[First lines of the series]
ASAdult Sheldon
"I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo. And when I figured out that trains allowed me to prove Newton's first law... An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force... I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, alone and happy."
ASAdult Sheldon
"I don't care how dimwitted you are. Scientific principles have to make you smile. Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig."
Sheldon, if you don't get in here, I'm gonna lick your toothbrush.
ASAdult Sheldon
"That's my sister. And she's done it before."
Hey, what the hell are you doing out there?
I was exploring dimensional kinematics.
How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
That's enough. No one's adopted.
That can still be arranged.
(Sheldon's new friend is having dinner with the Coopers) So, uh, Tam... what kind of name is that?
Sure. I spent a little time over there. Army. Your Mom's name isn't Kim Lee, is it?
[seeming relieved] Good, good. I mean, yeah. It's a small country. So... Mary, how's that food comin'?
[from the kitchen] Almost.
So, Viet Nam. Like in Rambo.
All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner: bar-b-que chicken and brisket.
Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wigglin' around on your plate. OK, let's say Grace. Now, Tam, when I say 'Jesus', feel free to say the word 'Buddha' in your head.
Oh. Well, that's too bad.
You lied to your moon pie.
I was bluffing my moon pie.
Do people know about this?
Sheldon, what's on a person face is not always what's in their heart.
Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
You don't. That's what makes life interesting.
The doctors are doing some tests, but dollar to donuts, your daddy's just got a bad case of gas. Y'all two go get ready for bed.
I don't want to stay around here. I want to go to the hospital and see dad.
Well, i want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, but that ain't gonna happen either.
You know what's stupid? I got to drink pink wine
I hope you're not bluffing.
I'm driving to the hospital. You can come with me or stay here, up to you.
You're 14. You don't know how to drive.
I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. It's the same thing.
But you sat on the farmer's lap.
Then stay here. Come on, Missy.
(He suddenly hears Meemaw snore, and turning. Afraid he's gonna be blame for the runaway, Sheldon decides to join George and Missy).
What took you so long to answer?
Powdering my nose. What's it to ya?
Sorry I asked. Just want to give you an update.
They wanna to run some test. They're gonna hold him overnight.
Oh, well. That's, that's nothing to worry about. That's just precautionary.
Oh... they were a little worried. But I handled it.
Thank's again for helping.
Oh hey, these are my grandchildren. They are my blood.
(Hangs up the phone before she realize about the letter in the table. As she open it, it's shown that Sheldon is telling him about their runaway).
Son of a bitch. I hate those kids.
Everybody just shut up. I got this.
[The three of them then realize about a siren wailing behind their car.]
Oh, no. We're going to jail.
Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped
That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail.
Oh, you'd better pull over.
[As Georgie pull over, it's revealed that the siren was coming from a ambulance.]
Well, don't just sit there. Follow it.
It's an ambulance. It's going to the hospital.
How about i put the radio on real low.
ASAdult Sheldon
Fun fact: The first time I almost died was at the age of nine. The murder weapon: A Jimmy Dean sausage.
[In the flashback, Sheldon chokes and clutches his throat, his blue eyes wide with distress]
Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me.
[Mary sees Sheldon clutching his throat and struggling to breathe]
ASAdult Sheldon
In fairness to Mr. Dean, this one morning I decided to forego my normal twenty chews per bite, as prescribed by the American Medical Association.
[bending Sheldon over his knee] Come here, boy. We got it. We just got to smack it out. [He smacks Sheldon on the back]
ASAdult Sheldon
To further complicate matters, in any real life crisis, my family's default mode is mindless panic.
[from the comfort of the breakfast table] Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die!
ASAdult Sheldon
Or heartless apathy.
[Georgie bites into a slice of toast and watches. George picks Sheldon up by his legs and shakes him]
Here we go. This is how you do it. Here we go. And shake.
ASAdult Sheldon
It's interesting, the things you think about when life is ebbing from your body. For instance, linoleum. What is it, really? Plastic? And if so, how is it from Formica?
[While being shaken, Sheldon's gaze turns to the cereal box on the table]
ASAdult Sheldon
And what about Count Chocula? How is he a count? Did the title come with land?
George, Heimlich! [George puts the boy on his feet and does a heimlich maneuver] Don't hurt his little ribs!
ASAdult Sheldon
They say in the final moments, your life passes before your eyes. All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife, and putting it back in the jar.
[Sheldon's windpipe is freed from obstruction]
Okay, it's better now. Sheldon! Honey, are you okay? Can you breathe? Say something!
You have to... throw away... that jelly!
