Torchwood Season 2 quotes

What exactly is your plan?

I'm gonna be the decoy.

And it won't rip you to shreds?

Dinosaurs? Had them for breakfast. Had to. Only source of food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.

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Come back with me. I've got somewhere nice and big where you can fly around.

So you'll let the pterodactyl in and not me?!

I need a guard dog.

I could be that!

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If you're not a figment of my imagination, then I don't know what's happening anymore. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown feels like.

You're fine. It's the rest of the world that's delusional.

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Here's what's going to happen: everything you love, everything you treasure, will die. I'm gonna tear your world apart, Captain Jack Harkness, piece by piece. Starting now.

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[irritated] Okay, this has to stop!

No, listen to me-

I don't have time for this! Look, I don't care what your problem is, I want you out of this city by sunrise! There is no place for you here/! Go back to London, find yourself another life! Keep stalking me, and I'll wipe your memory!

No, but the thing is-

Look, any conversation between us, no matter what the subject, is over, finished, done, forever! I'm getting back behind the wheel of that car; if you're still standing in the road, I'm gonna drive thorough you! [walks away]

So you're not gonna help me catch this pterodactyl, then? [Jack turns around]

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PAPC Andy

Rhys! What are you doing here?! It's a crime scene!

Oh come on, Andy, Rhys won't blab.

Rhys

Excuse me! I've kept loads of secrets!

PAPC Andy

Like what?

Rhys

Like a Time Agency based in Cardiff!

It's not based in Cardiff.

PAPC Andy

Brilliant secret. I ask, you tell. Well done.

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[Jack enters the Hub. "I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper" is playing in the background.]

Come on! Sing along! It's our song!

We don't have a song! And if we did have a song, it wouldn't be this song!

[deadpan] You're no fun!

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What do you want?

I want you to know that I love you.

Funny way of showing it.

No, seriously. You have to understand. [turns around] I really do love you.

[John pulls out two submachine guns and shoots Jack repeatedly. John stands over his "corpse".]

'Cause this is gonna get nasty.

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You took your time!

On your knees!

[sigh] Honestly, it's just sex, sex, sex, with you people.

Now!

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[Owen is trapped in a room and is about to be vaporised]

[hysterical] Tosh! Toshiko, I can't get out! Not like this! I'm not dying here! Get me out of here Tosh, get me out of here, I died once and I'm not doing it again! Where's Jack? Where's Gwen, Ianto, John?!? You wanna watch the dead man die again?!

Owen, just stay calm.

Why should I do that? Where's the fun in that? I'm gonna rage my way to oblivion!

[upset, quietly] Please stop.

Why? Give me good bloody reason why I should, one good reason why I shouldn't keep screaming!

[crying] Because you're breaking my heart!

[calms down] Sorry.

[still crying, harder] It's my fault.

No, no no it isn't, no it isn't, don't you dare go there Tosh, I'm really sorry. [pause] What's gonna happen to me Tosh?

[whisper] I can't.

Please, okay, I need to know.

[not crying but barely able to get the words out] The containment chamber will be flooded with irradiated coolant.

Ah, my body will slowly decompose, while I watch.

[crying] I should have been able to stop it!

Sshh, come on Tosh, there's no way you could have anticipated that power spike, come on. Besides you've saved my back so many times in the past, right from the moment I joined.

Your second week, I had to cover for you, pretend I was a medic because you were hung over and unreachable.

[weak laugh] What was it, space pig?

Space pig.

We never did get that date did we, you and me? We sort of, uh, missed each other, was my fault, didn't notice until it was too late, I'm sorry.

[weakly, crying] Me too.

[alarms sound] It's starting.

[whisper] Owen.

It's all right; really Tosh, it's all right. [last words] Oh god.

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[on video] Okay. So, if you're seeing this, I guess it means I'm, well, dead. Hope it was impressive! Not crossing the road or an 'incident' with a toaster. I just wanted to say, it's okay, it really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and all those possibilities. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen. You never knew. I love you. All of you. And.... I hope I did good.

Now we carry on.

I don't think I can. Not after this.