CClint
No. Don't say it.
[offering Clint's severed cybernetic arm] What? "Need a hand?" Come on. I feel like you should know me by now. Puns aren't really my style.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
CCarol
[confronting Ultron in Xandar] Listen, Skynet, I've seen the killer robot movie and I gotta say, I really don't think it needs a sequel.
[Ultron has destroyed all humanoid life in his universe and starts to go dormant. The Watcher appears behind him.]
[both observing and narrating] The realization nearly broke the machine. With his mission complete, Ultron was now just a program without a purpose. The victor without a war, sentenced to spend all of eternity... alone.
[As the Watcher speaks, Ultron reanimates and starts looking about.]
Who... Who said that?
Basking in the boundless silence of his universe, Ultron ascended to a previously unattainable level of consciousness. He became aware of another. [Ultron turns around] He became aware of the— [stops, confused]
...I see you. [The Watcher gasps in horror] There are universes beyond my own...
[hides himself from Ultron's sight; horrified] I...have seen everything... that has ever happened. Ever will happen. Ever could happen. And yet... What the hell is THIS?!
Dialing Avengers Tower.
Uh...hello?
Hi, I'd like to order a pizza.
What? Who is this?
Tell me, do you guys offer a gluten-free crust?
Identifying your geo-positional coordinates.
CClint
You having some fun?
You know, simple pleasures. I give us two minutes.
[to a defeated Watcher] The entire multiverse at your fingertips, and you spent all your time up there. [levitates the Watcher towards him] Wow. Isn't this more fun than just watching? And to be honest, a lot less creepy on your part. [he tries to finish off the Watcher, but the Watcher fights back and teleports away] Run, watch, it doesn't matter. [teleports into the Watcher's observatory] From here, I can see everything. No one can stop me now.
Are you ready to break your oath?
You want me to say it?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I wanna hear you say it.
Okay. I can't believe I'm about to say this. I see now. I need your help.
Natasha Romanoff (Captain Carter's Universe): So, any plans for Saturday night?
No, don't. Stop right there.
NRNatasha Romanoff (CCU)
You know, Bernard in Accounting was asking about you.
Nothing good has ever followed the phrase 'Bernard in Accounting'.
NRNatasha Romanoff (CCU)
What if his name was Steve?
Ouch! Just when we were becoming pals, Widow.
But this Ultron could be hiding anywhere in the Multiverse?
Yes.
Behind an army of killer robots?
Afraid so.
GGamora
And armed with a full set of stones?
She's got a point.
I never said it would be easy.
BPBlack Panther Killmonger
This is a suicide mission.
PPParty Prince Thor
Um, excuse me, yeah. Is there a universe of Chinese food that has alternate dimension delivery? Tummy's getting rumbly. [chuckles]
[whispering aside to the Watcher] You picked them.
A wise sorcerer once told me that to face death is part of the plan. To face death is to conquer one’s... greatest fear of the.. unknown. Of... nothingness space of... the end of... all ends! The.. senseless nothing and the vast opening of infinity to your—
Umm... let me. You’ve done enough, Doctor.
I take it you know the Captain Carter on your universe?
No. Captain America. In my universe, Steve Rogers received the serum.
Now that would be a sight to see.
[While falling through the portal] Blimey– bloody– bollocks!
UUUltimate Ultron
I can destroy galaxies with a thought. Why won't you DIE?!
ZZola
[taking control of Ultron] This is a fascinating change of pace, ja? It has been a long time since I have had legs. I'd like to make this a permanent condition!
UUUltimate Ultron
This body is occupied!
ZZola
For now... but not for long.
What? Who are you? What is your objective?
ZZola
[chuckles softly] Once upon a time, it was to bring forth HYDRA's domination. But you ended that. So now I suppose... my objective is to end you! [stabs Ultron with tendrils, overwriting him with Zola's consciousness]
NRNatasha Romanoff (from Episode 8)
We're just stories to you. We're not real. You watch us fight, win, lose. Tell me, did you make popcorn while Ultron murdered my friends and burned my world to the ground?
You are more than that to me.
E8Ep 8 Natasha
Are we?
You. Your stories. They... are everything to me.
[Knocks Fury down and points the scepter at him] You and your replacement Avengers fought valiantly, but now I think it's time you told me all your secrets. [gets kicked in the face by Ep 8 Natasha, who picks up the scepter that he dropped] I was told you were dead.
E8Ep 8 Natasha
[points the scepter at Loki] Same. [strikes Loki with the scepter, neutralizing him]
[stands up] You're not my Natasha, but something tells me you have her spirit.
[Ep 8 Natasha smiles.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's What If...? pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.