[Alan is lying on the couch after falling off the ladder]
Alan
Do me a favor and call Judith and tell her not to bring Jake over.
Charlie
How come?
Alan
Look at me, Charlie! I have abrasions, contusions, a severely sprained neck, two fractured fingers, and I'm hopped up on pain pills. Does that spell "weekend dad" to you?
Charlie
Well, actually, to me it spells "weekend in Bangkok with two Olympic gymnasts". But that's a whole other story.
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