Charlie and Alan in “Kissing Abraham Lincoln”

[about doing laundry] OK, OK, I can do this. I just turn it on and stick 'em in.

It's a washing machine, not a cocktail waitress. Let's start by separating her delicates.

How is that not like a cocktail waitress?

[trying to ignore Charlie] The reason you need to do these separately is they're mostly synthetic.

Add a beat-up Civic and an ex-husband and we're back to cocktail waitress!