Judi Dench quotes from Tracey Ullman's Show

Oi! I saw that. Do you want me to call the police?

I don't know what you mean.

Oh, it's you, isn't it?

If you mean, is it Dame Judi Dench? Then, yes, it is. How very nice to meet you.

Sorry about that. There must be something wrong with the security camera.

Yes, well, they can be temperamental.

I loved you in James Bond.

Oh, we just try to tell a good story. And thank you.

What was I thinking? Dame Judi Dench wouldn't shoplift. You're a national treasure.

Exactly. And because I'm a national treasure, I could get away with anything. But, of course, I don't.

What's this?

It was awful! Somebody came over and did such terrible damage to your tablet!

Well, who was it?

An extra, I think. I wanted to shout, but I couldn't. I was quite afraid.

Unbelievable. You know, the same thing happened to Rickman and Cumberbatch.

Yes, that was very unfortunate.

Both on days they were working with you...

Well, I'm sure you're not suggesting it could have been me. I'm a national treasure, I would hardly break all your devices just for the thrill of getting away with it!

[chuckles] No. No, of course not. Sorry.

It was an unfortunate accident.

Yeah. It's backed up. My laptop was in my trailer, that's got my whole life on it. So as long as no-one sets that on fire...!

Oh, God forbid! The plume of smoke would be seen for miles around. Will you tell the director I'll be right back?

Well, Madam, do you know this lady?

I've never seen her before in my life.

But it's me, Judi! We did the Marigold Hotels together.

Yes, and I got second billing.

You can't do this to me!

Oh, I think I can. I'm a national treasure.