Dana Scully quotes from The X-Files

Scully

This looks like an X-File.

Let's not get carried away. I'm going to solve these murders, but what I would like from you is to go over the case histories, maybe come down to the crime scene.

Scully

Do you want me to ask Mulder?

Okay, if he wants to come and do you a favour, great. But make sure he knows this is my case. Dana, if I can break a case like this one, I'll be getting my bump up the ladder. And you, maybe you won't have to be Mrs. Spooky any more.

Mulder

Why would I make them so uncomfortable?

Scully

It probably has to do with your reputation.

Mulder

Reputation? I have a reputation?

Scully

Mulder, look, Colton plays by the book and you don't. They feel your methods, your theories are...

Mulder

Spooky? Do you think I'm spooky?

Scully

Mulder, they don't want you involved, they don't want to hear your theories. That's why Blevins has you hidden away down here.

Mulder

You're down here, too.

Scully

Oh my god, Mulder. It smells like... I think it's bile.

Mulder

Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Scully

Is this what it takes to climb the ladder, Colton?

All the way to the top.

Scully

Then I can't wait 'til you fall off and land on your ass.

Scully

I just think it's a good idea not to antagonise local law enforcement.

Mulder

Who, me? I'm Mr. Congeniality.

Scully

You never know, we might need his help one of these days.

Mulder

I'll send him a bundt cake.

Mulder

Great.

Scully

What?

Mulder

You shouldn't have told them. They have no jurisdiction.

Scully

Mulder... They're NSA. They think the boy may be a threat to national security.

Mulder

Come on. How could an eight year old boy, who can barely multiply, be a threat to national security? And people call me paranoid.

Scully

At least if we had a legitimate source...

Mulder

This is the essence of science. You ask an impertinent question and you're on your way to a pertinent answer.

Scully

Mulder, it's the same story I've heard since I was a kid. It's a folk tale, a myth.

Mulder

I heard the same story when I was a kid too. Funny thing is I believed it. Fact is we've got a cannibalised body in New Jersey. Someone or something out there is hungry.

What about that guy you work with?

Scully

Mulder?

I thought you said he was cute.

Scully

He's a jerk. He's not a jerk. He's, um... he's obsessed with his work.

Mulder

What if it is a female, Scully? How close is she to you or me? Does she feel emotion? Or are her days just spent looking for food?

Scully

Maybe, she spends her day shopping.

Mulder

Eight million years out of Africa, I don't think we're all that different.

Scully

Mulder, we've put men into space, we've built computers that work faster than the human mind.

Mulder

While we over-populate the world and create new technologies to kill each other with. Maybe we're just beasts with big brains.

Mulder

Who was that on the phone?

Scully

A guy.

Mulder

A guy. Same guy as the guy you had dinner with the other night?

Scully

Same guy.

Mulder

You going to have dinner with him again?

Scully

I don't think so.

Mulder

No interest?

Scully

Not at this time.

Mulder

[walking to the door] What are you doing?

Scully

Going with you to the Smithsonian.

Mulder

Don't you have a life, Scully?

Scully

Keep it up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman.

Mulder

Eight million years out of Africa...

Scully

[holding door open for him] And look who's holding the door.

Scully

He was perfectly in his rights. The FBI has no overriding jurisdiction in a murder case. Anyway, you'd feel the same way if someone was horning in on your work.

Mulder

Yeah, chances are he's without a clue. He'll probably be scratching his head when they bring the next body in.

Scully

You missed your opening Mulder, you could've really humiliated him and er, told him who the perpetrator was, The Jersey Devil.

Mulder

Hey whatta you say, we grab a hotel, take in a floor show, drop a few quarters in the slots, do a little digging on this case.

Scully

You're kidding, right?

Mulder

OK, we can skip the floor show.

Scully

I think Howard Graves faked his own death.

Mulder

Do you know how hard it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off: Elvis.

Scully

Are you saying Lauren Kyte crashed our car?

Mulder

Either that or a poltergeist.

Scully

They're heeeere...