Liana quotes from This Movie Sucks!

Whoa! Finnegan's seen better days.

You would think the kid would be more interested in looking for a wet nap.

I will just wander in high heels.

In short: Yes, this a shit hole, but it is our shit hole!

On the brighter side, we are coming to you from a studio with a proud history of classic TV.

In fact, they've shared some of that heritage with us by leaving us a coffee maker from The Hilarious House of Frightenstein. In fact, it's the same coffee. Feel free to drink it, but sign the waiver first.

If we drink it do we dance like Igor all psychedelic?

Actually no, you just end up spasming from toxic shock.

Like every good movie house, we have a concession stand. Right over there.

You mean the vending machines?

Yeah, the vending machines are our concession stand.

Wasn't that in the lobby earlier?

It was doing no good there.

Ed, did you steal them from the lobby?

I borrowed it.

Where did you learn to do that, prison?

What?

I don't know, that's always a funny thing to ask somebody.

No, no it's not. I just made it up.

You know they make wine in prison!

So as the first scene ended, the old man fired Barney, the plantation manager. Barney likes to think that's because he has been romancing the man's wife. He doesn't think its because of the fact he screws off mid-afternoon and lets his workers die.

And doesn't care.

And has sex with one of the employees under-age daughter. He doesn't think that ought to be a firing condition.

Orbit EF? Gee!

Oh, you went there.

So he lets the girl get taken away while the boy and man get safely into the rocket ship.

This might be a good time to point out that Japanese culture values boys over girls.

What the hell, he's shooting people?

Maybe he got tired of pushing the same guys away over and over and over.

Why are they shooting him one at a time?

There gentlemanly.

Dumbest... aliens... ever! There is no way these guys were smart enough to make a spaceship, I think they found a rocket ship and a copy of Mein Kampf.

When are they going to notice they outnumber her?

That would require counting.

Is this a bad time to point out the ship looks like a sex toy?

Funny you should mention that, as they talk about thrusts... When a guy in a suit like that starts talking about thrust, I get nervous.

Well, you can recognize from the quality graphics it is going to be a great film.

Don't be shallow.

Oh no! Stock footage of an alligator! Ah! Stock footage of a snake!

Ah! Wait a minutes, he's scared of parrots?

Maybe he has a fear of birds based on that unnatural white stuff in his hair.