Jack Harkness quotes from Torchwood

Jack

Thanks for the assistance.

Ianto

Any time. By the way, love the coat!

Jack

Quite excitable!

Ianto

Must be your aftershave.

Jack

I never wear any.

Ianto

You smell like that naturally?

Jack

Fifty first century pheromones, you people have no idea!

Ianto

Like a butler! I could be a butler!

Jack

We don't need a butler.

Ianto

Excuse me, dried egg on your collar!

Jack

It was a busy week!

Ianto

What exactly is your plan?

Jack

I'm gonna be the decoy.

Ianto

And it won't rip you to shreds?

Jack

Dinosaurs? Had them for breakfast. Had to. Only source of food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.

Jack

Come back with me. I've got somewhere nice and big where you can fly around.

Ianto

So you'll let the pterodactyl in and not me?!

Jack

I need a guard dog.

Ianto

I could be that!

Owen

If you're not a figment of my imagination, then I don't know what's happening anymore. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown feels like.

Jack

You're fine. It's the rest of the world that's delusional.

Jack

[irritated] Okay, this has to stop!

Ianto

No, listen to me-

Jack

I don't have time for this! Look, I don't care what your problem is, I want you out of this city by sunrise! There is no place for you here/! Go back to London, find yourself another life! Keep stalking me, and I'll wipe your memory!

Ianto

No, but the thing is-

Jack

Look, any conversation between us, no matter what the subject, is over, finished, done, forever! I'm getting back behind the wheel of that car; if you're still standing in the road, I'm gonna drive thorough you! [walks away]

Ianto

So you're not gonna help me catch this pterodactyl, then? [Jack turns around]

John

Come on! Sing along! It's our song!

Jack

We don't have a song! And if we did have a song, it wouldn't be this song!

John

[deadpan] You're no fun!

Jack

What do you want?

John

I want you to know that I love you.

Jack

Funny way of showing it.

John

No, seriously. You have to understand. [turns around] I really do love you.

John

'Cause this is gonna get nasty.

[on video] Okay. So, if you're seeing this, I guess it means I'm, well, dead. Hope it was impressive! Not crossing the road or an 'incident' with a toaster. I just wanted to say, it's okay, it really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and all those possibilities. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen. You never knew. I love you. All of you. And.... I hope I did good.

Jack

Now we carry on.

Gwen

I don't think I can. Not after this.

Jack

You can. We all can. The end is where we start from.

Ianto

Do you ever think that one day your luck'll run out? That you won't come back?

Jack

I'm a fixed point in time and space. That's what the Doctor says. I think that means it's forever.

Ianto

So, one day you'll see me die... of old age... and just keep going?

Jack

Yeah...

Ianto

We'd better make the most of it then.

Jack

Suppose...

Ianto

Like right now?

Jack

Ianto, the world could be ending.

Ianto

World's always ending. And I have missed that coat.

Jack

Rhys, do you want to take the car down to those shops by the Wharf? We need some discs for these things. Should take about 20 minutes.

Ianto

[quickly] Thirty.

Jack

30 minutes.

Rhys

I'll go later; the beans are almost done.

Jack

Beans are almost done.

Ianto

Bloody beans.

Ianto

I've only just scraped the surface, haven't I?

Jack

Ianto, that's all there is.

Ianto

No. You pretend that's all there is.

Ianto

[holds up gun] If there's a virus, there must be an anti-virus. Release it now, or I'll blow a hole in that tank, and we'll all die together.

Jack

[Joins Ianto, holds up his gun at the tank] You've made your point now stop this and we can talk!

You are dying. Even now.

Jack

What's that noise? What's it doing? We gotta get you out of here. I can survive anything, but you can't!

Ianto

It's too late. I've breathed the air.

Jack

[desperate, begins crying] There's gotta be something, there's gotta be an antidote!

You said you would fight.

Jack

Then I take it back, alright? I take it all back, but not him!

Jack

No! No, no, no, no, no. Ianto? No, no, no...

Jack

It's all my fault.

Ianto

No it's not...

Jack

Don't speak, save your breath.

Ianto

[crying] I love you.

Jack

[shakes head] Don't. Ianto? Ianto? Ianto, stay with me, Ianto, stay with me please. [shakes, desperate] Stay with me, stay with me.

Ianto

Hey, it was...Good, yeah?

Jack

Yeah.

Ianto

Don't forget me.

Jack

[shakes head] Never could.

Ianto

In a thousand years time, you won't remember me.

Jack

Yes I will Ianto. I promise, I will.

Jack

Ianto? Ianto? Don't go, don't leave me, please. Please, don't--

You will die. And tomorrow, your people will deliver the children.

Jack

[Jack looks up at the 456, the picture of tragedy: he has tears running down his face and is clutching Ianto's body. He places a gentle kiss on Ianto's lips and falls beside him.]

Ianto

You're right, he's back.

Jack

[laughs] I said so.

Gwen

Who's back?

Jack

What's he doing?

Ianto

Waiting, just like you said. He's been there twenty minutes.

Jack

Persistent.

Ianto

Good sign.

Jack

Dogmatic.

Ianto

Always a plus.

Gwen

Oh, Christ, never work with a couple, you two talk like twins! Now tell me who he is!

Ianto

Rupesh Patanjali, he saw the Hitchhiker. He's the bodies-going-missing man.

Jack

Dr. Patanjali. We need a doctor.

Gwen

What, and you just let him follow you?

Ianto

Ask about Torchwood and most people point towards the Bay.

Gwen

Oh. [Jack and Ianto grin, she laughs] You bastards. That’s exactly what you did to me the first time we met. Well, sod that! I'm promoting myself to recruitment officer.

Jack

We need a child. 'Cause we need to test those frequencies. Find the right frequency, and we can find out who's transmitting.

Ianto

Where'd you get a child, though? I could find you lasers and weevils and hitchhikers, but kids...