[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Which is faster, a Renault or a bicycle? Ellen MacArthur sets sail round our track; And how much supercar do you get for 10,000 pounds?
“December 4th, 2005” · Season 7, Episode 4
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (15), James May (11), Richard Hammond (6)
[on the Stig]
Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[On Richard's "Fake" Ferrari (a Dino 308)]
There's no point going "I've bought my shirt at 'George' " [the ASDA-Walmart in-house clothing brand]; it's from ASDA! You've bought a 'George' car!
[Seeing James arriving on the scene with an AA truck, complete with the Lamborghini Urraco strapped to the truck's bed]
James had bought an AA truck! [Jeremy and Richard began to dissolve into laughter, as James hops off from the truck] James, we told you to buy a mid-engined, Italian supercar, not a truck.
[Beginning the challenge]
Your Seventies supercar mission for today is to drive from Bristol to "Spearmint Rhino", in Slough.
That's a lap-dancing club.
[apparently puzzled] Is it?
[mocks his attempt to appear innocent] Oh, you don't know...?!
[to a pedestrian] Eh? No it's not a kit car, it's a Lamborghini... Philistine!
(When they are performing the challenge of parking in Marlborough)
Jeremy (Hammond is attempting to park): Are you, uh, looking where you're going or using the force
[...]
Richard (Clarkson is attempting to park): Is it ... Is it heavy, mate?
Oooooh.
[...]
(May is fetching his car)
Jeremy (voiceover): Because James' car is so big and hard to see out of, we decided to "help" him out a little.
(Jeremy is moving one of the cars)
Richard: You evil man! That's brilliant! That's genius.
[on his Lamborghini's chronic electrical problems]
The Italians invented electricity, as we all know.
[asked if his Lambo' had broken down]
No, I just had to stop and fill it up with electricity.
[on his Lambo]
Right, the battery is discharging, the oil temperature is very high, the oil pressure is very low, the engine temperature is off the end of the scale, I'm running out of petrol... but the clock is correct!
[after Richard's Dino has been tested against its original output on a rolling road]
Sixty-one Horsepower has escaped; that's how many a year?
Think of it another way, that's a... that's a VW Lupo that has escaped from your engine!
[In Lisbon, about the full-face helmeted downhill biker he was about to race in a Renault Clio]
Now all that was left was to psyche out [Darth Vader].
It does still look a bit like the inside of Jacques Cousteau's wetsuit in here.
[After losing a race to a downhill biker in Lisbon]
Permission to say "Oh, cock" on BBC Two.
[Back in the studio after the first part of the Cheap Car Challenge...]
We're going to be picking that up later on, but for now, it's time to update our "ITALIAN MID-ENGINED SUPERCARS FOR LESS THAN A SECOND-HAND MONDEO CHALLENGE"...
...chart!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.