FFarmer
I figure I got better things to do with my fertilizer than going around blowing government buildings sky high.
Yeah. Well, as we said, sir this is just routine.
(quietly to Scully) So routine, it numbs the mind.
S6 E2Drive
(firmly) Mulder, we're not going to Nevada.
Come on, Scully. Just one quick side trip.
No. Sorry, Mulder. We have a whole new assignment.
Running down people that buy fertilizer? This is scut work, bozo work - the FBI equivalent of being made to wear an orange jumpsuit and pick up trash by the side of the highway. They mean to humiliate us.
Look, Mulder, like it or not, humiliated or not, we're on domestic terrorism now and, yes, this is... This is a punishment, but if we want to get back to where we want to be we have to follow orders. We can't freelance.
You saw that news report. What did you make of that?
I think that the obvious assumption is that the woman was shot, regardless of what the police say. Maybe it was a sniper.
In the words of their captain, "she just sort of popped." And what about this guy who supposedly tried to take her hostage, her husband? Looked to me like he was trying to warn the cops before she died. Now, the sun will rise in America tomorrow regardless of whether or not we're at yet another farm investigating yet another enormous pile of doo-doo. We can be in and out in a day. Nobody has to know.
[Scully seems to consider the idea. Mulder waggles his eyebrows at her.]
[Mulder stops the car at a stoplight; Crump screams.]
What are you doing?!
What? What am I doing?
What the hell are you doing?!
(sarcastically) I'm composing a sonnet. I'm slowing down for a light!
Crump? Crump, what else can you tell me about what's happening to you?
Mr. Crump. You call me by my last name, you say "mister" in front of it.
"Mister." I got you.
Not Crump. Mr. Crump.
I can think of something else I'd like to call you. I could put "mister" in front of that, too if you'd like.
You know, what kind of name is Mulder, anyway? What is that, like... like, Jewish?
(disbelieving) Excuse me?
Jewish... It is, right?
(annoyed) It's Mr. Mulder to you, you peanut-picking bastard. Now, Mr. Crump what can you tell me about what's happening to you?
On behalf of the International Jewish Conspiracy, I've got to inform you that we're almost out of gas.
Hey, uh... The Jew stuff? No offense. I mean, uh... A man can't help who he's born to.
(sarcastic) That was an apology, right? Gee, I don't know if I can see to drive my eyes are tearing up so bad.
Lieutenant Breil? My name is Dana Scully. I called in regard to the electrical equipment the Navy is maintaining in the town of Montello.
LBLieutenant Breil
Right. I don't know if there's been some miscommunication between you and your Washington office, but, uh...
My Washington office?
LBLieutenant Breil
Yeah. I was under the impression that I'd explained this to the FCC's satisfaction.
Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry to make you run through it again, uh... For my official report to the, uh... To the FCC.
(on phone) Mulder, are you okay?
(on phone) Yeah, aside from terminal cell phone withdrawal... That, and I got to pee.
AKAD Kersh
"Justice department jet: 2.6 turbine hours round trip at $1,400 an hour. Car rental - over-mileage, out-of-state use penalties: $346. Compensation to one Walter R. Duncan for unauthorized use of his 1968 Caprice station wagon: $500."
Why don't you bill me?
AKAD Kersh
I'll bill your partner instead. You too obviously relish the role of martyr.
Okay. So are we done here? Back to the bozo work investigating huge piles of manure?
AKAD Kersh
You can always quit.
[Mulder looks at Scully; leaves the office, slams door.]
Sir, Agent Mulder has been through a lot.
AKAD Kersh
And you apologize for him a lot. I've noticed that about you.
I'm not apologizing for this. Because of his work, the DOD is shutting down their antenna array in northeastern Nevada. Our participation in this case has saved lives.
AKAD Kersh
I don't see you proving that. The Department of Defense admits no culpability whatsoever. Furthermore, they say the closing of the facility was coincidental.
("yeah, right" tone) Right.
AKAD Kersh
Don't misunderstand me, Agent. I don't care if you and your partner saved a school bus full of doe-eyed urchins on their way to Sunday Bible camp. You no longer investigate X-Files. You are done and the sooner you and Mulder come to recognize that, the better for both of you.
(mutters angrily as she leaves) Big piles of manure.
S6 E3Triangle
My name's Mulder. Fox Mulder.
SSailor
That a name? Mulder?
I got ID in my pocket.
S2Sailor 2
(pulling out and reading Mulder's badge) "Fox Mulder, Federal Bureau of Investigation." Sorry, mate, never heard of it! [They begin dragging Mulder below decks.]
(surprised) Never heard of it?
SSailor
Tell you what we do with foxes. (laugh) Care to know?
You never heard of the FBI?
FMFirst Mate
Sir, the Germans, sir. They've taken control of the bridge. Steering a course for their homeland.
MCaptain Marburg
Not on the watch of captain Yip Harburg, they're not. Lock the prisoner up in here.
It's okay. The war's over. Let them take you to Germany. They make nice cars.
[They all ignore him and leave.]
(to himself, grinning, thrilled) This is unbelievable.
[Mulder is moving across the dancefloor when one of the dancing couples bumps into him.]
WWOMAN
(accusingly) Excuse me.
[Mulder sees that the woman is a 1939 version of Scully, wearing a long dress and dancing with an older man. He grabs her arm, surprised.]
Scully?
1S1939 Scully
(boldly) I suggest you get your Nazi paws off me before you get one in the kisser.
(lifting his hat so she can see him) Scully, it's me, Mulder.
1S1939 Scully
Oh, you speak English, do you? Well, how'd you like to see the stars on the American flag? (holds her fist in front of his face)
(hurt, confused) I'm not a Nazi.
1S1939 Scully
Oh, sure. You just look like one, right? (returns to dancing)
I had to steal this uniform! (putting his hands on her back) Scully?
SSinger
(stops singing, points at Mulder) Hier ist der Mann, den sie wollen! (Here is the man you want!)
NNazi
(fires gun into air) Halt! Hände hoch! Hände hoch! (Stop! Hands up! Hands up!)
[Mulder looks at 1939 Scully for help.]
1S1939 Scully
(translating) He said, "Put your hands up."
[Mulder puts his hands up; is grabbed by Nazis]
(to 1939 Scully) You see, I told you.
[Scully sitting at her desk; the Lone Gunmen approach.]
What are you guys doing here?
Mulder's in trouble.
Big trouble.
What do you mean?
Let's take a walk.
Okay, where are we going?
The walls have ears.
(impatient) I have ears. Will you tell me what's going on?
Sir, I couldn't waste time explaining myself to your assistant.
Tell me what is so urgent.
It's about Agent Mulder. He's done something incredibly rash.
I can't.
He may be lost at sea.
I can't, Agent Scully.
You can't what?
I can't help you. There's nothing I can do.
This isn't for me; it's for Agent Mulder.
My hands are tied. I'm not your direct superior any longer.
Don't you want to know what this is about?
[They walk back toward door.]
No, I don't. I don't even what to hear it.
(pleading) Sir, this is about a man's life.
(louder) I'm not allowed to have contact with you - any contact with either you or Mulder.
SSSkinner's secretary
She walked right past me, sir.
[Scully closes the door between the offices.]
You're out of line, Scully.
No, sir, you're out of line. I'm sorry, but I'm coming to you for help and I've got nowhere else to go. I would hope that after everything that we have been through that you would at least have the courtesy and the decency and not to mention the respect to listen to what I have to say. Now, all I need is information. (Skinner takes note; glances at it.) You don't have to do anything else. Look, sir, if you know anybody at the Office of Naval Intelligence it would be of great help.
(pauses; hands back the note) I could lose my job, my pension, I could even be subject to legal action.
[Scully sighs, exasperated; Skinner slams the door and holds it shut.]
Use your head, Scully. It'll save your ass.
Save your own ass, sir. You'll save your head along with it.
[Scully exits the elevator and enters the X-Files office.]
(direct) I want you to do me a favor. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?
[Spender, alone, gets up and comes over to her]
You okay, Agent Scully?
No, I'm not. I'm a gun ready to go off so don't test me, Spender. Don't even think about trying to weasel me.
What is it that you need?
(writing it down) Navy AWACS SLAR 100 K swath. South-southeast of Bermuda. I am looking for a boat, maybe a ship. 1939 luxury liner.
1939?
Don't ask too many questions. I don't care what you do or who you do or who you have to grease, I need that information and I need it now. Are we clear on that?
Crystal.
And, Agent Spender... If you're not back in a hurry I am going to hunt you down, and so help me God... (makes a fist)
Right.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The X-Files pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.