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S4 E4

Two and a Half Men · Season 4, Episode 4

Jake and Charlie in “A Pot Smoking Monkey”

Hey.

Oh, look who's finally off the phone.

Yeah.

When are you gonna give Wendy Cho the necklace?

[depressed] I'm not.

[mocking] What happened? You chicken out?

[depressed] No.

[reproachful] I don't believe it! You dragged my ass all the way down to the mall. I pony up 40 bucks for the necklace and you chicken out!

[loud] She just dumped me, you old turd!

[surprised] Oh. You could have told me that before I started being an old turd.

[disappointed] I'm only twelve. I need a time machine.

Ah dude, I am really sorry. What happened?

She decided she has a problem with mixed relationships.

[perplexed] What, Chinese and Caucasian?

Gifted and remedial.

Ohh...

Yeah. Well, I'm done with relationships. From now on, I'm gonna be like you.

Why would you wanna be like me?

'Cause you never fall in love with anybody, so you never get hurt.

Okay, listen to me. Being hurt sucks...but love is the most beautiful and noble of human emotions. It's what gives a man hope. What gives his live meaning. Don't turn your back on love Jake. I did. And I regret it every day.

[hopefully] Really?

May God strike me down if I'm lying. [Looks up and whispers: Thank you!] Alright, the game's over. Let's go.

Where we going?

Might as well bail your dad out of jail.

Can we get something to eat first?

Sure, why not?

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