Where's the Senator?
He's with CJ. He got me a little drunk.
Is he leaving?
I think he's getting CJ a little drunk.
S5The Supremes
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
Who's at the top of the list? [sees Bartlet's hesitation] If I leaked it, would they believe me?
Brad Shelton.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
[hesitant] Really.
You don't like him?
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
He's a fine jurist. And in the event that Carmine, Lafayette, Hoyt, Clark, and Brannagan all dropped dead, the middle would still be well tended.
[Chuckling] You want another Brady.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
Sure. Just like you'd like another Ashland, who wouldn't? The court was at it's best when Brady was fighting Ashland.
Plenty of good law written by the voices of moderation.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
Who writes the extraordinary dissent? The one man minority decision whose time hasn't come but 20 years later, some circuit court clerk digs it up at 3 in the morning. Brennan rallying against censorship, Harlans jeremiad on Jim Crow.
Maybe you someday.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
Hm. They can't put me on The Court. Just like you can't put Evelyn Lang on The Court. It's Sheltons from here on in.
There are 4000 protesters outside this building, worried about who is going to land in that seat. We can't afford to alienate all of them.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
We all have our roles to play, Sir. Yours is to nominate someone who doesn't alienate people.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
So why a racial preference and not an economic one?
Because affirmative action is about a legacy of racial oppression.
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
It's about compromising admission standards.
That's bull. Excuse me. It's about leveling the playing field after 300 years...
JCJustice Christopher Mulready
See, this is where the liberal argument goes off the tracks. You get stuck in the past. Now, you want to come back at me with "Grading is based on past performance, but admissions should be based on potential, on how a candidate may thrive with this sort of opportunity, and studies show that affirmative action admits have a higher predisposition to contribute to society."
Hang on, I've gotta write this down.
S5Access
You begin every day juggling a very precise schedule which completely, completely falls apart by mid-morning.
One of the hardest things to learn: There are so many true crises, so many lurking situations that could be dangerous for the President, its hard not to get caught up in the adrenaline and make everything lethal. It's more than picking your battles, marshaling your energy. It's about grace under fire. All war metaphors. I guess that's it; being able to tell when its a matter of life or death.
S5Talking Points
Sir, have you read the talking points?
I'm an economist. Some would say half-decent. I don't need a primer on this.
Due respect,sir, your answers on economics can be a bit---
Polysyllabic?
Academic.
I was going to go with incomprehensible.
Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?
Where you going?
To meet Congressman McKenna.
That's funny, actually.
No, it isn't funny. He's a two-bit jerk of a House member. He holds us hostage every time we have a budget or a trade deal, or enough discretionary authority to buy an ice cream cone. I've got the Speaker of the House in ten minutes. I'm gonna smile, bob my head, and stick him in the outbox.
[The two walk into the Roosevelt Room together]
Beat it. I've got a meeting.
So do I's the thing.
It's just me and McKenna.
I'm his new Legislative Director. Hi. He figured it'd be leverage enough that he's on two authorizing committees and can stall half your budget priorities. Is this the part where you smile and bob your head?
'You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose'.... We run a country; we deal in abstractions.
Today's my last day at the White House.
Thank you.
I was hoping you'd give a toast at my going-away party.
How about a plaque, for best impersonation of a blue blazer?
So, you're coming to the party?
I'm having my own celebration with five cloves of garlic and the cast of The Exorcist.
We made a promise.
There was a man named Canute, one of the great Viking kings of the 11th Century. Wanted his people to be aware of his limitations, so he led them down to the sea and he commanded that the tide roll out. It didn't. Who gave us the notion that Presidents can move the economy like a play-toy? That we can do more than talk it up or smooth over the rough spots? It's a lie. What we really owe that union is the truth.
We run around saying free trade creates high-paying jobs.
And it will. But I've been trying to tell you it's not that simple.
I'll set up a call with Bill Parsons.
It'd be nice to roll back that tide, wouldn't it?
Yes, Mr. President, it sure would.
S5No Exit
[to Bartlet] For an Anglo Saxon, you were darn funny.
He's a featherweight who only looks like a lightweight because he's got you propping him up.
He's the heir apparent.
Don't say 'heir apparent' when we have men in moon suits hermetically sealing the Oval. This is Russell's only shot... A night like this.
Believe me, I love the idea of you ministering to the wayward and unwashed. I don't love you becoming a de facto spokesperson for a load of issues we can't support.
I'm not on a lecture tour, I'm seeing patients.
'Hello. My name is Clarissa Ponsissa. I'm 14 and sexually active. But I know it's okay, 'cause I got my condoms from the First Lady.' Fox News is throwing a party.
I'm still laughing.
Real reason I went for a second term: couple more years between this gig, the Gridiron, and the Alfalfa Club, I'll be ready for the Def Comedy circuit.
I'd hold out for Vegas, sir.
My first Correspondent's Dinner was a nightmare. Bombed.
Put that behind you tonight.
I killed.
[Bartlet holds out a tissue box to Debbie and she takes a tissue.]
They laughed till they cried. They're still crying.
Honestly, sir, in my case, it's the pollen count. But for an Anglo-Saxon, you were darn funny.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.