“May 28, 2010 - Bride of the Gorilla” quotes from This Movie Sucks!

Before we go any further, we should clarify the point of the show. There are movies that suck, then there are movies that suck!

In short: Yes, this a shit hole, but it is our shit hole!

On the brighter side, we are coming to you from a studio with a proud history of classic TV.

In fact, they've shared some of that heritage with us by leaving us a coffee maker from The Hilarious House of Frightenstein. In fact, it's the same coffee. Feel free to drink it, but sign the waiver first.

If we drink it do we dance like Igor all psychedelic?

Actually no, you just end up spasming from toxic shock.

Freeze! Did he just talk fondly of slavery?

Yeah.

All right, just wanted to make sure it wasn't me. Roll it!

That's not cola, that's the colour of the water there.

Great dinner conversation, smallpox.

Like every good movie house, we have a concession stand. Right over there.

You mean the vending machines?

Yeah, the vending machines are our concession stand.

Wasn't that in the lobby earlier?

It was doing no good there.

Ed, did you steal them from the lobby?

I borrowed it.

Where did you learn to do that, prison?

What?

I don't know, that's always a funny thing to ask somebody.

No, no it's not. I just made it up.

You know they make wine in prison!

So as the first scene ended, the old man fired Barney, the plantation manager. Barney likes to think that's because he has been romancing the man's wife. He doesn't think its because of the fact he screws off mid-afternoon and lets his workers die.

And doesn't care.

And has sex with one of the employees under-age daughter. He doesn't think that ought to be a firing condition.