Alan and Charlie in “A Lungful of Alan”

You want to help me? Stop talking me up. It's killing me.

OK!

And stop putting yourself down! Somehow that's killing me too!

Got it.

Just-- just sit there and eat your dinner and I'll play your game.

Fine! [Alan takes the open urinal next to Charlie] You want to shake on it?

You're disgusting.

Yeah, I'm disgusting. At least I'm not the one taking a squirt on my shoe.