[trying to figure out the nuclear plant accident] I thought a degree in economics was plenty for this job. My kingdom for a plumbing license.
S7Duck and Cover
Are you ready?
To fly into a massive cloud of radiation while the rest of the country is making hats out of tin foil?
It was a rhetorical question.
[who endorsed nuclear power during the debate] Every time they show that debate clip, it looks like I ran into that plant myself and spilled uranium on the floor!
S7The Cold
Vinick has a cold!
Oh, that's precious.
I'm going to send him some Vick's Vapo-Rub and a big German nurse!
[As Vinick and staff sit down in the Mural room] Make yourselves comfortable. The President will be right with you.
Thank you.
[quietly] Not too comfortable.
What?
[acting confused] What?
SSullivan
We have had a good time always running for the center. But the party's over. You're a Republican, you need to start talking to the Republican, conservative base.
Nail him to the cross. He can stump for votes on the Via Dolorosa.
I have a thing of yours.
My Pyongyang book, good. I tore up my whole office looking for it.
It's not that.
Really?
Really.
It's in a blue binder. It may not be --
Nothing in a blue binder.
Are you sure? I mean, picking it out --
It's a bra.
...oh, okay.
[looking at Donna] Oh, this must be what your first smack high feels like.
Here's hoping it's not followed by a huge crash and years of rehabilitation.
Nothing could kill my mood right now, but that was a good try.
SSullivan
We have had a good time always running for the center. But the party's over. You're a Republican, you need to start talking to the Republican, conservative base.
Nail him to the cross. He can stump for votes on the Via Dolorosa.
SSullivan
I am the only person talking to values voters.
And you are doing a fantastic job.
SSullivan
They're not voting for me, and they know it. He needs to spend more time in the southern states to make sure we don't lose them.
The undecideds are moderates. They're not bible thumpers. He's got to speak to their issues.
SSullivan
What's he going to do? Suddenly pull the Arnold Vinick Health Plan out of his tailpipe?
Would that qualify as a miracle? They like the miracles.
S7Two Weeks Out
We lost independents because a nuclear power plant almost had a meltdown after I said nuclear power was completely safe.
That is water under the bridge. Now we've got to...
If it's water under the bridge, how come I'm still ducking reporters on the campaign trail?
LLou
Hey Josh?
Yeah?
LLou
The congressman's briefcase: what's inside there?
Road stuff...toothbrush, electric razor, sometimes a wallet. Why?
LLou
We seem to have lost it, and he seems kinda worried.
The guy's running a tie for the presidency and he's got two weeks left, so you can expect him to look worried once in a while.
LLou
So there's nothing... bad in there.
Like?
LLou
I don't know! Heroin, porn...
No, that's all mine.
LLou
I'm going to go now.
If Santos takes California, game over.
JJane
A Republican can win the Presidency without winning California.
And a Democrat can't. This isn't some sentimental, home-state thing. This is about winning. I don't have a 50-state strategy anymore. I have a one-state strategy: the one state that has everything: big cities, small towns, mountains, deserts, farms, factories, fishermen, surfers, all races, all religions, gay, straight, everything this country has. There's more real America in California than anywhere else. If I can win California I can win the country.
JJane
That's a nice speech; just don't say it into any microphones. Because everyone else in the 49 other states thinks that California is a giant psycho ward.
Over a 26-year career in public service, I'd probably do a lot of things differently if I could do them over again. But my job is to make the best decision I can with the information at the time. You know, if you do something for 26 years you should keep getting better at it. I'm better than I used to be because I have better information. I have more experience making tough decisions. And I have more mature judgment. And that's what I think this country needs now, more than ever. We have troops on the ground in Kazakhstan and more on the way. That's the choice that President Bartlet made to try and keep Russia and China from slipping into war there. Now, the next President is going to have to take over that situation the first hour on the job. That's the most important issue that's facing the country in this campaign. Not who said what about nuclear power 25 years ago. Or did one of us use too strong a word in a debate. The real decision Americans are going to have to make is who do they want as their next Commander-In-Chief.
I want to give him back his briefcase.
I figured.
"When in doubt, do the right thing."
VBVinick and Bruno
[together] "The rest of the time, get away with whatever you can."
Who said that? It must have been one of those Louisiana governors.
Yeah, probably from his jail cell. You know, Santos never got the vetting a front-runner gets. He was never supposed to get the nomination. The press gave him a free ride in the primaries. Until now, he's been running way behind you, so the press still hasn't done their digging on him. But they will now. So, it really doesn't matter what you do with that briefcase. It's going to come out. If it comes out while Santos is in the White House... I don't know what happens. All hell will break loose.
He wouldn't be the first President with an illegitimate child.
How far do you think he's going to get with that defense?
You know what, if I agreed with a candidate on the issues, and I was ready to vote for him, and something like this came out about him, I'd still vote for him.
Good. That's you. And that's maybe most Santos voters. And it is every voter in France. But it is not this country, not yet. I don't want people wishing they could change their votes after this comes out. The voters have a right to know about it before making their voting decision.
Come on, Bruno. This is me you're talking to. Please don't try to turn mud-slinging into a "Respect the Voters" spiel.
Don't tell anyone, but I do respect the voters. That's why I win. I find out what they care about. I don't try to tell them what they care about.
That's not exactly my idea of leadership.
It's my idea of democracy. The voters get to set the terms of the elections, not us. They get to decide what's important, not us. That's why I think voters have a right to this information now instead of six months from now. They could be electing a President who's drowning in scandal when he's supposed to be trying to stop World War III from starting in Kazakhstan. And that is not the kind of guy most of the country wants to be the next Commander-In-Chief.
S7Welcome to Wherever You Are
We need to start addressing real issues and stop wasting time on beauty pageant ephemera.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.