Dale Cooper quotes from Twin Peaks

Denise, I would assume you're no longer interested in girls.

Denise Bryson

Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time if you know what I mean.

Not really.

Fellas, I've got an idea. Why don't we let Lana and the mayor talk things over together. Alone.

I don't wanna talk. I wanna shoot.

Now Dwayne you can always shoot later. Talk first.

Albert Rosenfield

Oh, Coop, uh, about the uniform...

Yes, Albert?

Albert Rosenfield

Replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones is a form of fashion suicide, but, uh, call me crazy -- on you it works.

Albert Rosenfield

There's an epidemic of multiple gunshot wounds following this chick around. She is a menace.

I'll talk to her. Maybe she'll confess. Turn herself in.

Albert Rosenfield

[sarcastically] Maybe she'll grow wings and join the circus.

Pete Martell

Okay. This is it. Guaranteed to cause some sleepless nights.

As long as he can't remove another piece from the board. [a piece removed would mean an additional killing]

Pete Martell

He can't do it. Not at least for five, six more moves.

Sheriff Truman

Now maybe he'll kill anyway. Maybe it'll just frustrate him.

I don't think so Harry. Earle has a perverse sense of honor about these things.

Sheriff Truman

I'd never heard of a man who murdered by the rules.

Gordon Cole

WHAT A BEAUTY. REMINDS ME OF THAT STATUE, THE BABE WITHOUT THE ARMS.

The Venus de Milo.

Gordon Cole

THE NAME WAS MILO BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL THAT MAKES YOU WISH YOU SPOKE A LITTLE FRENCH.

Surefire cure for a hangover, Harry. You take a glass of nearly frozen, unstrained tomato juice. You plop a couple of oysters in there and you drink it down. Breathe deeply. Next you take a mound and I mean a mound of sweetbreads sauteed with some Canadian bacon and chestnuts. Finally some biscuits, big biscuits, smothered in gravy. Now here's where it gets tricky, you're gonna need some anchovies. You take -- 

Sheriff Truman

[groaning] Excuse me.

[smiling] That should do it.

Bobby Briggs

[seeing Gordon and Shelly kiss] Hey! What the hell's going on?

Gordon Cole

YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT. [to Shelly] Acts like he's never seen a kiss before.

Uh, Gordon...

Gordon Cole

TAKE ANOTHER LOOK, SONNY. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!

Gordon Cole

COOP! THEY SAY THAT LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND, MAKES PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. ALTHOUGH THEY NEVER SAID A DOG GUN THING ABOUT A CURE FOR HEARING LOSS. [to Shelly] Shelly, you are a miracle worker and a goddess sent from heaven.

Shelly Johnson

I’m a waitress in a diner I’ve never been compared to a goddess before.

Gordon Cole

Well shelly you just don’t know your own value. [to Dale Cooper] COOP! SHE’S A RARE AND PRECIOUS INDIVIDUAL, DON’T YOU THINK?

I know what you mean Gordon.

Gordon Cole

[turns to Shelly] Shelly turn around and face me a moment before I lose my nerve. I’m about ready to leave Twin Peaks and I don’t know when I’m gonna return but I want you to know that meeting you has been more than a privilege, you touched my heart and I know that if I don’t kiss you now I’m gonna regret it the rest of my days.

Bobby Briggs

[seeing Gordon and Shelly kiss] Hey! What the hell's going on?

Gordon Cole

YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT. [to Shelly] Acts like he's never seen a kiss before.

Uh, Gordon…

Gordon Cole

TAKE ANOTHER LOOK, SONNY. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!

Harry, we're in trouble. If the door to the Black Lodge does exist, it probably exists at a point in time. Now, an object, such as a door, normally exists at a point in time and space. By way of contrast, a shooting star normally exists at a point in time over a continuum of space. But taken from the star's point of view, it's a completely different experience.

Harry Truman

You just lost me.

If we're not at the right place at exactly the right time, we won't find our way in.

Laura Palmer

Hello, Agent Cooper. You can go out now. Do you recognize me?

Are you Laura Palmer?

Laura Palmer

I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.

Who are you?

Laura Palmer

I am Laura Palmer.

But Laura Palmer is dead.

Laura Palmer

I am dead. Yet I live.

This is the man I told you about. I wanted to see you again. I've thought of you every day, what you did for me. You changed my life. This is my dear son, Denver. He's back in my life again. I have a little dog. I have a house. I have my life back again. How can I ever thank you? [to the Mitchums] I hope you realize what a special person you having dining with you. He saved my life.

Bradley Mitchum

Sure saved us a lot too.

Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Jackpots. I'm so thankful I got a chance to say thank you again.

Thank you again.

Rodney Mitchum

Mmm. This pie is so damn good.

Damn good.

Rodney Mitchum

A toast.

Bradley Mitchum

[handing Cooper/Dougie a glass] Dougie.

Rodney Mitchum

Here's to the pie that saved your life, Dougie.

Bradley Mitchum

And our money. [they clink glasses] Candie. Candie. Another piece of pie for our friend.

Friend.

MIKE

You are awake.

100%.

MIKE

Finally.

You're a fine man, Bushnell Mullins. I will not soon forget your kindness and decency.

What about the FBI?

I am the FBI.