Lou quotes from The West Wing

You saw Vinick on TV this morning. Clearly it wasn't about content, but he was tough and he was authentic. He was Neil Young to your Neil Diamond.

Josh

I like Neil Diamond.

I'm sure you do.

Josh

We can't have a fight about a security leak. We'll get killed. I'm trying to change the conversation back to the economy.

How about moving the conversation to the fact that while Santos was serving in the Gulf, Vinick was serving himself Chardonnay. That Santos is still serving in the Reserves as a Congressman. He's been in the Senate for, like, 90 years. He was practically born in a committee hearing. If you're not using the phrase "Beltway Arnie" in every press release...

Josh

We're not going negative. Not now, not first.

Oh, really. You don't think you're running a negative campaign? Why are you always talking about high-tech jobs? Because Vinick uses a manual typewriter and his future is a set of plastic gums. You're doing political smear like the rest of us. All I'm saying is do it right.

What did you think of the reverse town hall?

I didn't like your joke about being the first one unemployed.

That's just a funny line.

Shaving cream and seltzer are funny. Unemployment's not particularly funny.

I've got the Council Chair after this, we could go egg her house. Was there anything that you did like about the town hall?

Oh, sure, but I assume you have plenty of people around to tell you how great you are, and if you don't, you should hire some because they're wonderful.

Yeah. No, we pay a premium for that. Say, are you familiar with the Mommy Problem?

I am.

Do you think I have one?

That's something you're going to have to answer for yourself, because right now, Beltway Arnie is kicking you all around the electoral math, the White House is treating you like a fly on their governmental windshield. And I wonder if it's just Josh, or do you have what it takes to come out of the Candidate Protection Program and start kicking back.

You know, I introduced a guest worker program the first year I was in Congress. I couldn't even get a hearing on it. Vinick opens his mouth about it once, it's like he's parting the Red Sea.

If you agree with it you're going to look like a follower, not a leader.

He's the one that's following me on this.

It won't look like it; not now. We can't be chasing reporters around with a six-year old page from the Congressional Record to prove you got there first.

Yeah, well, I shouldn't have been hiding on these issues. I didn't want to be the brown candidate. I didn't want to be stereotyped. Josh was right; I should have gotten out in front of all this stuff during the primaries.

Josh

After the round table we're going to have to put something out clarifying the Congressman's statement on Intelligent Design.

That says what, he thinks God's a moron?

Josh

He's running for President, not preacher-in-chief.

He's not going to use Medicaid for communion wafers. He said he believes in God, as did Abe Lincoln and George Washington.

Josh

We can't get sucked into these local issues.

Yes, except Republicans have nominated the first pro-choice and, by all accounts, anti-God candidate in history. For the first time, we have a chance to reach into their base and win back religious voters, to tell a swath of the heartland that maybe, just maybe, we have a nominee who's not hostile to their cultural values.

I was thinking while you were asleep.

Josh

I wasn't asleep.

Oh, really? With the drooling, the twitching, and muttering to yourself, which might otherwise be described as a schizophrenic episode, I'd go with 'You were sleeping.'

Josh

The ad's a sham. Anyone can see from the full interview.

Then bam, we hit Vinick with a political two-by-four.

Josh

You don't have to be happy about this.

You don't have to be queasy about this.

Josh

You don't know Santos the way I do. If this becomes a full-out negative...

You think he's got a glass jaw?

Josh

I think we lose a negative ad war. I think the other side is better at this and I think they have more to work with.

Yeah, come with me.

Josh

Where are we going?

Bedroom/office/staff room.

Josh

OK, I don't want to seem ungracious. We've all been under a lot of pressure. It's just that...

Josh

Hi.

Donna

Hi.

I don't know what the problem is between you two, but she's great on television and I don't care if she worked for Francisco Franco in the primary. Right now, it's all hands on deck, so work it out.

The bus is here. We've really got to move.

Sir, do you know what the average SMT time was this week?

Bram clocks this. He rounds up because he's got money on it.

92 minutes.

That's a lie!

Helen

SMT?

Santos Mean Time.

Helen

92 minutes late?

The notion that I'm the problem is convenient, but completely fallacious!

Hey Josh?

Josh

Yeah?

The congressman's briefcase: what's inside there?

Josh

Road stuff...toothbrush, electric razor, sometimes a wallet. Why?

We seem to have lost it, and he seems kinda worried.

Josh

The guy's running a tie for the presidency and he's got two weeks left, so you can expect him to look worried once in a while.

So there's nothing... bad in there.

Josh

Like?

I don't know! Heroin, porn...

Josh

No, that's all mine.

I'm going to go now.

I've got the latest Rasmussen poll.

Josh

That poll is skewed.

It's got us up by four in Ohio.

Josh

Ohio trends Santos! That's the story of the day.

Donna

Speaking of which, where's Annabeth?

I gagged her and put her in the luggage compartment.

Rough day?

Josh

Nah, typical.

You love it, you live for it, you were born to do it, I'm the same way. Everybody tells me to get a life, although I don't know why... I find life to be terribly overrated. It's actually quite boring when it's not disappointing. Say what you will about what we do, but boring it is not.

Josh

I know that you can parlay the Santos win into a doubling of your fee.

Tripling, if it figures into your memoirs.

Josh

Nothing is going to top this. Everything else's going to be a letdown.

Letdowns that make me semi-rich, that's a tradeoff I'm willing to endure.

Josh

You don't care about money.

Who doesn't?

Josh

You!

Not as such.

Josh

As what?

Score-keeping. Quantitative evidence that I'm smarter than you. Not you.

Josh

Who?

Everybody else.

Josh

Come on board as communications director.

Thank you, but no.

Josh

Finish what you started.

I'm not interested in governing.

Josh

Campaigning's about promise; governing's about achievement. It's, it's tougher and a lot less romantic, but it's not boring. I already think you're smarter than everyone, that's why I want you down the hall. Come on, it's not like getting a life!

That's true, look at you.