“Agua Mala” quotes from The X-Files

Oh, no. You're going to kill me.

Mulder

(annoyed) No, I'm not, but I'd like to.

Scully

(holds up badge) Deputy...

(surprised) The FBI? For real?

Scully

(smiles tightly; nods) I'll be in the car.

Mulder

(in nature documentary narrator voice) If the sea is where life began - where our ancestors first walked ashore - then who's to say what new life may be developing in its uncharted depths.

Scully

You know what? Maybe you are a member of the Manson family. (he smiles)

Scully

Sir, it's important that we evacuate the area. We're FBI agents and we need to get to where we're going.

(sighing) Don't all the nuts roll downhill to Florida.

Scully

(annoyed) I'd be happy to show you my ID-

Mulder

(talking over her; rolls up window) Thank you very much, sir. I appreciate the concern. (pissed off; turns the car and drives quickly)

Scully

Mulder.

Mulder

I was just one "howdy do" over the line.

Mulder

You know, Scully, someday we're going to look back on this and we're going to laugh. We'll just think of it as, uh... you know man pitted against the forces of nature. Think of it as a test of our mettle.

Scully

I don't need my mettle tested.

Mulder

You don't know this man, mister...?

Walter

Uh, Suarez. Walter Suarez. (shines light at looter) Uh, no. He's not with you?

(looks at Mulder awkwardly) I'll put it back.

Mulder

Yeah. Everything in your pockets, too.

(pushing toward bathroom) Supertanker coming through.

Walter

Here, Angela, you can't go in there.

My bladder is pressing against your unborn child, Walter. He's going to have a head like a tortilla.

Walter

This thing is in the plumbing!

The volume alone could push it right back out to sea!

Oh, it's amazing. It's truly amazing.

Scully

What's that?

That you could come here in the face of a hurricane chasing a sea monster, yet, and end up bringing a new life into the world. And then slaying the monster and save this one's life as he was quite literally circling down the drain.

Mulder

(embarrassed) She didn't save my life, really...

Oh, yes, she did. Yes, with a gun to her head, no less.

Scully

(rationalizing) Well, you wouldn't have known to go out in the rain if I hadn't pointed it out that to you that it was the fresh water that killed the organism...

Mulder

No. No no no no... I-I saw the Shipley's cat!

Uh, well, I-I can't swallow that... No, no, no.

Mulder

I saw the cat, which had been saved which had been in the washing machine. And the Shipleys had boarded up their house which means that the only way they could have vanished was if the creature came up through the plumbing in a backwash of seawater. Seawater. And then the deputy who vanished from a bathtub full of Epsom salts.

If Agent Scully had not been there with you, I shudder to think what would have happened to you. I'd say you owe her your life. It takes a big man to admit this, but... if I had had someone as savvy as her by my side all those years ago in the X-Files I might not have retired. (both Mulder and Scully look a little embarrassed)