Alan: So what's the deal? Does, uh, Chelsea have a cold?
Charlie: I'm not sure. Cold, flu, something disgusting.
Jake: Maybe she has an STD.
Charlie: What?
Jake: It means "sexually transmitted disease".
Charlie: I know what STD's are!
Alan: Your uncle helped invent them.
Jake: You know, they can be prevented by using a condom.
Charlie: I know we could have prevented you by using a condom. Now we gotta use a hammer.
Jake: I don't understand.
Charlie: Go get me a hammer, and I'll show you.
Jake: Okay. (walks to the utility room)
Charlie: (to Alan) You must be so proud.
Jake: (from the utility room) Ballpeen or claw hammer?
Alan: Do me a favour. When he comes back, just do it.

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