Dana Scully quotes from The X-Files

Scully

Jake Conroy, age 30. He was employed as a customs agent by the Federal Government. The bite marks match those of the victims on the Chinese freighter. In this case, it bit off the man's hand. There's some talk in the house that he may be involved in the theft of the animal and that it turned on him.

Mulder

Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Mulder

I think we're speaking in too common terms about an animal we're calling a dog but which displays none of the behavior of man's best friend.

Scully

You mean covering up crime scenes?

Mulder

(smiles) You get a biscuit, Scully.

You two looking for Karin about boarding?

Mulder

No, it's actually more of a behavior problem.

Scully

(glancing up at Mulder) Yeah, he doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture.

Scully

(reading some of Karin's book titles) Ah. "The Wolf Inside." "Dogs Don't Lie." "Better Than Human." (pause) "Better Than Human?"

Mulder

(shrugging apologetically) She's not a real people person.

Mulder

Everything okay, Scully?

Scully

How well do you know this woman, Mulder?

Mulder

How well do you know anybody you meet on the Internet? She likes to talk.

Scully

Well, I question her motives.

Mulder

You're suggesting that this case was a way to get me out here, to meet me? (no response; Mulder smiles) I'm flattered, but, no. I don't know this woman. I'd go out on a limb and say there's no way in hell she has anything to do with those four people being dead.

Scully

She's enamored of you, Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too. (They share a look.)

Where's Fox?

Scully

Continuing his investigation.

You're not working together?

Scully

No. This is my investigation.

Of...?

Scully

You.

I have no idea what you mean.

Scully

I thought at first that they were eccentricities or affectations - the dark, the clothes - but it's photosensitivity. Your sleeves cover up skin lesions. It's why you're here amongst the humans instead of out in the field. Systemic lupus erythematosus.

Lupus... From the Latin for "wolf." Ironic, isn't it?

Scully

Ironic or perverse?

I've ignored the symptoms for years. I've always felt more like a wolf than a person.

Scully

But not with Mulder. With Mulder, you found somebody you could communicate with.... someone who challenged you... But that wasn't enough. You needed to lure him out here.

(flatly) I lack your feminine wiles.

Scully

(looks away for a moment) You don't believe it, do you - not for a minute - that there's an animal out there killing?

I don't believe that this man, Dr. Detweiler, ever caught it. I lived in Asia. I know about the Wanshang Dhole and if it survived for over a century it was because it was more cunning than man, more cunning than this man Detweiler ever dreamed of.

Scully

More cunning than you? (Karin looks surprised; Scully warns her) I'm watching you.

You watch... But you don't see.

Mulder

Through some blood curse, this man undergoes some kind of nocturnal transformation. He becomes the same shape-shifting trickster as that mythical dog.

Scully

So, what is he going to do? Walk in here, skitter across the linoleum and pee in the corners?

Mulder

It's about territoriality. He's going to come back here tonight to make sure his dominance isn't challenged. He's going to put down the threat he failed to eliminate when he attacked Cahn. Karin Berquist confirmed it.

Scully

Mulder, the only thing Karin Berquist is interested in is you. (he chuckles dismissively) You're kidding yourself if you think that she hasn't manipulated this entire situation for her own purposes.

Scully

(about the body, chopped in half) Should we arrest David Copperfield?

Mulder

(seriously) Yes, we should... but not for this.

Scully

I don't know. It's not a simple bisection. There's a considerable amount of his abdomen missing. I mean, it almost looks like a burning but it's too localized. Maybe an industrial acid.

Mulder

(looking at the report) There's, um... no acid found in his office.

Scully

Oh. (long pause; seriously) Spontaneous human combustion.

Mulder

(grinning happily in disbelief) Scully...!

Scully

Well, isn't that where you're going with this?

Mulder

(smiling) "Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion."

Scully

(defensive) Mulder, there are one or two somewhat well-documented cases. (He says nothing; looks off to the side and nods thoughtfully; she sighs) Mulder, shut up. (He tries to look innocent and totally fails)

Phillip Padgett

I often come here to look at this painting. It's called "My Divine Heart" after the miracle of Saint Margaret Mary. Do you know the story... The revelation of the Sacred Heart? Christ came to Margaret Mary his heart so inflamed with love that it was no longer able to contain its burning flames of charity. Margaret Mary... so filled with divine love herself, asked the Lord to take her heart... and so he did placing it alongside his until it burned with the flames of his passion. Then he restored it to Margaret Mary sealing her wound with the touch of his blessed hand.

Scully

Why are you telling me this?

Phillip Padgett

You came here specifically to see this painting, didn't you?

Scully

Yes. How did you know that?

Phillip Padgett

I saw you enter. The way you knew right where it was.

Scully

I know you. You live next to somebody I work with. Why are you following me?

Phillip Padgett

I'm not. I'd only imagined that you'd come here today.

Scully

You imagined it.

Phillip Padgett

Yes.

Scully

(dryly) Yeah.

Phillip Padgett

I'm a writer. That's what I do - imagine how people behave. I have to admit I've noticed you. I do that... Notice people. I saw that you wear a gold cross around your neck so I was taking a chance with the painting - explaining something you may have already known. I saw Georgetown parking permits on your car dating from 1993 and a government-exempt sticker that lets you park anywhere you like. You don't live in this area but as a federal employee, you have reason to frequent it. You're fit, with muscular calves so you must exercise or run. There's a popular running route right nearby that you might use at lunch or after work. You'd have noticed this church in passing and though parking is always a problem in this part of town your special privileges would make it easy to visit... not as a place of worship but because you have an appreciation for architecture and the arts... and while the grandeur is what you'd take away from your visit, this painting's religious symbolism would have left a subconscious impression jogged by the gift you received this morning.

Phillip Padgett

I have to admit to a secret attraction. (she looks away and rolls her eyes) I'm sorry I didn't include a note explaining that but you didn't know me then.

Scully

Yeah, and I don't know you now and I don't care to.

Phillip Padgett

I see this is making you uncomfortable (she rolls her eyes, like "obviously") and I'm sorry. It's just that I'm taken with you. That never happens to me. We're alike that way.

Phillip Padgett

Best not to question it. (pause) See? You are curious about me.

Scully

Well, you lead a curious life.

Phillip Padgett

It's not so different from yours I imagine - lonely.

Scully

(looks away) Loneliness is a choice.

Scully

Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?

Mulder

I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere. (Scully opens a paper bag and takes out something that looks like ice cream) Did you bring enough ice cream to share with the rest of the class?

Scully

(smugly, eating) It's not ice cream. It's a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.

Mulder

(returning to his book, disgusted) Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.

Scully

(continuing to eat) Oh, you're Mr. Live-it-up. Mulder, you're really Mr. Squeeze-every-last-drop-out-of-this-sweet-life, aren't you? On this precious Saturday you've got us grabbing life by the testes - stealing reference books from the FBI library in order to go through New Mexico newspaper obituaries for the years 1940 to 1949, and for what joyful purpose?

Mulder

Looking for anomalies, Scully. Do you know how many so-called "flying disc" reports there were in New Mexico in the 1940s?

Scully

I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Mulder

No, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. "Preparation is the father of inspiration."

Scully

"Necessity is the mother of invention."

Mulder

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."

Scully

(taking another bite) "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die."

Mulder

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for"- nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles! (sets the book down; lunges for Scully. He grabs her arm and takes a bite of the dreamsicle, breaking it; it splatters on the page)

Scully

No-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! (laughing) Mulder! (she looks at the page; accusingly) Mulder!? You cheat. I can't believe that you've been reading about baseball this whole time.

Mulder

Reading the box scores, Scully. You'd like it. It's like the Pythagorean Theorem for jocks. It distills all the chaos and action of any game in the history of all baseball games into one tiny, perfect, rectangular sequence of numbers. I can look at this box and I can recreate exactly what happened on some sunny summer day back in 1947. It's like the numbers talk to me, they comfort me. They tell me that even though lots of things can change some things do remain the same. It's...

Scully

(interrupting) Boring. Mulder, can I ask you a personal question?

Mulder

Of course not.

Scully

Did your mother ever tell you to go outside and play? Mulder?

Mulder

(looking at the page the ice cream spilled on; to himself) Is that ...Arthur Dales?

Scully

Mulder?

Mulder

(fake) Ah... Choo! (fake sneezes and rips the page out; Scully pretends to be horrified)

Scully

You just defaced property of the U.S. Government. (he grabs the page and his jacket and runs out of the office; she smiles slightly) You rebel.

Scully

So, uh... I get this message marked "urgent" on my answering service from one "Fox Mantle" telling me to come down to the park for a very special very early or very late birthday present. And, Mulder... I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around so, what gives?

Mulder

You've never hit a baseball, have you, Scully?

Scully

No, I guess I have, uh... found more necessary things to do with my time than- (a foul ball hits the fence; she jumps) slap a piece of horsehide with a stick.

Mulder

Get over here, Scully. (he holds the bat out to her, she takes it, but he keeps his hands on it, wrapping his arms around her and holding the bat with her, around her hands)

Scully

(warily, not thrilled) This my birthday present, Mulder? You shouldn't have.

Mulder

This ain't cheap. I'm paying that kid ten bucks an hour to shag balls. Hey, it's not a bad piece of ash, huh? (gives him a "Look.")The bat - talking about the bat. Now, don't strangle it. You just want to shake hands with it. (doing silly voices) "Hello, Mr. Bat. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." "Oh, no, no, Ms. Scully. The pleasure's all mine." (she laughs, and they hold onto the bat) Okay, now, we want to... we want to go hips before hands, okay? (holds his hand a few inches from her hip) We want to stride forward and turn. That's all we're thinking about. So, we go hips... before hands, all right? (gingerly touches her hip and, with his hands and his own hips pressed against her, turns her correctly)

Scully

Okay.

Mulder

One more time. (he touches and turns her hips more confidently) Hips... before hands, all right?

Scully

Yeah.

Mulder

What is it?

Scully

Hips before hands.

Mulder

(speaking right into her ear) Right. We're going to wait on the pitch. We're going to keep our eye on the ball. Then, we're just going to make contact. We're not going to think. We're just going to let it fly, Scully, okay?

Scully

Mm-hmm.

Mulder

Ready? (he tries to readjust their grips on the bat; they struggle with it for a moment)

Scully

I'm in the middle. (gets her hands back between his; both grining)

Mulder

All right, fire away, Poorboy. (a ball comes at them; they hit it together) Ooh! That's good. All right, what you may find is you concentrate on hitting that little ball... The rest of the world just fades away - all your everyday, nagging concerns.

Mulder

The ticking of your biological clock. (hit) How you probably couldn't afford that nice, new suede coat on a G-Woman's salary. (hit) How you threw away a promising career in medicine... (intimately into her ear) to hunt aliens with a crackpot, albeit brilliant, partner.

Mulder

Getting into the heart of a global conspiracy. Your obscenely overdue triple-X bill. Oh, I... I'm sorry, Scully. Those last two problems are mine, not yours. (hit)

Scully

(smiling happily) Shut up, Mulder. I'm playing baseball.

Langly

What if 'they' did something to him? You know, to make him pancake himself?

Scully

Who's "they?"

Langly

You know... "them."

Scully

(rolling her eyes) I'll begin with the Y-incision.

Scully

What happened?

Langly

I'm thinking that you got a little queasy and took a header. You know, blood and guts can bother some people. (gags)

Scully

(seems intoxicated) Yeah. I guess.

Langly

You gonna be alright?

Scully

Sure, cutie.

Langly

So, you're done with Jimmy?

Scully

Done. Done. Done. (tries to push examining table with no success) How do you roll this thing?

Langly

Uh, Scully?

Langly

What killed him?

Scully

In my medical opinion -- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! *claps*

Langly

And that's all you found?

Scully

That's all I know.

Langly

Scully?