Sheldon Cooper quotes from Young Sheldon

What are you doing?

Sheldon

Are you going to talk the whole time?!

It seems to be annoying you, so? Yeah.

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He's an old man.

Sheldon

I'm not an old man.

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Care to explain yourself?

Sheldon Cooper

I was trying to motivate Missy to expand her intellectual horizons.

By torturing her Cabbage Patch doll?

Sheldon Cooper

Well, it's not like I shocked her with electrodes, which was an option.

Enough.

Sheldon Cooper

To be clear, I meant to shock Missy, not the doll. That would be an effect--

ENOUGH! And you! Getting baptized just to kiss a girl?! What were you thinking?!

Georgie Cooper

Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

Well, you are both grounded!

Missy Cooper

"Dear Alf, I'm your number one fan. I like you because you're an alien but you're funny, unlike my brother who's an alien but just a jerk. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying your time here on our planet and have found things to eat other than cats. I recommend chicken nuggets. Sincerely, Missy Cooper, age 10."

AALF

"P.S. My favorite color is pink. What's yours?" Ha. What a cutie pie. Hey, hey, Barbara, we got any more of those pink T-shirts with my face on them? I want to send one to this Missy Cooper kid. Oh, oh, and get me some chicken nuggets, huh? Hello? Anybody out there? Apparently not. Barb!

[final lines]

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Sheldon

Where did you go to medical school?

DDoctor

University of Nebraska.

Sheldon

Uh-oh.

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Sheldon

You know the soft kitty song?

NNurse

No.

Sheldon

I'll teach it to you. Get a note pad.

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You love this country!

Sheldon

I love this country!

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What are you doing here?

Sheldon

I got called to the principal's office.

So did I! What, you do something wrong?

Sheldon

Not that I'm aware of. Did you?

I hope not.

Sheldon

Maybe it's good news.

Sheldon, you ever been called the principal's office for good news.

Sheldon

Never.

Oh.

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My man.

Sheldon

When was the last time you washed your hands?

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Cheers.

Sheldon

Cheers.

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Why can't you read who won in the newspaper?

Sheldon Cooper

I could say the same thing about the Super Bowl, but you still watch it.

Missy Cooper

He got you there.

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[radio static]

How's it going, baby?

Sheldon Cooper

I don't think anyone's showing up, not even Tam.

I'm here.

Sheldon Cooper

Yeah, but you're my mom. You live on the premises. At least Dr. Sturgis should be here any minute.

Shelly, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis isn't coming this morning.

Sheldon Cooper

Why not?

He isn't feeling well.

Sheldon Cooper

Oh, dear. Should we send him a get well card?

I think that'd be terrific.

JJacobson

Good morning and welcome to the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences.

Sheldon Cooper

The announcements are starting.

You want me to stay?

JJacobson

Uh, The Academy has concluded its meeting and we are ready to announce this year's...

I'll be in my room if you need me.

JJacobson

As usual, I will read the announcements first in English, then in Swedish, then the citation in German, French, and Russian. And this year's Nobel Prize in Physics is awarded to...

Sheldon Cooper

Come on, neutrinos.

JJacobson

...Henry Kendall, Jerome Friedman and Richard Taylor for the discovery of quarks.

ASAdult Sheldon

A primary feature of quarks is that they're always bonded together, but in that moment, I felt like a neutrino, destined to be alone forever. Thankfully, I was wrong.

[final lines]

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[Sheldon and Mary both think the other might have some mental health issues]

Sheldon Cooper

You think *I* have mental problems?

Well, not "problems". I'm just worried about your future. And when I see you moving sub-atomic particles around in the air, that makes me...

Sheldon Cooper

Sub-atomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes. If anyone's mental, it's you!