Gwen Cooper quotes from Torchwood

Gwen

I just feel... like there's something going on...

Owen

Marvellous. Thank you for that Disney moment.

Gwen

Emma's parents are a bit religious.

Rhys

Oh, er...Better not tell them you saw my morning glory then,eh!

Jack

you're a united front now. Ianto, hiding your cyber girlfriend in the basement. Owen, so strong he stepped into the cage with a weevil waiting to get mauled. Toshiko, your alien lesbian gave you a pendant.

Gwen

Jack, calm down, I just need to save Rhys.

Jack

yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys you spend all that time in Owen's bed.

Gwen

I've got to get Rhys back!

Jack

Yea, you're so in love with Rhys, you spend half your time in Owen's bed. [Gwen punches Jack]

Gwen

So, what sort of vision did you have? We all saw people we loved, asking us to open the Rift. Who did you see?

Jack

Nothing. I didn't see anyone.

Gwen

Jack? What visions would have tempted you?

Jack

[sighs] The right kind of Doctor.

Gwen

Jack!

Owen

I thought we tidied up in here.

Gwen

Did any of you see Jack on your way in?

Ianto

No. Why?

Gwen

[Arms folded, she turns to face the direction the noise came from] Something's taken him. Jack's gone.

Ianto

"And I heard but did not understand and I said, 'Master, what is the end of all these things?' And he said, 'Go, Daniel, for the things are closed up and sealed until the end of time.'" Daniel 12, verse 10.

Gwen

Sounds a bit close for comfort.

Owen

This machine's on the blink, keeps losing power. [to Ianto] Sorry, don't let me stop your portents of doom. Or have you finished?

Ianto

No. Plenty more where that came from. Abaddon, the Great Devourer, who'll lead the world into shadow.

Jack

Yeah, thanks, Ianto. I could do without the superstition; you people love any story that denies the randomness of existence.

Ianto

Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better.

Andy

Do you think this is the end of the world?

Gwen

Oh, Andy, don't be silly. Do you think the world's gonna end on your shift?

Andy

I've seen you use that smile on a lot of people.

Gwen

What smile?

Andy

That smile you use to reassure people, when deep down, you know everything's gone to shit.

Jack

[scathingly] You're a united front now. Toshiko, the poor girl who'll screw any passing alien that gives her a pendant. Owen, so strong he gets into a cage with a weevil, desperate to be mauled. Ianto, hiding a cyber-girlfriend in the basement - your three comrades here pumped bullets into her, remember?

Gwen

I've got to get Rhys back.

Jack

Yeah, 'cause you're so in love with Rhys, you spend half your time in Owen's bed.

Gwen

[punches Jack] Fuck you!

Gwen

The visions we had. We all saw people we loved. What did you see?

Jack

Nothing. There was nothing.

Gwen

Jack? What would have tempted you? What visions would have convinced you to open the Rift?

Jack

The right kind of Doctor.

Gwen

Jack?

Jack

Where are they with those coffees?

Gwen

Jack! Jack!

Gwen

Did you see Jack on your way in?

No.

Owen

I thought we tidied up in here. What's the matter?

Gwen

He was just here. Something's taken him, and Jack's gone.

Gwen

Excuse me, have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car?

Gwen

[serious] Thank you. [driving away]

Bloody Torchwood.

John

[lustfully] Oh, that's gorgeous.

Gwen

That's a poodle.

John

S'Nice!

Gwen Cooper

Can you deal with the body when it's cold?

Ianto Jones

My pleasure, unless you'll be making sushi.

Gwen Cooper

You left us, Jack!

Captain Jack Harkness

[sigh] I know, I'm sorry.

Gwen Cooper

We knew nothing, Jack!

Toshiko Sato

Where were you?

Captain Jack Harkness

[smiles] I found my Doctor.

Owen Harper

Did he fix you?

Captain Jack Harkness

What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection.

Ianto Jones

[softly] Are you going back to him?

Captain Jack Harkness

I came back for you.

Toshiko

You said we weren't allowed to use that again.

Jack

It's just a mind probe.

Ianto

Remember what happened last time you used it?

Jack

That was different. And that species has extremely high blood pressure.

Ianto

Oh, right, their heads must explode all the time.

Gwen

Jack, you can't do this. What if you're wrong? If she is human, it'll kill her.

Jack

I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is.

Toshiko

Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble.

Ianto

Or at the first sign of explodiinggg. [grimaces and mimes a seizure].

Jack

[Snaps and points at Ianto] Hey!

Will it hurt?

Jack

Yeah.

Your bedside manners are rubbish.

Gwen

You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious, apparently, so I've heard.

Ianto

Oh they are. I remember this one time...