[on the Stig]
JeremySome say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Played by Jeremy Clarkson
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 1,331 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Richard Hammond (406), James May (323), Stephen Ladyman (5)
Lines by Jeremy Clarkson 735
Jeremy[On Richard's "Fake" Ferrari (a Dino 308)]
JeremyThere's no point going "I've bought my shirt at 'George' " [the ASDA-Walmart in-house clothing brand]; it's from ASDA! You've bought a 'George' car!
[Seeing James arriving on the scene with an AA truck, complete with the Lamborghini Urraco strapped to the truck's bed]
JeremyJames had bought an AA truck! [Jeremy and Richard began to dissolve into laughter, as James hops off from the truck] James, we told you to buy a mid-engined, Italian supercar, not a truck.
(When they are performing the challenge of parking in Marlborough)
Jeremy (Hammond is attempting to park): Are you, uh, looking where you're going or using the force
[...]
Richard (Clarkson is attempting to park): Is it ... Is it heavy, mate?
JeremyOooooh.
[...]
(May is fetching his car)
Jeremy (voiceover): Because James' car is so big and hard to see out of, we decided to "help" him out a little.
(Jeremy is moving one of the cars)
Richard: You evil man! That's brilliant! That's genius.
[Jeremy has won two points for making his insurance quote two-hundred under the £500 bench-mark.]
JeremyTwo points - for being a doctor!
[After they declared no one won the challenge]
JeremyBut no matter, we did end up with a "Top Gear Top Tip", okay? Yes, you can buy a supercar for less than ten thousand pounds, but for the love of God, don't!!
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: We drive the new Bugatti in Italy; we drive the new Bugatti in Switzerland and France; and we drive the new Bugatti in London.
[On the News]
JeremyA cow does more global warming than a Range Rover.
[Introducing Nigel Mansell]
JeremyHe was the Formula 1 world champion and the American Indy car champion at the same time, and he was also Britain's highest paid sportsman, and he achieved all this despite being born with a moustache.
[on Nigel Mansell's moustache]
JeremyI always thought it was interchangeable with your eyebrows.
JeremyCaptain Slow is up there in his washing machine. I will not be beaten by a washing machine.
JeremyThat isn't so much a throttle that my right foot's on, it's a hyperspace button. World's going backwards!
[on the phone with an insurance company]
JeremyHello, are you the people who can "quote me happy" ?
[after the above attempt failed]
JeremyI've spent half an hour talking to a man, telling him where you were born, how many children you've got, where you live, what your postcode is, and then he says "Is a Bugatti a Rover?". Well, they've quoted me miserable there.
[on the Veyron]
JeremyEven though there are these huge cooling ducts here and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has ten radiators. Three to cool the engine itself, three for the intercoolers, one to do the axle oil, one to do the engine oil and one to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise that rear spoiler. It's got more radiators than my house!
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