!

What do you think you're doing?!

Winning, of course! You see, Mischief of the Time Goddess allows me to skip your turn, then I can pick up where I left off! Wiping out the remainder of your Life Points! So let's try this again.

Mokuba

Seto! No!

Not so fast! I reveal my Magical Trick Mirror! Here's the deal: it activates a magic card from your graveyard! And I choose Mischief of the Time Goddess!

Not that!

Let's see how you like it! Now your turn is skipped!

Joey

He just bought himself a second chance. Don't screw this up, rich boy.

I can't even control my own monsters.

We'll be fine. [draws] Now… Since three turns have passed since you played Spinning Wheel Spindle, my Queen's Knight returns! For my next move, I'll place these two cards facedown on the field. And then I'll activate this! It's my Card of Sanctity! This magic card allows both players to draw until we're holding six cards in our hands. Now I summon my King's Knight in attack mode. And since King's Knight and Queen's Knight are both on the field, I'm able to summon Jack's Knight from my deck to join them!

If you're through wasting everyone's time, may I remind you, your three knights are useless against my Golden Castle!

I wouldn't be so sure. Now I activate… my Royal Straight! This magic card allows me to summon an extremely powerful monster from either my deck, my hand, or my graveyard. So behold! Royal Straight Slasher! And next I'll activate my Royal Straight Slasher's special ability! Now, when I send one monster from each of the first five levels to the graveyard, Slasher destroys every card on my opponent's side of the field!

Joey

Nice thinking, Yugi! Trap and magic cards don't work, but monster abilities do!

[sends every first five level monsters to the graveyard, one-by-one] Level one-- Kuriboh! Level two-- my Old Vindictive Magician! Level three-- Giant Soldier of Stone! Level four-- my Big Shield Gardna! Level five-- my Curse of Dragon! Now… destroy all his cards, including his Golden Castle!