Ron Sparks quotes from This Movie Sucks!

That's not cola, that's the colour of the water there.

I just like oven mitts... you got a problem with that?

This doesn't look like Payless Shoes. Damn you MapQuest!

Wouldn't there be residual chemicals in those chemical barrels?

Let's see, there were 300 of them, we killed three, and six just left... I think it's safe!

Why is Philip Glass giving a recital at cemetery in Mexico?

I guess time is money, but they are measuring it in pesos.

With the power use spiking like that, cops are going to think he's running a grow op.

The phone didn’t work so I will just go into the house in case the other phone’s work.

This is the same plate tree.

Look to your right, look right, look right, look right to see the bad guy!

Freeze! Did he just talk fondly of slavery?

Yeah.

All right, just wanted to make sure it wasn't me. Roll it!

Where did you learn to do that, prison?

What?

I don't know, that's always a funny thing to ask somebody.

No, no it's not. I just made it up.

You know they make wine in prison!

Ignore the sturdy trees, and pick the sapling. He's only what? 280?

Good thinking.

He got his shoe!

That's a fair trade. A single used shoe for a gold breastplate and bracelet. That's what the conquistadors gave them.