The X-Files quotes

(annoyed) No, I'm not, but I'd like to.

(holds up badge) Deputy...

DGDeputy Greer

(surprised) The FBI? For real?

(smiles tightly; nods) I'll be in the car.

View quote →

(in nature documentary narrator voice) If the sea is where life began - where our ancestors first walked ashore - then who's to say what new life may be developing in its uncharted depths.

You know what? Maybe you are a member of the Manson family. (he smiles)

View quote →

Sir, it's important that we evacuate the area. We're FBI agents and we need to get to where we're going.

RBRoad block deputy

(sighing) Don't all the nuts roll downhill to Florida.

(annoyed) I'd be happy to show you my ID-

(talking over her; rolls up window) Thank you very much, sir. I appreciate the concern. (pissed off; turns the car and drives quickly)

Mulder.

I was just one "howdy do" over the line.

View quote →

You know, Scully, someday we're going to look back on this and we're going to laugh. We'll just think of it as, uh... you know man pitted against the forces of nature. Think of it as a test of our mettle.

I don't need my mettle tested.

View quote →

You don't know this man, mister...?

Walter

Uh, Suarez. Walter Suarez. (shines light at looter) Uh, no. He's not with you?

LLooter

(looks at Mulder awkwardly) I'll put it back.

Yeah. Everything in your pockets, too.

View quote →

AAngela

(pushing toward bathroom) Supertanker coming through.

Walter

Here, Angela, you can't go in there.

AAngela

My bladder is pressing against your unborn child, Walter. He's going to have a head like a tortilla.

Walter

This thing is in the plumbing!

AAngela

The volume alone could push it right back out to sea!

View quote →

Oh, it's amazing. It's truly amazing.

What's that?

That you could come here in the face of a hurricane chasing a sea monster, yet, and end up bringing a new life into the world. And then slaying the monster and save this one's life as he was quite literally circling down the drain.

(embarrassed) She didn't save my life, really...

Oh, yes, she did. Yes, with a gun to her head, no less.

(rationalizing) Well, you wouldn't have known to go out in the rain if I hadn't pointed it out that to you that it was the fresh water that killed the organism...

No. No no no no... I-I saw the Shipley's cat!

Uh, well, I-I can't swallow that... No, no, no.

I saw the cat, which had been saved which had been in the washing machine. And the Shipleys had boarded up their house which means that the only way they could have vanished was if the creature came up through the plumbing in a backwash of seawater. Seawater. And then the deputy who vanished from a bathtub full of Epsom salts.

If Agent Scully had not been there with you, I shudder to think what would have happened to you. I'd say you owe her your life. It takes a big man to admit this, but... if I had had someone as savvy as her by my side all those years ago in the X-Files I might not have retired. (both Mulder and Scully look a little embarrassed)

View quote →

I know. I missed the meeting.

You didn't miss the meeting. You're extraordinarily late for the meeting. It's still going on.

What are you doing down here?

We took a short break and I came looking for you. What are you doing down here, Mulder?

(sarcastically) I'm having the best damn day of my life. Any moment I'm about to burst into song. (dryly) "Zip a dee doo dah." My, uh, waterbed sprung a leak and shorted out my alarm clock. (Scully looks surprised) My cell phone got wet and crapped out on me and the check I wrote my landlord to cover the, uh, damages is going to bounce if I don't deposit my pay. You ever have one of those days, Scully?

Since I've been working here? Yeah. When did you get a waterbed, Mulder?

(he pauses, thinking; ignores the question) Bank's just down the street. I'll be back in ten. Cover for me, will you? (leaves)

(to herself) When do I not?

View quote →

I know. I missed the meeting.

Well, not yet, but, uh, only because it's the longest in FBI history.

What are you doing down here, then?

Well, I came looking for you. We took a five-minute break (looks at watch) three minutes ago. Mulder, your cell phone's not working. (He glances up at her.) Did you oversleep?

Scully, did you ever have one of those days you wish you could rewind and start all over again from the beginning?

Yes. Frequently. But, I mean, who's... who's to say that if you did rewind it and start over again that it wouldn't end up exactly the same way?

So you think it's all just fate? We have no free will?

No, I think that we're free to be the people that we are - good, bad or indifferent. I think that it's our character that determines our fate.

And all the rest is just preordained? I don't buy that. There's too many variables. Too many forks in the road. I meant to be on time to work this morning but my waterbed springs a leak flooding my apartment (Scully looks surprised) and the apartment below me so that makes me late for the meeting. Then I realize I got to write a check to cover the damages to my landlord but, as I'm walking to work, I realize that that's gonna bounce unless I deposit my pay. So now I got to go to the bank, which makes me even later.

(curious) Since when did you get a waterbed?

I might just as easily not have a waterbed then I'd be on time for this meeting. You might just as easily have stayed in medicine and not gone into the FBI, and then we would never have met. Blah, blah, blah...

Fate.

Free will. With every choice, you change your fate.

View quote →

I just got the weirdest sensation of deja vu. I've been having it all morning.

Well, that's fairly common.

Yeah, but never to this degree. I mean, I woke up, I opened my eyes I was soaking wet... (Scully looks confused and curious) It's a long story but I had the distinct sensation that I had lived that moment before.

Well, you may have. Did you do a lot of drinking in college?

View quote →

(about the very strict neighborhood) Oh, yeah. Nothing weird going on around here. (following Scully into the house) Hey... ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me carry you over the threshold.

View quote →

PVPat Verlander

(very friendly) You must be the Petries. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to The Falls.

(shaking her hand) I'm Rob (puts hands on Scully's shoulders) and this is my lovely wife, Laura.

PVPat Verlander

Rob and Laura Petrie.

We pronounce it "Pee-trie," actually.

PVPat Verlander

Oh.

(cheerfully) Like the dish!

View quote →

(videotaping the house) The local police departments were at a dead end so they turned to the FBI. AD Skinner, in assigning us this case thought a fruitful approach to the investigation would be if we went undercover posing as prospective home buyers as this planned community would seem to hide a dark, possibly murderous conspiracy of silence.

(gets up close to the camera; seductively) You want to make that honeymoon video now?

Rob and Laura Petrie?

"Pee-trie."

Mulder, if we ever go undercover again I get to choose the names, okay?

Fine.

It just tells me that you're not taking this seriously.

I'm taking it seriously. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first catch back on the X-Files. This isn't an X-File.

Sure it is. It's unexplained. What do you want, aliens? Tractor beams?

Wow. Admit it: you just want to play house. (demanding, jokingly) Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich! (She stops, smiles slightly; throws her latex gloves at at his head; heads toward the door) Did I not make myself clear?

View quote →

Mulder...